hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

This gonna be so cringy but anyone else just not feeling vibes no more? Like imagine its dark outside and its raining and u listeninn to music? That shit used to feel like the shit but now its just anxious and not comfy and cozy at all. Or like long carrides where you just listen to music and like imagine scenarios that will never come true? All that i cant feel anymore. Its just emptyness, im just debating wether im gay or not the whole time so like my carrides are filled with anxiety instead of the chilness.It all gives me major anxiety trying to be like who i used to be but deep inside i know its not genuine. I wish it was real and i could just feel vibes again like summer vibes or when ur hangingn with friend vibes. I dont even feel the christmas vibe anymore u kno its just all so dark. Like is this ever going to come back? I really want it back.

Sexual Orientation OCD

AdversWarrior

Date posted: 5y

I can relate to this to a certain degree, its important that we become aware of this and start working on it ASAP, losing interest and excitement for things we used to enjoy is a symptom of depression, I dont want to make anyone overtly worried, but just be aware of your feelings guys, lets all work out damnest to be the best versions of ourselves we can be! We can get through this and we will!

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

I know but how tho? How do i get the joy from the little things back without forcing it? Its about feeling it i csnt force the feeling bevause that not natural and for me thst will cause anxiety because i csnt handle when i dont feel things genuinely

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

SAME SAME GIRL OMG. My friends and I usually sit around and watch movies on Fridays and that was THE SHIT. Omg the vibe was so goooood like just me and my mates chilling with the fireplace watching a movie and it’s especially amazing on Christmas cause the vibe is so cozy and comfortable. And last week I couldn’t even get into it omg. I was panicking like crazy because I thought I’d never be happy again

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

Ugh i feel you (my nocd app acting up so i see all my notifications days later :( ) i hate it soo much to. My sister and i alwayd did this harry potter marathon in the winter and like this year shes all excited again like she used to be but im a whole nother perosn like im living in an alternative world where theres no happiness and cozyness and i wish i could match with her excitemend but all i can do is be anxioys

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@hocdgirlsummer I can relate to this soo much. I just hope my Christmas isn’t ruined because I LOVE Christmas

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

This is so spot on. I used to be such a happy going person who is always laughing and now everything and I mean everything is so dark and numb. Like I am just nothing.

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

Period. I hope for you to get out of this state and feel things genuinely and naturally again. Its so hard like this i feel like it takes the meaning ofmy life away. Like im jusr floating around jn this world and being numb is all i can do. Know ur not alone! I suffer what you suffer and we both gotta get trough

AdversWarrior

Date posted: 5y

Also one of the things I do to fight this is to pick up an interest I used to have years ago and hadn't indulged in for a long time, sometimes when things seem routine they can lose their magic. I used to really like watching anime but after high school I kind of stopped, now that I'm going through a kind of rough time I started watching it again and it really helps me. Try to break from your routine once in a while! Go to a new coffee shop, a new Restaurant, a Museum a Park, anything that can help you out of this loop!

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

Hey! Thank you for the tip:) i will try this. I have been trying it but for me its more thst the oversll thing loses its magic. Like imagine makeup used to be my biggest passion but thst lost its magic but right before hocd fsshion was my passion and i lost it too. Its like evrything i try to enjoy and be excited over loses its sparkle. I really appreciate ur comment snd help and i will try it out becsuse trying will never do wrong :)

ocdsucksbutt

Date posted: 5y

This has literally been me. These thoughts have developed into incredibly suffering emotion, I feel like a bottle with everything holding inside of me, while everything on the outside is having the best time while I can’t feel it. I don’t feel any sorts of happiness. At all. This is so bad I’m sorry we all have to go through this. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t get in touch with a therapist due to many reasons, which further crushes my hopes of becoming better.

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

I can 100% relate trust me. Like u explained thst spot on snd know that ur not alone. It feels comforting to hear thst im not alone in feeling these weird feelings. I always think that if i got this bad and this fcked up in a year, it has tk be possible to switxh back in a year or more too righ??

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 5y

By the way, same i cant get a therapist. Im 17, they hella expensive, the waiting list in my country is about 1-3 years long... i have to fight this shit on my own

Northern_Dow...

Date posted: 24w

Missing when I felt ok.

I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.

geodrimilis

Date posted: 23w

My life is over

I won’t explain this again if you’ve been or going through it you know what I’m talking about. I felt good about women about an hour ago and now I’m worrying again I’m anxious and the groinals are back and it’s so annoying because I can’t study. And honestly I’m so sick and tired of this. I’ve been a girl crazy my whole life and my mind randomly decides “well what if you are gay” like bro. I’ve never seen a guy that way and in general IT WAS NEVER SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABOUT OR ASSOCIATED MYSELF WITH. IVE NEVER FELT ANYTHING TOWARDS A MAN AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE IT RANDOMLY FLIPPED. I CANT DO THIS BRO. WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN IVE BEEN GOING THROUGH INSECURITIES ALREADY AND MY ATTRACTION WAS THE ONLY REAL THING I HAD LEFT AND NOW THIS. HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE ME GOD.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

I feel so different from others

I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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