Am i in the wrong relationship or is it rocd?

I am scared the relationship i am in is karmic and i am just scared like its for lessons as it matches with everything that is said..how do i know that it will work and the feeling of it not working with every fight weakening us more than strengthen cause we were never meant to be and should have called it off a while ago after the first few good times cause then we got attached and are dragging it? and i feel it just cant be like intuition wise and if intuition what else can be questioned cause if so and i know breakup not meant to be very different want different things cant change and dragging as i said above and if i know and feel it is not going to work no matter how much we try after fight cause we just are incompatible fundamentally then it is so and idk what we are doing as i feel numb and dissociated and sooner or later will break-up cause not meant to be and is just stretching cause of habit…and none of this is ocd but actually coming up from actual relationship problems so it cant be ocd but the wrong relationship…

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

I have severe ROCD. My best recommendation to you is to try and identify the obsessions and compulsions. Is there one particular issue that you keep going back to that keeps repeating over and over? For example, I have one obsession about a girl that my boyfriend works with. I obsess over every single interaction they have, every story he tells me, I feel compulsions to look through his phone and work computer, I feel compulsions to constantly ask him for reassurance, these are things that are 100% my OCD. But then we also have normal relationship issues that aren't OCD related, like wanting him to spend more time with my family or making sure he lets the dogs out when he gets home. I think you really need to identify if your relationship has fundamental building blocks like love, trust and respect, and if your OCD is creating problems that aren't there, or if your relationship has some deeper issues that need to be looked at. There is also a book I would recommend called Relationship OCD by Sheva Rajaee that may help you as well.

sulkycay

Date posted: 16w

I think that you maybe just need to find things to keep you busy perhaps? So that you’re not always overthinking about things like this, I understand that it’s easier said than done but I believe in you. Also communicate with how you feel to your significant other and maybe he will try to help and be more reassuring? Or maybe he will prove you right. You’ll never know unless you try. But please don’t overthink your life away. Live it

sulkycay

Date posted: 16w

I used to feel the same way about my current relationship but with communication and effort from both sides, the relationship doesn’t have to end to resolve this issue. If you love him and if he loves you. It’ll work out and I hope it does❤️

Brave through

Date posted: 16w

I am scared he is proving me right and stuff and like he doesnt care or care when i say that he needs to and then forgets and i dont understand so this could maybe just be a problematic relationship and not ocd right? And also like i fear cheating on him in a way that theres this guy in my internship sweet and all and funny and today we were all talking other interns and he wasnt there so i took extra effort to call him when he didnt come and wanted him to but then why at all i am dating and you do and feel like that when you like someone and also my intentions are that and not friendly added to whatever i wrote above.. means its wrong and i will leave... pls help me to understand what to do and how to do this pls help me i really hope you reply i fear i will and want to cheat and that my bf is not good for me and which means this is not ocd cause it feels wrong and i like this other guy not as friends as others ? And this means and i know its not ocd pls help me...and like these guys were going down to chill and i thought i wouldn’t go and then i thought and know that this guy would have gone i would have and i know i would have and if so and thats micro cheating and i am a liar.?! Pls help

Brave through

Date posted: 16w

@sulkycay Thankyou so much if you could pls read the above message i could really use some guidance ….the cheating part really scares me and the rest too… pls pls reply if you can…pls i would be grateful i would really appreciate it i really need some help and guidance pls🥺

Firefly girl

Date posted: 23w

Rocd and Soocd

Every morning I wake up im always fixating on something and texting chat gpt, whether thats my relationship or my sexuality. I try so hard to resist it but I just can’t handle the uncertainty or the idea of hurting him or leading him on. We aren’t even official because in the past my rocd caused an issue between us where it led to him breaking up with me so now I have a fear of his intentions being ingenuine, especially because friends and family have called him a love bomber, saying he used me for attention, and narcissistic. This takes over me because I feel like I will never be able to be happy with him or trust myself or the relationship because of what other people say. I am very content on my own and single, this is the first relationship where i have experienced debilitating anxiety and doubt about the legitimacy of both of our feelings to the point where I cannot function. I’m trying so hard to not feed into it and not give it energy but I just hate the idea of leading him on or being inauthentic to what I truly want. My current therapist who I only see a couple times a month doesn’t think I have ocd, which makes me spiral and think I should end it with him, especially because I always hear things like “The right relationship will add to your life” and I feel the opposite is happening not directly because of him but because my brain takes over and paralyzes me with indecision about if i should be with him or not. I know that his intentions are genuine, but I hate that everyone is so cynical and assumes they’re not just because my rocd and his emotional baggage created a messy situation. From the moment i met him I convinced myself it was too good to be true and my therapist even said I was self-sabatoging. But i hate not knowing if it is rocd and my insurance doesn’t cover NOCD. He is so patient with me and supportive but I keep hearing things like “the honeymoon stage is supposed to last 3 months” and “it shouldn’t be this hard with the right person” “you’re not good for each other” and my friends tell me i didnt do anything wrong etc bc he did at first say my ocd didnt affect him when in reality that led to him ending it initially. But he has been more upfront with his emotions but then my mom and people will say “more to come” “there’s so much more out there” and its just so isolating not having that support and wondering if im too young to settle and if I’m just an idiot convincing myself I have rocd when really i just don’t want to be with him/it is a toxic relationship. When in reality the only reason it is toxic is because i am so sporadic about whether or not I want him in my life because of my distrust in myself and my decisions. I love him but I know love isn’t always enough and I get existential fixating on what’s “meant to be” and what’s “supposed to happen” its like this debilitating urge to control everything and make everything go perfectly how it is supposed to go. Please help i just want to make the right decision and stop paralyzing myself with doubt

Kay.lee

Date posted: 23w

ROCD

What if I really don’t like my partner? What if I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that my intuition could be OCD? What if we’re just not meant to be? I’m so confused

user36373738

Date posted: 11w

Spinning / long but plz read

I have had ROCD in my relationship for a while and I’ve always been having the feeling do I break up so I not but even with the anxiety I still felt love and knew I didn’t want to be without him. But now it feels different. What scares me is it feels like I could actually see myself wanting to date someone else because of qualities he doesn’t have. I keep seeing him as overall bad. For more context he is caring, generous, we are very similar, but have different communication styles and talking issues out is hard for him. He also can be irritable easily, he doesn’t like talking things out that much and there’s a bit of a maturity difference which I know is sometning that can grow. Lately I feel like when I’m around him I am just frustrated with how he is acting like when he does something that upsets me like makes a joke about something he knows isn’t funny and bothersome to me, he’ll say sorry but then end up doing it again. Even though I know he really does care about me which I know it feels like he only cares about him doing wrong like he doesn’t want to do wrong instead of actually wanting to fix my feelings being hurt cause when he asks if I’m upset and I say yes he will get upset and try to be defensive and it makes me feel he cares more about being wrong. I also have had less empathy toward him which really scares me because I am a very empathetic person but I am hoping it’s just cause of bad ocd and built frustrations. Also, I do know cause he has told me and I’ve seen it that he always wants to impress his parents and not make them mad because they pick at him the minute he does wrong. This is probably why it’s hard to talk things out but lately I have been feeling like I can’t say anything cause he will just get more anxious or shut down or not want to hear it. Anyway, what makes me anxious is it feels like I don’t feel anything anymore and my brain is saying the only reason why I get anxious thinking of not being together is because I hate change and cause he is the first person I’m with. But I keep going back and forth. It’s so hard to be around him now. All I’m trying to think of is evidence that I still love him or the good things about him. I’m really afraid this isn’t ocd and that it has just morphed into it just isn’t working anymore. Some feelings like less love feel real but also ocd gets in between everything and it’s so fuzzy. I am afraid deep down I really know. My brain keeps saying I can’t be with him anymore cause I can’t be with someone if I feel like this about him. Meaning if I don’t have empathy for him cause I’m frustrated or whatever and if all I can see his bad even though I know there is good. It also says if I was with someone else that was a little nicer or could talk things out or whatever imaginary scenario in my head I wouldn’t feel like this😭 and I love the family and it keeps saying I’m only staying cause of the family. And some of this I’m like wait that might be true and I have to rest and review and I’m exhausted. And one minute I want to leave the next I don’t….im worried the only reason I am with him is cause of how great things were or cause he loves me and not me loving him.

Relationship OCD

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Am i in the wrong relationship or is it rocd?

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