anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

hocd

I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.

Sexual Orientation OCD

What is happ...

Date posted: 15w

I feel your pain. I’m a happily married man to an amazing wife with two children. Mine started 4months ago. Parts have become better. The ‘false’ attraction is the thing which is destroying me at the moment. At first it was horrendous, every male I saw or voice. I couldn’t shop, listen to music or watch television. This has calmed a bit, still there. The thoughts are non stop. Soon as I awake they are there. I suffer from the loss of attraction to opposite sex too which I’ve had good days but not how it use to be. I use to be obsessed with woman. This has hit me like a train! I fear I will loose my family. I love them so much but this ‘OCD’ is ruining me.

anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

@What is happening to me same , idk how i can go from stressing sm over it and not liking it and just wanting men to being fine with it and like i want it, idk what to do im scared, i just wanna keep loving my boyfriend

anonymous00981

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous1348 I’ve had the same thing happen when I’m like “this is literally just my ocd”. My ocd then goes “maybe you want to like girls now” and then I’m questioning everything all over again. I believe it’s called the backdoor spike when you’re starting to give up control and lean into uncertainty.

What is happ...

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous0325 I find that the hardest thing is to ‘accept’ and go with the OCD. I’m always fighting deep inside knowing who I was before this happened. I want to be the person I was. The amount of times I’ve nearly thrown up, shivering trying to ‘agree’ with the thoughts is torture.

What is happ...

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous1348 @anonymous0325 I find that the hardest thing is to ‘accept’ and go with the OCD. I’m always fighting deep inside knowing who I was before this happened. I want to be the person I was. The amount of times I’ve nearly thrown up, shivering trying to ‘agree’ with the thoughts is torture.

anonymous00981

Date posted: 15w

@What is happening to me Exactly what happened to me!!!! I remember telling myself that I was going to try the “maybe, maybe not” because my reassurance compulsions had stopped working and I was in a really bad burnout. I was literally shaking with so much anxiety and then it’s gotten easier since. Although I will say the backdoor spike or feeling of incompleteness is sometimes worse than the spiral because then I’m worried that me not feeling as anxious means something more.

What is happ...

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous0325 I will try to continue. I hate this so much. I was so happy before this.

anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous0325 it feels so real for me now tho with like very little anxiety i’m just sad, but i was like depressed and panic attacks for months before, seems any time i get better which i was this is what it does tells me like ur outa it now u are acc just lesbian/bi

anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous0325 did it ever feel so real for u, with little anxiety just sad, cause i was doing better and now it’s just like ur fine so it’s not ocd ur lesbian/bi and want it and im just depressed

What is happ...

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous1348 Absolutely feels reel. Everything thing feels reel, but straight arrears or a few moments I feel sick of the idea/thought. My stomach churns and my head constantly feels heavy with the battle. I still feel sad and depressed, my anxiety has calmed but every so often I still get panic attacks. I just can’t bear the thought that I’m giving in or even agreeing to it.

anonymous00981

Date posted: 15w

Yeah my ocd literally makes me like my identity traits are lesbian and it’s so aggravating because I’ve never thought of myself like that

anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

@anonymous0325 idk what to do anymore , used to be awful now i’m just sad feels like this is it

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 15w

I'm sorry about this. I also struggle with SO-OCD and it's torture ☹️

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

Can anyone tell me if this is normwl

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

geodrimilis

Date posted: 19w

Hocd is literally a clown in my head.

Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Ampyyy

Date posted: 12w

Hocd

I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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