Magical OCD

Hi everyone sometimes when I try to do something or do something my ocd tells me if I post a certain things or wear certain clothes that that some people in my life won't talk to me or distance themselves away from And I know it's sound crazy, but I feel like it's real what should I do I don't know how to fight it or stop I've been like this since I was 13 I went to therapy and iam taking my medicine but still those thoughts won't stop I don't know how to deal with it

helllohihihi

Date posted: 9d ago

hey that doesn’t sound crazy at all i’ve had the exact same type of OCD before! the trick for me was wearing it more and convincing myself to wear a certain item maybe once per week and even if i noticed distancing, i would still do it until i achieved a positive result. the second thing i did was i kind of manipulated my compulsions and convinced myself the more i think of that specific clothing item being the reason for example my friends wont talk to me that day the more likely it is that my friends will be drawn to me that day if i wear it! hope this helps

Anonymous

Date posted: 9d ago

Hii dear thanks for the advice ll'l try that in My life I hope it will work ❤️

NODA

Date posted: 9d ago

I have been dealing with this type of ocd for 38 years. I know all ocd types suck, but the magical thinking ocd when combined with thought and emotional contamination ocd is truly the psychopathic one. It doesn't stop until it completely ruins you to the point where the only way out is either urgent help or suicide. I am lucky that meds do help me a lot, but I am not sure if that is just with anxiety or also with ocd itself. Life is livable now, but when obsessions strike, I can postpone compulsions, but cannot not do them. Sooner or later the anxiety calms down but the fear of what if is still strong. The link between the obsessions and compulsions, the topics ocd comes up, can be so abstract and weird, that unless you've lived it, there is no way you can understand it. Even other people who suffer from ocd, and it is very hard for them, still do not know the real hell unless they've experienced it. It has 3 times almost completely ruined my life. I was vegetating basically. Was unable to function and live any longer because of the indescribable fear of what if.... If you are afraid you will get sick if you touch something and don't wash your hands, it is hard, but it is possible to understand it, there is some underlying logic in it. With thought and emotional contamination combined with magical thinking ocd, it is nuthouse. Nothing makes sense and yet you can't breath, can't function, can't be a daughter, a son, a parent, a friend, a husband or wife. You can't even be you anymore. Your thoughts make you feel dirty. Your emotions make you feel dirty. You may be put in a sterile environment and you would still feel so so so dirty because of a certain feeling, certain thought, a word just in your head or spoken outloud by you or anyone else. You can't watch TV, use a computer, phone, listen to music, read books or newspapers, because there is threat lurking in any of them. If I see a name that reminds me of someone my ocd is focused on, my whole life collapses. I would feel less dirty and less panicky if I fell into a pool of mud. And the example above is just one of the numerous examples I could give you. In the end, you get tired of being alive, too tired to breath anymore. I was lucky I somehow pulled through. And that I chickened out. Because there were sooo many times when I prayed for God or destiny to give me a heart attack or just some way or another take my life. I understand you 1000000 % and I hope you newer hit the rock bottom like I did quite a few times. 2 years ago I had no life. I was scared to death 24 hours of each day. Not only of obsessions, but also of the exhaustion my doing the compulsions leaves behind. The I went on Zoloft. 2 years after my life is 90% better. There is always hope. Take care.

Anonymous

Date posted: 9d ago

Iam so sorry you had to get through that I know that's terrible But you are so brave that you pulled your self out of it I don't know you as a person but iam so proud of you I hope you will improve i hope I can but iam not sure

Anonymous

Date posted: 9d ago

Hi Anon, I'm so sorry you've been trying to handle magical thinking with wearing certain items since you were 13. I wasn't diagnosed with it but I had similar experiences and not sure if I'm not diagnosed with it from years of long term exposure and kindness to overcome such compulsion. My family is really into superstition so I had to follow it just so I wouldn't be scolded for hours, but i still got blamed for it despite doing the rituals. Probably why I rebelled to challenge my superstitions, fears, and barriers. Not because I was strong but I felt safe, dumb, or spiteful enough to do so. So if I thought something was lucky I tend to rejoice if I did have a lucky day, if it's unlucky or bad day well I had to really practice nothing including God would have changed the outcome because if it did, it meant someone would have gotten hurt or take an angels wings away because only on bad days it gives an angel a chance to help and earn it's wings. It is my own paradigm shift to help me stop some overthinking until I don't have to think or mine the rituals at all especially when my OCD is encouraged and demanded externally from me. Just an example in case it helps you redirect magical thinking energy into SpongeBob imagination meme of if it feels good, have fun, if it feels bad, let yourself be sad yet no one takes the blame. It really helps doing these exposure with an expert like they say to wear said unlucky item and the friend shows up anyways. Because it's hard to think outside of the box or maybe medicine can help lessen the emotional pull of performing these steps when juggling other emotions and responsibilities. OCD also is trying to trick and take credit of the knowledge the times someone may have commented "that look isn't right" by tying it to a different memory as if you didn't showered for 3 months and that's why they avoided you. The brain can really want to make up it's own data so it can be right, and being right doesn't necessarily mean doing the right thing or correct. Just someone gave up arguing or there was no contest to the statement. Also wanted to add you know what is the common denominator of wearing something lucky? You, you're lucky. And even with luck there has to be moments that yes this was the lucky version, otherwise you could have won 1 million dollars and feel worst and insist on magical thinking. You are amazing in every way flaw and all and that itself is magical enough. Items are just like game skins you buy for your character to wear base on what you like to see, not what others see. You'll do okay, you've made it this far already.

Vee4

Date posted: 21w ago

I think I have severe ocd

So I've had OCD since I was a child. Like really young. The first intrusive thought I can remember was when I was 5. It just keeps getting worse and lately they've been making me physically ill or throwing me into extreme panic attacks again ( ones where I can't move my body ) the other night I thought God was trying to kill me because I was thinking about ending myself from OCD+ life issues but in reality I was just having a panic attack😭😭it affects me daily. It gets a little better with therapy but I don't see therapy coming into my life any time soon and I'm not even sure if I would want to go (for multiple reasons). To wrap this up if you have severe ocd can you tell me what it's like?? I don't want to label anything without proper research and hearing others perspectives. Thank you!! <3 (My profile says all of my subtypes if that helps any)

tlousluvr

Date posted: 20w ago

advice 🧸

hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗

strawberryjax

Date posted: 14w ago

hey. i have contamination ocd and this is my life.

back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.

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