Triciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
How wild. ✌❤Same town. I'm in Northridge. I seeing a really great ocd therapist. Anthony Bishop ocd center of woodland Hills. I was desperate when I saw him ( 4 months in therapy) I'm much better.
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Aw neighbors lol! That’s so awesome, I’m happy you were able to get help and feel better. It give me hope to hear that other people have felt better. I will look into them as well :)
rachelrocks7rachelrocks7
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don't live in that area so I can't help with your request but I hope that you end up finding some great help and get on a healthy track soon!! I believe in you!! :)
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much! It means a lot ❤️
brynquinbrynquin
- Date posted
- 5y ago
WOW having the exact same problem with Kaiser. I had to explain to my therapist the difference between “thoughts of harming someone else” and instrusive, obsessive thoughts about harm. Out of the three therapists I’ve worked with from there, I had to explain that OCD isn’t just being clean and organized. :/
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m so sorry you’ve had the same experience. It’s unbelievable that they don’t have basic knowledge of it. I also had to explain to multiple “professionals” what harm OCD even is. For almost a year I didn’t know what I had because none of them could tell me what was wrong. They made it worse making me feel like I was a violent person. I thought I was going crazy until I searched myself for what was wrong. You are not alone in this or with struggling with Harm OCD. I really hope you get the help you need. I’ve been pushing them really hard and might file a grievance with Kaiser if needed. Just keep pushing, I sincerely hope you can get the help needed and feel better! You deserve to be heard and helped!
brynquinbrynquin
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Triciaaa Hey I’m in Southern California as well- if we both file a grievance about mental health professionals not being properly trained with OCD, that might make some sort of progress?
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@brynquin That’s a great idea! Especially since we’re in the same part of California. Once I get a proper diagnosis from someone else with OCD I’m also going to file a formal complaint against my psychiatrist who isn’t properly educated, wouldn’t help me, or believe me about it. When I called the greviance phone number, they said we have to have evidence to why we’re submitting it like a diagnosis or anything like that. I guess the greviance board and they review it, so that’s why. It’s SO frustrating that we even have to do that to get help ?
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Tricia- go to the OCD center of los Angeles!!! What part of town?
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much for the recommendation! My husband also found them, but they had mixed reviews so I was conflicted. It’s worth giving them a try though. I’m on the east side sort of by Highland Park.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Triciaaa Try them! They’re good in my experience. They are well versed in harm ocd.
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@pureolife I’m glad you have had a good experience with them. I will definitely give them a try! I will try anything really at this point.
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Wow. Thank you for sharing. I mean it!! I can't people because they wouldn't understand. I basically left my teaching job due to severe burnout. I had never really been an anxious person but I just started feeling anxious and depressed. Not myself at all. I felt so guilty leaving mid year. I had a thought that the parents Would think I was a terrible person for leaving. A criminal offense! Or even a pedophile!! It's been hell. ? the intrusive thoughts kept coming. Sometimes I have driving fears. I may run someone over. I too have never broke the law and for some reason think I was a criminal. It's awful I'm a mild mannered kind hearted woman. Maybe inappropriate but I'd love to meet you for coffee sometime. It's so darn isolating..
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I think it would be great ERP.. If your open I'm kinda excited to actually talk to someone face to face with this disorder. There's a coffee bean on hillhurst. It's directly across from lasens health food store. I could meet this afternoon or any day. I'm not working right now.
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes. I'm open. Let me know.
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Perfect!!! We can help one another recover. So tomorrow at 2 I'll wait for your response. ✌❤
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oops, I didn’t mean to select trigger warning for this post :/
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It's too bad we can't meet face to face. This is weird stuff to go through. May I ask how it came on for you?
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know, it’s super weird and exhausting. For me, it was just an unfortunate combination of events. I was on a camping trip with my husband and one of the nights I got upset with him because I felt super dizzy and faint for some reason, but he convinced me to stay out and go to a bar with him anyways. I also had strong coffee earlier in the day (which I greatly regret because caffeine and my anxiety don’t mix—I should know better). Anyways, we went back to our camper van to go to sleep. I still felt upset and had a thought like “ughhh I’m so upset I could strangle him right now”. Most people have violent thoughts at some point, but my brain started to spiral and got stuck on this loop of what if I do actually do that, I’m a bad person for having those thoughts, etc. and just this obsessive fear running through my mind the whole night. It didn’t help we were in a confined space and I couldn’t sleep because of the caffeine combined with the thoughts. So basically I’ve been stuck with these constant obsessive intrusive thoughts. I would do anything to make them go away, I don’t want them. It’s so isolating and debilitating because being around people triggers me especially when people get close or if I’m in a crowded place. I can’t even cuddle with him anymore, I face the other way, hide my hands under my pillow, and keep my phone far away from me (one of my intrusive unwanted fears is that I’ll hit him with it), I also always hold my hands together or crossed around people because I fear using them to hurt people. It’s just incredibly frustrating. How did it come for you? I’d love to hear your story as well.
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Triciaaa I’m sorry that was super long ??♀️ lol
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Triciaaa Oh also, right before we went on the trip we watched the movie about Ted Bundy and my husband was watching this show about women in prison (I’ve always had a fear of authority and getting in trouble) so I think that also triggered it. I felt intrusive thoughts of what if I’m like those people and what if I do something that makes me go to prison or gets me in trouble? I’ve also always loved horror movies and I can’t watch them anymore because they’re also a trigger ?
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much for sharing your story as well! It reallllly helps to feel less alone in this and I want to express that you are not alone in this as well. I’m so sorry you also have to deal with this and that it’s effecting your life so greatly. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and you don’t deserve to be having to go through this hell. I completely understand the thoughts you have and I also experience driving fears. I know what you mean by saying your mild mannered, that’s one of the hard parts around it for me. It feels completely not me. Not trying to reassure myself because I know that’s bad to do...but I’ve always been a very sweet, caring, and soft spoken person. I’ve never been violent or been arrested. I have a hard time even yelling at people (especially strangers—the only time I’ve done this is recently out of frustration and desperation trying to get help through my insurance). I relate so much to you saying you haven’t felt like yourself in all of this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve dealt with mentally out of all the years dealing with multiple disorders—it’s absolutely incomparable. I know I should be also saying this to myself, but you are so strong for being able to talk about it, reach out, and take it day by day. I’ve been trying to be proud of myself for little things everyday like getting out of bed, eating food, talking to people, etc. because it is so debilitating and triggers (at least for me) my anxiety and depression. I’d love to meet as well! It would be so nice to talk it out with someone who is also experiencing this. I just think I might have to get some help first because it might be a trigger for me to meet someone new. Being around people is so hard, even though I would really love to ??
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That’s true! I haven’t had ERP yet, I’m fighting my insurance to get it. However, I realize something like that would help. The Coffee Bean in Los Feliz? I might be able to meet today or tomorrow afternoon, I will let you know! It depends on how late I have to work today :/
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Actually, I have yoga tomorrow from 10:30 to 12pm and have to run an errand in Echo Park. I could meet after that especially since I will be closer to Los Feliz. I’m not sure if there’s a way on here to share phone numbers (I’m new to the app), but that might make it easier to plan ?
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So let's tomorrow at 2 at the coffee bean. To make it easy I'll meet out front..ill wear a plaid shirt. I have dark mid length hair. This is a new one. Lol
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Or I could meet at 1. Whatever works.
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That sounds great! I think 2 might be better if possible that way I’m not rushing :) I will also keep you updated.
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Are we still on for 2? Lunch?
TriciaaaTriciaaa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah! I’m excited to meet you ❣️ I’ll be wearing white pants w/circle pattern, “leather” jacket and also have mid length hair ?
flowerladyflowerlady
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Great. There are lots of places to eat..look foward to it. See you at 2
Related posts
flowerpetals
- Date posted
- 10w ago
frustrating
harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.
RachelBet
- Date posted
- 8w ago
OCD therapist versus not?
Hello! What a journey this ocd thing is! After 17 years with one therapist, I knew I was no longer making progress, so I changed to a new therapist. After just 6 months with her, she suggested I might have ocd and to look into getting diagnosed. She was right and I was diagnosed with ocd last summer. Meds are making a big difference but I still have lots of unlearning and re-learning to do. I’ve been struggling with whether or not to switch to a therapist who specializes in ocd. I have no issues with my current therapist, but she doesn’t specialize in ocd and I sometimes think I need someone who does specialize in it. But of course, I have Pure O, so I can think myself in circles til the cows come home. Can anyone share experience about switching to a therapist who specializes in ocd?
Becoming Whole
- Date posted
- 5w ago
OCD Is Telling Me I’m Being Harmed
I had blood work done for a test I was having a couple weeks ago. The phlebotomist hit my vein weird, my arm bled a lot, but eventually stopped. My arm is still sore several days later. The following week I had my bronchoscopy. The nurse used the same arm that was already sore to put in the IV for the meds. My arm started hurting, swelling and burning. I told her it hurt really bad but she ignored me; then I was out. It’s been a week and my arm still hurts, and my veins are tight and hard. Couple that with the white stuff all over my face, that nobody from the care team bothered to wipe off- which I didn’t know about until my husband asked me what it was, I got harm from my OCD! At first I chalked it up to the white stuff on my face was bad bedside manners. Now, I keep thinking that my doctors and everyone associated with the clinics are trying to harm me. This morning I had an incident with the fryer oven while toasting my bagel. I asked my husband about it and he says he didn’t notice anything. I was down to the last few bites of my bagel, and suddenly started feeling loopy. I spit it out and threw the rest away. After sitting awhile thinking of the doctors and phlebotomist etc… it dawned on me that it was my OCD telling me people were trying to harm me. I don’t know how to get over the fact that my arm hurts really bad and my doctor completely ignores my health concerns. I’ve been nauseous for the past two weeks or so - there is definitely something wrong! I think when they find out that you have OCD and/or Anxiety, they treat you differently, as if you’re making up the symptoms. I most certainly haven’t felt heard! My husband always says, what’s wrong now? It’s such a horrible feeling to hear him say that. Is this what you call Harm? Or is it associated with Harm? I’m not sure if this is triggering or not. I hope not.
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