- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yup. That's how my day goes too
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes! This is me in a nutshell except I have the same real event stuck on loop. It’s an event from my teenage years that popped into my head and I can’t let it go. I’m 31 now. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this theme as well. It’s really challenging, even with ERP. What’s helping me a little is something I read that goes like this “I acknowledge this thought, but I’m not going to think about it anymore” each time the obsession pops up (I know it’s constant, mine is too :/ but this is used to interfere with the ruminating which is the main thing keeping our obsessions so alive and intense.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
i'm so sorry that you have to deal with that :( how long have you been stuck on that event? has it changed at all? stay strong, i hope you're doing better these days ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My current situation to, what I did do is try to forgive myself (which ocd didnt like so it must of helped) and from that point acknowledge when it pops in and focus on your next task. I would wager a bet that your brain is exaggerating your past just like mine and it feels so real and credible and it is truly horrendous feeling that is false. When you get anxious try breathing exercises and distraction techniques. One thing that also helped is say to yourself... At this moment I am ok .
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That's something my therapist has repeatedly been telling me too - that I have to forgive myself. It's so hard. I think we hold ourselves to a perfect standard that we'll never reach. Distracting myself is all that works but living distraction to distraction is no way to live. I wish I could feel good about myself and be proud of all of my words and actions in the past so that I could let my mind wander without the paranoia cycle starting, you know?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@yoko oh noooo I completely feel you I really do, but you dont need to feel proud about your past one bit just forgive yourself acknowledge it and move onwards step by step. I really do understand this predicament as it still comes and goes with me but in order to try and move on I had draw a line in the sand almost a foundation to build on piece by piece, some times the wind will knock a piece off and you have to reattach it but at least you know where it came from.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You just described me to a T.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
I’ve said and done so many hurtful things growing up, especially in elementary and middle school. I was very passive aggressive and mean for a majority of my life, and I’ve hurt peoples feelings. I’m no longer like that now, but every single thing I’ve ever done wrong replays in my head constantly, from the moment I wake up to the second I go to sleep. I know I deserve to feel the chronic guilt and shame, so I feel even more guilty pitying myself. It’s eating me alive, I’m so scared. I know people must hate me, and they have every right to. feel like I don’t deserve to have moments of happiness because I’ve taken that ability away from someone before. I’m not diagnosed, but this has been going on for years and I’m scared to talk to anyone about it because I fear they would look at me differently knowing I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. I feel like a monster. It’s ruining my life and I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I want to go do something I enjoy so badly but I feel like I don’t deserve it. I’m full of guilt, shame, and anxiety. I wish I felt okay like I did a few days ago. I feel so awful right now. I hate OCD. I HATE pocd. I hate all of it. I wish this was easier. Sometimes I have the thought that I wish I was the things my OCD makes me afraid I am out of desperation to stop the anxiety, but then that thought makes me panic bc I don’t actually mean that or want that I just want the anxiety and urgency in the compulsions to stop. I’m so tired
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- Date posted
- 11w ago
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
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