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The Bible says that when we believed in him, we were sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14) nothing can undo that seal friend. And OCD thoughts aren’t your fault and Jesus knows that. We are saved by Grace, not because we earn anything, we are all sinners and saved only by the blood of Jesus. Nobody can lose their salvation ever no matter what they do because Jesus paid for ALL your sins past present and future. And your OCD isn’t even your fault, it’s an unfortunate mental illness that we all have. Jesus is with you, he will never leave you or forsake you.

I'm not a priest or minister, so I have no business commenting on your decision. All I can offer is that I, too, have dealt with religious OCD. After receiving therapy from a trained OCD therapist, I grew to understand that these intrusive thoughts come from the OCD disorder, not from something I intend. I also believe that God understands this, with much more clarity than I. With this in mind, I still practice my religion, even when I have intrusive thoughts.

God will always love you. He doesnt care about your mistakes. He cares about how you feel... how your doing... how your going to continue to live in a world full of wonder and happiness...

I deal with this too. What keeps me going is knowing that was much as we change through time, morals, character, etc., God never does. He's still the loving and forgiving God he is. Of course we need to be the best version of ourselves we can be, but it's never too late to build or re-build a relationship with Him. You have all my support🙏

I am currently in the same position with feeling cut off, like something bad is going to happen to me for the intrusive thoughts. We have to cling to the promise, Jesus will never give up on you. We don’t have to be spotless when we come to Jesus, He wants us to bring all of the baggage on our journey. As we go through life, we realize that He has always been with us and has carried our baggage. You’re not alone and most of all you are loved, no matter what.