I feel too "bad" to redeem myself or deserve recovery. I know it's just my OCD but every second I'm awake another completely different memory hits me and I'm filled with guilt and regret and paranoia. It never stops. I really don't know what to do. I'm in therapy and I'm trying every day but it's so hard to get better when you feel like you need to punish yourself for every move you make. I'm not sure what kind of treatment could help me when I have a new obsession every half hour and they're generally based on my past/real events. If any of you feel this way I'm so sorry :(

"Pure" OCD

Motorhead

Date posted: 6y

Yup. That's how my day goes too

Mila19

Date posted: 6y

Yes! This is me in a nutshell except I have the same real event stuck on loop. It’s an event from my teenage years that popped into my head and I can’t let it go. I’m 31 now. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this theme as well. It’s really challenging, even with ERP. What’s helping me a little is something I read that goes like this “I acknowledge this thought, but I’m not going to think about it anymore” each time the obsession pops up (I know it’s constant, mine is too :/ but this is used to interfere with the ruminating which is the main thing keeping our obsessions so alive and intense.

little blue

Date posted: 6y

i'm so sorry that you have to deal with that :( how long have you been stuck on that event? has it changed at all? stay strong, i hope you're doing better these days ?

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

My current situation to, what I did do is try to forgive myself (which ocd didnt like so it must of helped) and from that point acknowledge when it pops in and focus on your next task. I would wager a bet that your brain is exaggerating your past just like mine and it feels so real and credible and it is truly horrendous feeling that is false. When you get anxious try breathing exercises and distraction techniques. One thing that also helped is say to yourself... At this moment I am ok .

little blue

Date posted: 6y

That's something my therapist has repeatedly been telling me too - that I have to forgive myself. It's so hard. I think we hold ourselves to a perfect standard that we'll never reach. Distracting myself is all that works but living distraction to distraction is no way to live. I wish I could feel good about myself and be proud of all of my words and actions in the past so that I could let my mind wander without the paranoia cycle starting, you know?

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

@yoko oh noooo I completely feel you I really do, but you dont need to feel proud about your past one bit just forgive yourself acknowledge it and move onwards step by step. I really do understand this predicament as it still comes and goes with me but in order to try and move on I had draw a line in the sand almost a foundation to build on piece by piece, some times the wind will knock a piece off and you have to reattach it but at least you know where it came from.

awkwardbunny

Date posted: 6y

You just described me to a T.

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