Im lowkey accepting everything. I sccepted i dont like boys anymore. I accepted that i lost my attravtion. And the acceptence comes with not really missing it anymore. I lowkey think its more about forgetting what it used to be like to really be into boys to the point where im like aight, i dont miss it bc i dont know what im missing. It just feels emptt but im not continuously feeling sad about how i dont like boys and how im missing them u know. Im jusr like numb and i just be like uhhh when am i going to feel snything again.

Its true but my mind just cant. It just wants to like boys so bad that everythime i see one and i dont feel anything it gets mad at me. I wish i could turn it off. I really appreciate ur comments and help, and u really give me hope too! U got better so i can too

This sounds so accurate to my situation right now. I love my boyfriend and I'd do anything for him. But I could never accept the love he gave me and always kept a safe distance because I have intimacy issues. He's litterally the best thing to ever happen in my life so my brain just kind of snapped because this type of intimacy is just so foreign to me.

@NocturnalGyal Sorry to hear that. I found that communication helps a lot, even if it's just saying that you have issues and you don't know if you'll be able to sort them out before it's too late. It's fine, it takes pressure off and in the end we're just humane trying to do what's best. But for me explaining my dependency issues, trust issues, intimacy issues, helped a lot. My ex had a lot of issues as well and we had an age gap, so in the end I felt I was speaking of growing up and sorting myself out, but she wasn't putting the work into herself and instead blamed everything on the relationship. So I've been in both ends of the rope.

What you mean denial is being in denial about your depression/mental illness?

@Esosa Yes, actually I felt good for some time when I left her and then my depression spiralled down and I had two attempts. That's the way I knew 1) I was in denial about my depression, 2) it's easier to blame your relationship on how you feel rather than doing work on yourself, 3) at least for me, if the relationship is objectively healthy and my closest friends/family can see my actions speak of love, then definitely I need to keep going instead of leaving

@rakemitri For some time = maybe a good 4 or 5 months until I realized I had fucked it up

@rakemitri Ohhh. I was confused for a minute. But I’m glad that you found a way to get better, despite of all this

I know it is it makes so much sense but my mind is reaally stubborn. Sorryy for the late reaction, the nocd app acted up and didnt give me any notifications for like 2 weeks. Really weird

True your out here spitting facts but honestly i wish id come back quickly because my life is so much more fun when i like boys lol

Yeah idk but it deadass is starting to mean less and less to me that im not feeling wha ti used to feel for boys

True I honestly live by this and i know its the truth. I wish i could jusf accept it, stop overthinking snd just let it naturally flow back. The problem is thst i keep making it worse because i cant stop overthinking it. My mind cant just accept it