Just trying to accept the uncertainty and move on.... I don't want to be bad.... I want to be a good person.... But I feel like a bad person sometimes I get horribly disgusting thoughts when I'm angry and think the most horrendous things
I dont want ti be a bad person either... i dont want to ever be what my pocd says about me... im so triggered by my POCD situation...
Same omg
Do y'all think maybe because we have OCD our thoughts affect us so much more? Sometimes I wonder if I didn't have OCD maybe I'd be able to move on from a situation much quicker ššš
@sanshine Idk... im sorry if i cant respond properly... i posted about my pocd situation with the full context... im just so triggered and anxious rn...
@Givenup I've read ur situation a number of times... I promise ur not a bad person at all and u really didn't do anything wrong. Ur brain is absolutely terrorizing u rn, but what it's telling you is not true. U need to tell ur mean brain to shut up cuz it's lying to u. Say " OCD, ur not me. I'm a good person and all u do is lie." Because that's the truth. I'm trying to move on from my situation which would be 100000x worse than urs if it was true . At the end of the day all we can do is accept the uncertainty and move on and be the best people we can possibly be. I believe in u. Again, ur not a bad person š»
@sanshine THE FULL CONTEXT: The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... the other one was younger... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... she said I was a bad person for voting for someone and it got me anxious so i vented to her again (the 2nd time) and she said that she was uncomfortable by it again and I blocked her after... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... Im so triggered and anxious...
@sanshine This is the full context... im sorry for posting it but im so triggered
@sanshine I hope you can respond...
@Givenup Ur still not a bad person. My perspective on u hasn't changed. However, ur not going to feel better depending on how others see u. U need to be kinder to urself or you might be stick on this for a while. U deserve to be happy u deserve to let this go. U r ok and not a bad person. Please work in being kinder to urself and work also on saying good things to urself. When u are willing to give urself love and kindness, u will start healing. U deserve to heal. U will be ok š»
@sanshine Im sorry... im just so triggered by this... Ive had someone say that I should turn myself in before because of this story... so its been a hard journey for me...
@Givenup Whoever said that was wrong and for ur sake please don't believe that. People say mean things when they're full of emotion it doesn't mean it's true. U got to start advocating for yourself. Ur very strong and ur a good person. But u need to start believing those things so u can heal and live the good life u deserve.š»
I feel guilty for sometimes wishing that bad things werenāt bad. Itās such an OCD-driven thought processāif they werenāt bad, I wouldnāt have to fear them. Itās like wishing morality didnāt exist, just so everything would be acceptable. But then I feel guilty for even thinking that. I donāt think I actually want that, I just want this to be easier. The bad thingsāviolence, pedophilia, incestāneed to stay bad. But Iām scared. Scared that my anxiety is the only thing stopping me from doing something terrible. Scared that I donāt actually have morals, just a fear of social judgment. If there were no consequences, no stigma, would I lose control? Would I become someone awful? Do I fear *being* a bad person, or just *being seen* as one? Today was an easier day, but still a hard one.
I hit the SOS, and Iām just scared. If I sit with the uncertainty, then I could honestly sit here all day crying. I just canāt accept Iām not a bad person and ruined my relationship, no matter how much grace I give myself. What makes me feel better is knowing that Iām not a bad person, and trying to rationalize my mistakes - understanding everyone makes them. But then it feels like i canāt validate my good feelings because itās ābadā and I should just accept I COULD be a bad person. It honestly sends me into a full panic. Please help!!!!!!
I need tips on how to really accept the uncertainty the ocd causes, even if it feels so bad like I might get in trouble for something , do I wanna be okay with that?
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