Questioning my faith or ocd

The problem is that I attach myself to those thoughts, sometimes automatically like when i get angry, but then if i want to stop it i feel like i dont want to cause im angry and i want to feed this more cause i had enough. It was really scary when last week i had like a depression attack or idk what was it but i had sad thoughts ans kinda hopeless thoughts and i wanted to not feed them but then it felt hard and like I just want to feed it cause i had enough and it felt really uncomfortable to not feed it, it felt like i want to be with those depressiove sad thoughts, or same with angry thoughts, and these times i get scared that its not ocd, its more like a real problem

@PRIV8 This is what OCD does. It attaches emotions and urges to thoughts (and actions). You are describing classic OCD symptoms. A good therapist could really help! The answer is usually ERP. There is a paradigm shift that you really need: You need to ALLOW yourself to think of all the scary thoughts. Don’t try to fight them off. Don’t try to resist them. You also need to allow yourself to experience the angry emotions. At times when I was angry at God, I would have the sudden urge to think a thought in my head about selling my soul to the devil. And I would have the urge to go ahead and think that thought out of anger. Sometimes the emotion and anger was so overwhelming, that they overcame my resistance, and I went ahead and thought of the scary thought. What relief it was to find out that need to resist those thoughts at all!! God does not need us to resist those thoughts. We need to have the understanding that the thoughts don’t mean anything. And we can allow ourselves to think them, even if they are about the worst things possible, like bad thoughts toward God or selling your soul. When you learn this, it is the doorway to freedom. I’ll give you a few more examples. When I’m listening to music or watching TV, and I hear something powerful and noble, my OCD usually responds by giving an urge to sell my soul to the devil through either a thought or action or both. But when I feel moved by the powerful emotion from the TV, it becomes hard to resist doing that thought or action, because it feels overwhelming. Just now, there is a lyric in one of the songs I was listening to, that was kind of like a swearword to me. And my OCD wants to make a lunge at me at that moment to agree with that word. This is what OCD does. It wants to inhibit you from experiencing any emotions, because it wants to convince you that emotions make you out of control and will lead to bad thoughts. Therefore, we feel like we have to suppress our emotions. But that is so wrong! If you are feeling angry, and your OCD tells you that you have to resist certain thoughts or actions, but you don’t want to because you want to vent your anger, then you are falling into an OCD trap. The only way to get out of that is to ALLOW yourself to think of those thoughts. And allow yourself to experience the emotions. ERP will help you with this. You can break free. You just need to a free paradigm shifts. I want so much got you to get out of this trap!!

@Tea and Honey Right above “What a relief to find out that I did NOT need to resist the thoughts”