finches

Date posted: 15w

anyone with autism + ocd?

so. oh lord. half my ocd symptoms could be autism. (not that im looking for a triple diagnosis including adhd, its just interesting to explore) this little ol rabbit hole started with my friend, who happens to be autistic and passionate about how their own condition works, when they started slowly easing the convo into an autism screening and by the time i realized what he was doing it was “oh my god ur kinda right i might be wrong for denying all this time that i could have autism” always thought my experience with texture/sensory as a toddler (and now) was ocd, because thats mainly what made adults call me ocd, more blatant ocd signs aside (such as touching things “just right”, ordering items etc) wondered why i was like that when theres not even a *direct* link between ocd and sensory issues (not the same as somatic ocd) thought i just happen to be an extremely sensitive person since i was born, now realizing that couldve been a sign of autism, along side many more “quirks” ive always had anyone with autism and ocd that can tell me what their experience is like? what about when u were children? especially if u snuck under the radar until u were older, my parents have said only a few times in the moment that i remind them of an autistic kid but dont think i have it

Order & Symmetry OCD

sophea

Date posted: 15w

I was diagnosed with ASD before OCD, so it's kind of the opposite for me. I attributed a lot of OCD traits to autism. I used to say, "the anxiety from GAD and rigid mindset/inflexibility from ASD combine in a way that looks suspiciously similar to OCD." It actually was OCD after all. Ha!

finches

Date posted: 15w

@sophea my loyalty to routine and being inflexible is another thing that trips me up lol ive always attributed it as an ocd trait but wonder if it could actually be an autistic trait. people say the difference is a feeling of “dread” but my ocd actions have always felt more connected to irritation and an abstract feeling of wrongness + incompleteness rather than like something bad will happen

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 15w

Hi🐥+ suffered with symmetry theme, magical thinking ocd, somatic ocd growing up+yes there's definitely a definite link between ocd and sensory issues (that stuff is way amplified) + it's audhd I do have

finches

Date posted: 15w

@Ms.shelovesfrogs there is a direct link to sensory processing? felt like there should be but most that i see is its linked because having autism with ocd isnt uncommon. or same for adhd + autism. so people who are adhd or ocd might struggle with it not knowing theyre autistic as well and its a symptom

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 15w

@finches Asd and audhd can trigger and affect compulsions. With audhd I don't notice until there becomes an overwhelming urge to engage in compulsions

sanshine

Date posted: 15w

I want to get tested for autism because sometimes I really feel like I am so different than other people. Like I don't understand emotions as well, I don't understand sarcasm, like idk like ik I can't see diagnose but 5000 to get tested is impossible

finches

Date posted: 15w

@sanshine see, im on meds for adhd bc its really my main problem. autism or ocd?? i dont really care. tf would i do abt autism? and ocd for me only increases in being a problem when i encounter the things that it affects so with my life right now its half noticeable. I relate to an incredible amount of autistic experiences but as far as i know, not the social struggle. If i take a random autism quiz, just answering questions without context its gonna look like i have trouble in social settings but thats more so about adhd and not being able to analyze social interactions as quick as i should be able to. i prefer people state their feelings and intents. who knows tho haha how am i meant to recognize this when my friends are all really transparent and direct people. i experience love + empathy + emotions quite differently so maybe thats related to that field

sanshine

Date posted: 15w

@finches That's totally valid just some people have told me they don't appreciate how I don't seem to understand their perspectives. And sometimes it seems difficult for me to learn or grasp certain social stuff???? Idk I'd just like to know and then if there's anything I could do personally or at least if I knew there is a cause behind some of my behavior

finches

Date posted: 15w

@sanshine my response would be “explain to me how you feel” because i dont think i have the same reactions to things as most do, and i wouldnt understand their perspective because how others react sometimes can almost seem irrational to me. communication is really all thats needed between u and other people i think, as long as they actively have it with u instead of expecting you to read between every line in order to understand them.

finches

Date posted: 15w

@finches ur clearly eager to improve but others dont realize you need something else from them to do that

sophea

Date posted: 15w

I don't think I can accurately sum up my experience with autism in this comment section since it literally changes the entire way my brain functions. I would recommend reading through the DSM-5 or ICD-11 (depending on where you live) criteria with someone who knows you really well (i.e. parent, sibling, parent, etc.) and talking through whether you experience the criteria (to a debilitating degree) and whether the symptoms can be *better* explained by OCD. Obviously, it's better to be screened by a professional, but this is a good place to start.

TayTay21

Date posted: 5d

relate heavy. I have struggled with sensory symmetry since I was around 6. I've always liked organizing things just right on shelves and stuff for example, though I will leave clothes and smtms a couple dishes around so I'm not always "neat" but I clean up at least once a week (ik I don't get it either). Anyway, I was diagnosed with OCD as a late teen. Inattentive ADHD 2 years later. Had a manic episode that turned into a psychosis, was hospitalized for a month, and a few months later was diagnosed with Pschizo-affective Bipolar Disorder. So all that to say, you can be diagnosed with lots of disorders and rlly exhibit the symptoms of them BUT I have always had the same question about autism. Because I have come to understand that autism is an umbrella term that covers a wide variety of symptoms. And it's sort of "hey if you have 'enough' of these symptoms you have autism". I don't know where the line is and I've never had social problems but I do struggle with hyper-empathy. Which is another part of the spectrum. I will feel very deeply and often sick over things that are not a big deal, or only in TV, or news about someone I don't even know. And I have those sensory issues. I get overwhelmed by chaotically loud places and certain sounds repeating over and over, like typical in autism. But on the other side I love things like raves where I'm COMPLETELY saturated in noise and just moving my body so much I don't even think about sensory issues. So yeah. Maybe it's a million disorders. Or maybe my episodes are autistic burnout and the psychosis part is actually literally anothee one of the many symptoms of autism. Pick a disorder, any disorder (insert deck of cards emoji which apparently doesn't exist and I made it up)

pgrace06

Date posted: 25w

do I have ocd?? or can you relate to any of this?

Prior to coming to college, I knew that I was having thoughts that other people weren’t having and that it controlled my actions or feelings of guilt in a way that I just couldn’t see in my friends but I ignored it. Since coming to college, my compulsions and stressful thoughts have gotten a lot harder to handle and my new friends have started pointing out that they think I have OCD. I’ll try to explain some of the reasons people have pointed out or I’ve noticed but at the end of the day I always question if I’m just doing these things for some sort of attention or something. I have this strong belief that when I’m walking on pavement, the amount of times that I start stepping on a tile with either my right or left foot have to match. And people always ask me if I’m just superstitious about stepping on the cracks but I don’t mind that as long as I make it match with my other foot. The problem is that whenever I’m unable to “make the tiles or cracks match” I feel like I’ve left some universal channel open and something extremely bad will happen to me in the next 24 hours (after that it resets). Sometimes it makes me look weird when I’m walking and it’s really embarrassing when people ask me about it and I can’t fully explain the concept to them. People generally just get confused and I feel like they just regret asking and think I’m weird. Once, when I was walking down the street with some of my friends, i ran out of tiles to make my steps even and totally FREAKED OUT. I got really anxious and I couldn’t stop bouncing my leg. One of the people I was with made me feel terrible about it when he said “wait that’s actually real?” So now my fears of faking OCD just because has become a bit more real to me since my friends don’t understand the full extent of how it makes me feel, even when they’re actively seeing me break down. Besides this, which is really the most inconvenient part of my potential OCD, there’s a multitude of other things I’ve noticed that show signs of it. Whenever I take a test, I have to be wearing at least 2 hairbands on my wrist and be wearing a sweater in order to do well. Numbers really matter a lot to me because they each have a different meaning and I’m scared of some of them. When I was little, and even now in other instances besides sleeping, I used to count how many times I rolled over before I fell asleep in fear that I would land on one of the bad numbers. For example, 1 would mean a serial killer was in my room, 3 would mean something would come out of the mirror, 4 would mean a doll came to life and was trying to murder me with a knife, etc. They all sound like stupid fears and are highly improbable but it used to feel very real to me. Now I still associate those numbers with the bad things but I’ve worked on trying to expose myself to certain numbers some nights and find some safe ones. Now the number 4 has changed in meaning and evolved into my worst fear, the zombie apocalypse. This all ties back to my tile crack issue because when I “leave the channel open” by making my steps uneven, the number I mess up at (ex: 4 tiles started on the right means I need to start the next four with my left) is the chaos that the channel will bring. Also, I constantly feel like a terrible person because I’m scared that I’m faking my sexuality even though I only like girls. I’ve been closeted for so long throughout high school that sometimes I feel like my current shame and fear of telling important people in my life (ie. parents, family friends, people who I feel are slightly homophobic) is a sign that I’m not like devoted enough to my sexuality – making me scared of calling myself a lesbian. I’ve also never been with a girl because I only recently came out at college and it fuels my rumination that I subconsciously must just be asexual or once again doing it for attention. I’ve tried dating guys to make my mom believe I wasn’t lesbian but kissing them or the thought of spending the rest of my life with a man always makes me literally cry. I go to Virginia Tech and the lack of an LGBTQ+ community here is making my coming out process and search for a true relationship extremely difficult and bleak. Whenever I see a girl I don’t find attractive (even though I see a bunch that I do) it scares me and makes me think I might not actually be lesbian even though I like girls. Idk what to even say about this it just sucks. There’s so much more that I can relate to based on the discussion board such as fears of accidentally having pdophelia and cheating on people I’m not even dating. But at this point I feel like I’ve already written an essay and I don’t even know where to start with the different types of OCD and where to seek a diagnosis. The hardest part about asking for help or guidance is the fact that I never attempted to get diagnosed, making it feel like I can’t even claim that I have it. Thanks for reading this, please write back if you can relate at all :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Where is there no ocd?

I was doing some research and saw about the narcissistic traits that OCD can create. Is this after the person knows they have OCD? Because I always knew I had it. But it was the classic one, with little quirks. Years later I developed false memory and intrusive thoughts whit my present theme. I was reading this because I was thinking about attraction. And I think I'm only attracted to two people in this life. But I remember from times by I had the feeling to please people. Without any interest and without even having the intention to do it, it was very automatic. So I was constantly focusing on how I was apparently being. I never acted like I was interested, but it was always like I was dealing with people's focuses. To tell you the truth, I've noticed that I do this even in other social interactions. I feel like I'm being watched all the time and so I have to act the way I'd like to be seen, like a sweet and delicate person. To be honest, I thought it had to do with my childhood issues because I was very careless and that got me bullied a lot when I was little kid. So I thought I was super focused on my appearance because of that. And I thought that the agaradar came as a consequence precisely because I was always seen as a grotesque girl because I took little care of myself. I even remember that the compliment that made me happiest was when someone said I was delicate. It made sense to me that it really was that. But after researching more, I realized that there are a lot of impulsive and repetitive things in my actions. And never with any intention. But in a very strange way. So much so that when I was younger I swore that I had some kind of personality disorder because it was very common to act one way one day and another way the next day. Maybe I was just an unstable teenager? Thank u for the help!

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 12w

OCD + autism combo

I have experienced every theme that can be added to post but I’m currently experiencing those. So I am on the spectrum and I happen to have a high sensory profile and it definitely gives the ocd more to latch unto. I would see a pretty female with makeup done and it eatssss and I would notice the facial symmetry + how her features compliment each other and my ocd would be like why did you notice she is pretty, BECAUSE I HAVE EYES😭! I can’t be the only neurodivergent person that notices details and how attractive people are intensely? I do not even care about orientation but I know for sure if I was into women, it won’t just start plaguing me one evening Im my head shouting “you are gay” like man Im a female at least say you are a lesbian 😭😂😂😂😂. How can I genuinely have no interest and get outrightly repulsed by females sexually and romantically. It feels like I am being forced to be something im not. I tried accepting i am lesbian but I experienced more anxiety and could not sleep till I accepted i am still straight and it is ocd playing with me(ocd leave me alone, I don’t even enjoy playing with you) I accepted i am a lesbian like ocd said I should but why do I still love my ex and hope I marry him😭 + I couldn’t bring myself to be interested in females. OCD leave me alone because I don’t enjoy this game again! I’m not homophobic at all but denouncing Im straight doesn’t feel like home and I still find myself yearning for only men

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