I feel so humiliated

Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.

Young adults with OCD

RaRaRa

Date posted: 4d ago

They're not real family, what a Shame of mother she is! You aren't exaggerating or making symptoms, those fears are very valid, you aren't an abuser, you are a victim, your mom is supposed to make their kid feels safe and she's falling at that I'm sorry you experienced that! Your family isn't suffering because of you, they're abusers

rainbows

Date posted: 4d ago

I’m sorry that your mom did this to you and treated you this way. It was really far of her to say that or think that way and I’m sorry that you went through that but it’s not fair to you, you did not at all deserve that and I’m sorry🫂 you feeling humiliated is valid and I can understand where you’re coming from. If you think it’s annoying then I guess everyone can be considered “annoying” during panic attacks haha😅 even me too but let’s not call it annoying, let’s just rephrase it as your body trying it’s best to keep you safe and putting you in flight or fight mode as they call it and you needing or doing anything at all to feel safe, whether it’s through asking reassurance and so which is just human behaviour ( I’m not an expert so I might not be 100% accurate 😓 ) even I’m “annoying” too during my panic attacks! I panic, I can’t breathe, a knot in my stomach, jaw clenched, heart feels weird and it’s kinda like you would do anything to escape the feeling but it weighs on you heavy and then there’s more thoughts that make it worst. Sometimes it feels like a cold bucket of water is being poured down on you and you just feel frozen.

rainbows

Date posted: 4d ago

@rainbows I’m sorry that this happened to you honestly and hope your mom can come around and apologise to you. I hope you’ll be okay. I’m really sorry😕 if you need anything , always here for you 🫶 all of us.

r.m.1

Date posted: 4d ago

I’m sorry this happened to you. It feels horrible to be alone. A positive to come from it may be seeing how your OCD is lying and controlling to you. I don’t know your mother but it seems like she was trying to snap you out of it by shaming you for your fears and what she seems as “overreacting”. There came a time where I had to stop going to people when I had panic and just sit with it alone. It is incredibly hard at first but it gets sooo much easier and then there isn’t the fallout of doing compulsions and being embarrassed from freaking out to others. OCD wants you to think you need other people to rescue you and that you can’t handle the emotions…. But you can. Sitting with them by yourself (for however long you can tolerate) will actually help lesson the anxiety and the panic that you feel for someone else to fix the emotions- they will subside on their own

r.m.1

Date posted: 4d ago

Also distress tolerance skills can help with panic and you have power to do those yourself- running, splashing your face with cold water, squeezing an ice cube- anything that would be a new/strange/extreme sensation to your nervous system can really help with the onset and extension of panic attacks

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 19w ago

Struggling mama losing hope

I’ve been dealing with a really bad flare up the last 2 weeks and i’ve been dealing with ocd on and off for years. I was finally feeling better today, So of course my ocd decided to bring up an old intrusive thought that was really upsetting and now i’m stuck on it again. The reason why I struggle so much to conquer my ocd is because I developed ocd as postpartum so my ocd targets my kids, the ones that mean everything to me. The intrusive thoughts range from mild to really disturbing. While I know deep down the intrusive thoughts aren’t true or me, the ocd makes it feel SO real and true which makes me feel like I HAVE to disprove the thoughts and with confidence but the ocd won’t let me. It also makes me question analyze and judge everything I do. It’s an endless cycle of pain and I just want to be a mom without ocd telling me i’m a horrible person all day every day. 😪

Northern_Dow...

Date posted: 18w ago

Feeling defeated.

I'm so tired 😭 I've been dealing with severe trans ocd for a month. My ocd is making me worry I'm a trans man. The thing is. I'm already out as nonbinary. I also compulsively confessed to my mom and told her I'm anxious I'll realize I'm a trans man and that I'm scared she'll hate me/abandon me. And she told me she would support me through it and my life even if she didn't understand it and that she wouldn't abandon me. I do like some masculine terms and I like he pronouns, I prefer they/them though. And I don't mind she, but I dont let people use it because I know they'll use it to misgender me. and that doesnt mean im a man. But I also don't know what I actually like/feel or what's OCD making me think I like/feel.. I can't stop ruminating and feeling like I need to label my gender pass nonbinary and think about if I feel like a man or not. So even when my biggest fear was denied I'm still anxious.

Sage._

Date posted: 15w ago

I don't think I can handle my ocd anymore

I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.

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I feel so humiliated

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