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I understand that's very normal remember it's not you it's in your mind. And a bad person wouldn't be bothered or a specific person related to your specific ocd theme wouldn't be bothered by them thoughts or concerns seeing that you're concerned and you know them thoughts etc are wrong explains it all.

@sanshine Of course friend. You are not alone. This soon will pass!

You're a good person and dont let your mind or anyone convince you otherwise😊

@sanshine Of course friend!! You will be an amazing aunt and mom!

@chillassassin18 Could I please ask for some support on Pocd if you’re 18+ please? I’m struggling so much and just feel so horrible like I’m a monster

@YellowGirraffe09 Sure, tell me about it

@chillassassin18 I agree with you!

@chillassassin18 Could I please ask for some support on Pocd if you’re 18+ please? I’m struggling so much and just feel so horrible like I’m a monster

@sanshine Of course that's why we are all here to try to help one another 😊

I'm sorry are you referring to me?😮

@chillassassin18 No friend! Not at all! I was saying the person posting wasn't a bad person! She's supported me on my posts before

@chillassassin18 Although I'd love to get support from you on one of my posts as well. I just don't want to take from this person's

@Anony1314 Ah I'm sorry about that I must of misread 🙃😬

@chillassassin18 It's okay! Could I get some support from you if this person doesn't mind?

@Anony1314 Sure what would need help with?

@chillassassin18 I've not sought reassurance on here for a good week, but I'm struggling today. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. Could someone just give me some support?

@chillassassin18 Sorry did you see my response under here

@Anony1314 Definitely sounds like the medication could of affected your ocd have you spoken to your therapist/physiatrist about the effects?

@chillassassin18 Yes I have spoke with my therapist about it. Am I a bad person? Do I deserve to be a mom?

@chillassassin18 I'm sorry for asking

@chillassassin18 Sorry again.

@Anony1314 You're absolutely not a bad person just like I told sanshine a bad person wouldn't care or be worried about the bad thought they've had, they would think and believe it's okay, but you are concerned and worried and feel anxiety bad about them thoughts so that show you dont want to do them things and know they're wrong and only a good person would recognize that.

@Anony1314 No need

@Anony1314 Why are you sorry

@sanshine Thank you so much friend. Even though the elbow movement was intentional due to the thoughts I was having? I'm still a good mom?

@chillassassin18 Thank you friend. I was saying sorry because I didn't want you to feel obligated to respond and sorry for asking questions. Mine were more than just the thought is what terrifies me. I just want to be a good mom friend

@sanshine Thanks friend. My mind tells me different. It tells me I wanted to do this to cause a feeling. Idk why. But that's what it told me when it happened. It scared me. Does that make me a bad person? Sorry for all the questions!

@sanshine Like it felt very wanted in the moment and almost intentional, and that's what is so scary to me you know. Like my mind said "you might as well do something else", "you are already going to jail", "you finally get to do what you always wanted". Just terrible. Scary. Idk why I let my mind go that far

@sanshine Thank you friend I've commented again sorry for all the questions!!

@sanshine @sanshine Like it felt very wanted in the moment and almost intentional, and that's what is so scary to me you know. Like my mind said "you might as well do something else", "you are already going to jail", "you finally get to do what you always wanted". Just terrible. Scary. Idk why I let my mind go that far

@sanshine Thank you friend. So even though these feelings felt 100% real, they still aren't right? And I'm sorry you are dealing with the same problem now!

@sanshine Sorry for commenting so many times under your post.

@sanshine Nope I NEVER EVER want to do that again! My mind just told me I had nothing to lose and might as well do something I wanted. In the moment, it really felt like I wanted to do that. It's terrifying to me now!

@sanshine I'm sorry for commenting so much

@sanshine THANK YOU!! You are amazing my friend. Simply AMAZING

@Anony1314 Could I please ask for some support on Pocd if you’re 18+ please? I’m struggling so much and just feel so horrible like I’m a monster

No. Your ocd made you believe you wanted to bump him not you simply because you are bothered and triggered by it and ocd specific uses what we fear against us it's a very tricky cunning disorder

@sanshine That's your obsessive thought convincing you did it intentionally and wanted to. Because you actually did intentionally want to you wouldn't feel bad about it

@sanshine You swear friend? Because I feel as though I moved him back because I wasn't consciously thinking but for the feeling to come again. It's debilitated me

@sanshine Thanks friend. Some people haven't been so kind, but I appreciate you!

@sanshine Thank you friend