I feel so humiliated

Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.

Young adults with OCD

RaRaRa

Date posted: 28d ago

They're not real family, what a Shame of mother she is! You aren't exaggerating or making symptoms, those fears are very valid, you aren't an abuser, you are a victim, your mom is supposed to make their kid feels safe and she's falling at that I'm sorry you experienced that! Your family isn't suffering because of you, they're abusers

r.m.1

Date posted: 27d ago

I’m sorry this happened to you. It feels horrible to be alone. A positive to come from it may be seeing how your OCD is lying and controlling to you. I don’t know your mother but it seems like she was trying to snap you out of it by shaming you for your fears and what she seems as “overreacting”. There came a time where I had to stop going to people when I had panic and just sit with it alone. It is incredibly hard at first but it gets sooo much easier and then there isn’t the fallout of doing compulsions and being embarrassed from freaking out to others. OCD wants you to think you need other people to rescue you and that you can’t handle the emotions…. But you can. Sitting with them by yourself (for however long you can tolerate) will actually help lesson the anxiety and the panic that you feel for someone else to fix the emotions- they will subside on their own

rainbows

Date posted: 28d ago

I’m sorry that your mom did this to you and treated you this way. It was really far of her to say that or think that way and I’m sorry that you went through that but it’s not fair to you, you did not at all deserve that and I’m sorry🫂 you feeling humiliated is valid and I can understand where you’re coming from. If you think it’s annoying then I guess everyone can be considered “annoying” during panic attacks haha😅 even me too but let’s not call it annoying, let’s just rephrase it as your body trying it’s best to keep you safe and putting you in flight or fight mode as they call it and you needing or doing anything at all to feel safe, whether it’s through asking reassurance and so which is just human behaviour ( I’m not an expert so I might not be 100% accurate 😓 ) even I’m “annoying” too during my panic attacks! I panic, I can’t breathe, a knot in my stomach, jaw clenched, heart feels weird and it’s kinda like you would do anything to escape the feeling but it weighs on you heavy and then there’s more thoughts that make it worst. Sometimes it feels like a cold bucket of water is being poured down on you and you just feel frozen.

rainbows

Date posted: 28d ago

@rainbows I’m sorry that this happened to you honestly and hope your mom can come around and apologise to you. I hope you’ll be okay. I’m really sorry😕 if you need anything , always here for you 🫶 all of us.

r.m.1

Date posted: 27d ago

Also distress tolerance skills can help with panic and you have power to do those yourself- running, splashing your face with cold water, squeezing an ice cube- anything that would be a new/strange/extreme sensation to your nervous system can really help with the onset and extension of panic attacks

malolin_21

Date posted: 19w ago

Hey:) I just want to vent

I’m feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. I’m 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(we’re just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldn’t be able to return back at night, also it’s either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldn’t let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like I’m stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know it’s hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So that’s it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress she’s carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk it’s hard (also I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this cause it’s all my fault) 🫤

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w ago

My partners mad because of my OCD

Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:

frannyb

Date posted: 14w ago

I can't do this anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

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I feel so humiliated

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