Curious question about false attraction

@krelia I don’t feel like me at all. Like it’s stolen my life away since all this started.

@krelia Me too! I would get really bad anxiety and panic attacks but as the spiral has gone on, I feel very off, not myself, and like now everything about me is different. Now I’m questioning if I ever knew myself. I go to test my previous fantasies and even those feel off. I don’t want to date women so this is even more confusing because I keep thinking why don’t I feel like myself then??

@What is happening to me I also feel like every woman I look at is attractive when before I never analyzed anything that closely. It’s super uncomfortable

@TexasOCD41 I am a man and never in my life thought another man was attractive. Before all this SOOCD, I was woman crazy. Loved everything about a female.

@What is happening to me Ohh lol then yeah that would qualify as false attraction. My b.

@TexasOCD41 Haha no problem. I probably didn’t make it clear

@What is happening to me - Alright so, as a 20+ year vet of OCD, ill give you my advice. OCD doesn't listen to reason, it doesn't care that you are straight, woman crazy. It will always find a way to make you say " but what if?" and that's where the obsession lies. SO/OCD- a.k.a. False attraction can be treated with ERP, expose yourself and prevent doing compulsions. A part of the exposure part is accepting that perhaps you do find the same sex attractive. HOLD UP! DONT PANIC! its not as bad as you think. I have noticed that while this is difficult for both genders, it seems to be extra difficult for males, so i have considered some.... mental loopholes to help you accept this seemingly controversial thought. When you see a good look man, just acknowledge it. Say in your head " yep, he has good genetics, I bet lots of woman go for him." This way you are acknowledging that you find him attractive while also keeping that boundary set that YOU are not ATTRCTED TO him. OCD blurs those lines. I am a woman married to a man... but i STARE at some women.. especially in the gym, i look up and DOWN their body, i admire the waist, the arms, the butt ( ugh to butt) and i appreciate it, I'm not attracted TO THEM, but i can hand on the bible admit they are very attractive women. I believe your OCD is creating such anxiety in you that it had decided to make you think that appreciate of a decent looking person equals sexual attraction and that has triggered this obsession in you. So try to just play the game that OCD is terrible at, which is radical acceptance. OCD tells you you think a guy is attractive? then you say " sure, he is, and that's important to me how? oh that's right, its not.. fake news, moving on"

@TexasOCD41 Thank you very much for the advice. I really appreciate it. Before all this I could say that male could be good looking but now I hate the thought/feeling. When this first hit me, I felt my body rush with anxiety/fear. At first every male of every age I had this horrible rush of attraction which made me shake and feel sick. Even cartoon characters and voices! I use to love music and movies, now I battle through them. I also lost the attraction to females (preferred gender) that comes back every so often when I don’t seek it but not how it used to be. This I hate just as much as the false attraction as a married man who’s been with my wonderful wife over 14years. It’s taken everything from me.

@What is happening to me - I understand how hard it feels. I felt like i lost everything too when my False Memory OCD hit me last summer. Let me tell you tho, everything OCD takes, you can 100% get back. With some mental elbow grease and a few weeks, perhaps a few months of work, you CAN go back to normal. That rush of anxiety you get, that is from the brain going into unnecessary fight or flight. For what ever reason, OCD makes us go into FOF over TOTALY trivial matters, but that anxiety is actually where the problem lies, NOT the thoughts of false attraction. OCD is ACTUALLY a feeling disorder, NOT a thought disorder. The simple fact is, EVERY ONE has the thoughts you do. Like i mentioned, i have a level of attraction to women, I have had male friends tell me about having "man crushes" on male actors and they were VERY much straight as can be. So you see? your thoughts are not unusual, its the way your body is making you respond to them irrationally. So, now that you have a better understanding of the origin of OCDs problem, the thoughts should stop bothering you right? if only it were that simple, but just becuase OCD cant be seen on a doctors exam, doesn't mean its not a very physical condition. Brain scans done on people in active OCD show the amegdalya lit up like a Christmas tree while the frontal cortex is lights off, no one is home. This is significant because the front cortex is where logic and rational thinking happen, the amegdalya is where our basic reptile functions to keep us alive happen, (fight or flight). for reasons scientists are still trying to figure out, OCD causes the logic part to shut down from reduced blood flow and the reptile part to get a rush of blood... The good news? the brain, while stubborn, can be re-trained. its called neuro-placisity (probably spelling a lot wrong here lol sorry) but!, you can train your brain to re-direct that blood back to logic and away from irrational/emotional. ALSO, you did NOT lose attraction to females. In a similar way that OCD changes the brains blood flow patterns, sexual desire and attraction depends on mood, and when the body THINKS its is in fight or flight, it takes blood away from the areas of the brain responsible for sex. ( if you are being chased by a lion, you need all your resources going to keeping you alive, making sweet love gets put on hold until the danger is gone). So when your brain is making you think you are in danger, biology makes you shut down simple pleasures. SO no loss of attraction, just your body being totally dumb and thinking lions are chasing you. Do you know about ERP? have you been able to consider medication? what tools do you have available to you to treat this?

@TexasOCD41 Thank you so much explaining this all in detail. I understand everything what you said which I did this in a university degree but it just feels so hard when it’s you. I try to come to my senses, agreeing with OCD or which I mean accepting the uncertainty Beth why does it feel so difficult? Once I try to accept the uncertainty, part of me says you don’t like it. The ‘false’ attraction, feelings, thoughts but why do I question it then? If I do like this then be happy with acceptance. Though I think I’ve just explained ‘OCD’. Just so difficult when months ago I was a happy married man to an amazing wife with kids. I am on Zoloft (25mg) now but have no access to therapy. On NOCD is too expensive. I think I know how to ERP with the amount of videos I’ve watched but it’s just so frustrating. Thank you once again for the kind words, don’t worry about the spelling, think you did an amazing job but I’m very dyslexic anyways haha.