I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?
It's common with ROCD. Do you have a therapist to help with this? They can also see if it's something to do with attachment styles too in order to challenge or sit with such thoughts. It's a common thought that pops up randomly even if I'm single (like who is it telling me to break up now, with my cat?????) Because it's a twisted unrefined way of the brain going "how can I protect you today" when it really should be "how can I love you today". Asking how you can love your girl friend today also can be very sweet and a different experience especially if they follow the same practice too which makes life is about living with love rather than fear. Real fear of having to leave would be real duress such as the person is physical hurting you or coming at you with "how can I hurt you today" and not about like small arguments, it's big ones like they steal money, don't apologize, etc. Because any relationship can be fixed even if they argue all the time, but only if both parties are in it to fix it. So if the fear is not clear it's okay to explore with a therapist if talking with the girlfriend can't seem to be civil (asking for reassurance or evidence more than once)
I'm waiting on a therapist through my work's EAP.. I just get this intense back pain all day now if I ignore the thought of breaking up. Everything with her is going well. Very well. I'm not even sure why I would want to leave her
@Ferrety The body can show up physical pain from coincidence, superstitions, and OCD. My back pain belief was from eating chicken because it was happening to my family members. In reality we were laying in bed too long and needed to stand and move more because the back muscles were atrophy lol. My ROCD was literally causing me to fall asleep and sleep doctor diagnosed me with hypersomnia (is like narcolepsy but I have a few moments to move my muscles before falling asleep without injury) but my recent therapist showed me it was from any stress and how to stay awake by sitting in the stress. The brain can want to find an answer so bad it reacts in the body because if the pent up energy it injures itself but only to the state of inconvenience. It can be just the ROCD or attachment style trying to tie it to hidden unconscious unresolved past relationships or horror stories you witnessed of a relationship not working out so it's hitting the "abort mission" button because there's no human handbook about this. Some people rush into even marriage or leave a marriage just because the alarm goes off. Society also hasn't been a good teacher of "listen to your intuition" so most people idea and using intuition had bit been practiced or maintained to be reliable and instead uses the nervous system as the back up generator. Yet that is using any story after it ever happened to you or not or right now because most brains can't tell the difference between real or made up stories (that's why there's are arrogant people or people still afraid of the dark still). Tuition is more gentle and easier to listen to than a 911 siren lockdown while punching you right in the back. Hopefully the therapist can help with cutting it down to bite size ideas to really make sense of things before making major decisions.
To add to it. When I fight the urge. I spend days with intense back pain
I know i don't want to leave her. So is that an indicator that I shouldn't for now? I've been ruminating for days and looking up things everywhere.. none of it is helping
Any anxiety is an indicator to not make any decision as it's not with a calmer mind. The feelings of anxious may still exist yet on a low intensity in order for the brain to assess and digest what is happening in the moment. That's why it feels pulled apart or not enough when one is relying on logic only because anxiety doesn't need a reason to run. It's the same way people yell run and some people run as if they are being chased without ever knowing what and why they were told to run, and some literally go seek what it is first before deciding to run. Both have different consequences so it's up to the individual to know themselves enough to decide in that specific situation what they are willing to live with rather than what's necessary. Anxiety ignores risk and cost ratio so that's why until you get a professional to help put your thoughts on paper and guide to keep in your lane of who you want to be rather than fleeting feelings or other ideas that aren't really your beliefs. Similar to Inside Out, if you haven't watched it is pretty insightful for both the first and especially the second movie.
A gentle helpful technique that helps me get through the bad episodes is 'am I going to do it RIGHT NOW? No. Ok I'll check back in later' and slowly making that time frame bigger and bigger coz it distracts you from the urgency of the ocd saying 'ACT'
It all started when I was in the produce department with her on Friday. I looked over during my first panic attack I've ever felt and I saw her face. Since then I'm super anxious around her and I have so much stress when near her or her things. That's when the first thought of "I should break up with her"happened. I've been fighting it since because I don't want to, just now I'm anxious around her and I feel like I don't have feelings suddenly.
i couldn't take this anymore. maybe i'll just let ocd win this time. it's too hard to not have a clear conscience everytime i'm with my bf cuz my mind is telling me i'm unfaithful and don't deserve to be happy. i feel like i'll never get better anymore. i already told myself many times to stop attracting attention from other people especially to people i'm having false attraction to. but i did it again yesterday, right after i smiled a little extra in front of that girl i might be attracted to i could feel the massive anxiety in my chest. already decided last week that i might be actually attracted to her so it's best to fully avoid her. i avoided her with the best i could, but we're in the same classroom and i saw her in my peripheral vision looking at us (my bf and i) whispered to myself not to make any mistake i'll regret, but then i felt like i lose control and laugh a little extra. i searched micro cheating and it says there "trying to impress someone you're attracted to" and now i want to break up with my bf. the guilt is too strong. i couldn't sleep at night.
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
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