- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yup. That's how my day goes too
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes! This is me in a nutshell except I have the same real event stuck on loop. It’s an event from my teenage years that popped into my head and I can’t let it go. I’m 31 now. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this theme as well. It’s really challenging, even with ERP. What’s helping me a little is something I read that goes like this “I acknowledge this thought, but I’m not going to think about it anymore” each time the obsession pops up (I know it’s constant, mine is too :/ but this is used to interfere with the ruminating which is the main thing keeping our obsessions so alive and intense.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
i'm so sorry that you have to deal with that :( how long have you been stuck on that event? has it changed at all? stay strong, i hope you're doing better these days ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My current situation to, what I did do is try to forgive myself (which ocd didnt like so it must of helped) and from that point acknowledge when it pops in and focus on your next task. I would wager a bet that your brain is exaggerating your past just like mine and it feels so real and credible and it is truly horrendous feeling that is false. When you get anxious try breathing exercises and distraction techniques. One thing that also helped is say to yourself... At this moment I am ok .
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That's something my therapist has repeatedly been telling me too - that I have to forgive myself. It's so hard. I think we hold ourselves to a perfect standard that we'll never reach. Distracting myself is all that works but living distraction to distraction is no way to live. I wish I could feel good about myself and be proud of all of my words and actions in the past so that I could let my mind wander without the paranoia cycle starting, you know?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@yoko oh noooo I completely feel you I really do, but you dont need to feel proud about your past one bit just forgive yourself acknowledge it and move onwards step by step. I really do understand this predicament as it still comes and goes with me but in order to try and move on I had draw a line in the sand almost a foundation to build on piece by piece, some times the wind will knock a piece off and you have to reattach it but at least you know where it came from.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You just described me to a T.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
- Mid-life adults with OCD
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- Date posted
- 13w ago
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
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