Really effing scared

I don’t know why I keep triggering myself but I think it’s real this time. I’m really fucking scared. I don’t want to be a boy but I feel like I have evidence now. Honestly this is the worst I’ve ever been, my anxiety is so bad and I really think it’s true I don’t want to be a boy but fuuuuuuck it feels like there’s no way out. I’m only 14 and I already feel like my life is over before its even started :(( I miss the girl I used to be Edit: I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I’m doing compulsions by going on trans forums to confirm I’m not trans, any advice to help me stop?? I really need your help :(

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 17w

Feeling so scared and overwhelmed by these thoughts must be incredibly difficult, and it makes sense you're looking for answers. It's common with OCD to feel an urgent need to check or seek reassurance, like visiting forums, but this often fuels the anxiety cycle rather than resolving the doubt. Remember that intense feelings and perceived "evidence" can be part of OCD's trickery. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

It may be helpful to ask yourself WHY you think that you feel like a boy. What is it about your personality or behavior that makes you think that you are like a boy? Our society is heavily gendered and sometimes unfairly categorizes certain activities as "girly" or "manly". You may enjoy doing things that society associates with boys, but that does not mean in any way that you are a boy unless you want to be one.

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 17w

@Anonymous It really is different this time though :( I feel like it is. I’m so done with life I jusy wanna be a girl but I feel like there’s no way I can be a girl if I’m doing these things and I really don’t want to be in denial, but I’m scared that I am

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

@sofiaraaah7 - You must not give up. What are the things you are doing that make you feel like a boy?

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 17w

@Anonymous I actually feel a lot better now, and honestly there aren’t many concrete things that point to me being a boy actually, and I realize that now that I’ve calmed down. I also dont “feel” like a boy, I still feel like a girl

malolin_21

Date posted: 23w

I feel pretty bad

I genuinely feel like this terror inside myself, like this is my last day till everything gets horrible… idk suddenly I have this anxiety this “fear of nothing” makes me feel like I’m not gonna make it, that I will never feel okay and that my life is over. I’m scared, I’m always scared

xoxoacid

Date posted: 19w

How do I get rid of these thoughts or calm down

I've been really overwhelmed with thoughts of detransitioning even though I don't want to like thinking I'm not a boy. It's been making my anxiety go up like crazy but I've never had this problem this much before, and I've always felt so proud of who I was and stuff but I don't know why this is coming up all of a sudden and I'm scared. I don't want to detransition but these thoughts won't go away. I often have feminine interests and have been trying to get into a better mindset and I feel like those things are making me feel more feminine and I don't want to feel that way.

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 17w

It’s real now

I’m sobbing right now. I’m convinced that I’ve been in denial all along and that it’s all real. It has to be now. I don’t wanna be a boy but I feel like there’s no way I’m not one if I’m doing these things. There’s no way I’m a cis girl if I’m doing these things. I’m so fucking done with life I feel absolutely trapped. I don’t wanna be a man but fuuuuuuuuck I think it’s real now I’m so fcking done with living. I really feel like I’ve been using OCD as an excuse/a cover up and I’m scared it’s all a facade. There’s no way it’s not real now I’m literally so fcking scared I want it all to stop. If anyone has advice please send some my way. I need it badly

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Really effing scared

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