- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
very much agreed with ilshid. im a lesbian through and through, but i definitely have "oh damn they're pretty" moments with men, too. the ability to tell when someone is attractive isn't linked to your sexual orientation. you may find women physically attractive, but that alone doesn't make you gay. if you feel like you would be depressed and unhappy in a relationship with a woman, that's pretty much the way to tell you wouldn't want to be with one imo.
- Date posted
- 5y
yea. it’s. it even so much as i’m attracted to them physically. i’m not attracted to women who look like women, at all. i notice when they are attractive, but i’m not attracted. it’s just the women who look verryyy much like guys that sometimes i’m attracted. but, and no offense to you i have nothing against it, it just seems weird and wrong FOR ME to do anything romantic or sexual with a woman
- Date posted
- 5y
@kaysf and I'd guess that's in much the same way that it feels depressing and uncomfortable for me to be romantic with men? i find feminine traits attractive regardless of gender, so you probably just find masculine traits attracting regardless of gender. these thoughts you're having are completely meaningless and, at the end of the day, even if you are gay, you can choose not to be with a woman if that's uncomfortable for you. we have free will for a reason
- Date posted
- 5y
@ocdumbass Yes, that's very reasonable but I guess it doesn't help someone who knows they are having unreasonable thoughts and doubts... Probably the best way to deal with it is the general suggestion about intrusive thoughts: Acknowledge that it crossed your mind but do not act on it, do not carry out any compulsions and don't try to reassure yourself. Just show your brain that the thought is harmless and that it does not have to react. Of course it's way easier said than done but all the advice I've read boils down to that same thing..
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- 5y
@? ilshid I’ve done that but problem is when you do this you still know that deep down something is wrong that’s what I struggle with Also because some things don’t make you anxious today but make you anxious the following day I would have sex today for example and feel great but feel like shit when I have it the following day because my mind is not like yesterday don’t know if I’m making sense
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- 5y
@Mod22 Kind of! If you're relaxed during sex one day and you're so preoccupied with it but no intrusive thoughts make their way into your mind, then it feels great. But then you have it again the next day and you are a little distracted you get the intrusive thoughts? Because that's what happens to me. And I'm actually so afraid that it will happen, that I might be triggering myself because I almost expect it to happen.
- Date posted
- 5y
@? ilshid Yeah sometimes I feel like I’m triggering myself and sometimes I hate it when I give no thought/ feelings to Hocd almost feels like I’m accepting my fate and what’s crazy is I function well during sex Instant boner Super Hard and horny but the after effects ? and some thoughts during sex also distract me a bit I don’t know what’s wrong
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- 5y
@Mod22 What's really bothers me is the extreme amount of guilt that I feel if I get an intrusive thought during sex. My mind instantly starts thinking "why would I even think that, do I want that?"
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- 5y
@? ilshid Shit I feel that too, even when I’m not thinking about this I’m still depressed af, and I could be craving sex and in the middle of it I start to get these thoughts and also, my mind would say you are kissing like a girl or some shit like that and it would throw me off a little
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- 5y
@Mod22 Yeah, for me that's probably the worst. because sex used to be this really relaxing experience and now I'm more often than not really worried that my brain will find a way to ruin it and make it a and experience filled with guilt.
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- 5y
@? ilshid It’s been 8 months I’m honestly tired of this shit
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- 5y
@Mod22 Ouuuuchhhh, for me it's going to be over a month but I'm getting much better so that's encouraging but of course I'm worried every day that I might relapse and it might get to be as bad as before. I just posted a new post / threat about it... I guess that more people must have similar experiences
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- 5y
@? ilshid They are somewhat similar
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- 5y
Can I ask if you just knew you were lesbian? No thinking about it back and forth?
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- 5y
@advice? can't speak for anyone else, but i didn't just Know, so i think anyone who tells you that is full of shit. the way i figured it out was that i felt uncomfortable with men expressing romantic feelings to me and i felt depressed at the idea of being in a relationship with one. at the end of the day, sexuality is complicated and all you can do is what you're comfortable with. labels are just words, after all, and in the words of a zen master i met recently: "words are simply convenient delusions"
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- 5y
@advice? forgot to mention, did always know i liked women. took me a while to figure it out, but once i did there was no back and forth whatsoever. it was whether i was attracted to men too that caused me all that confusion
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- 5y
@ocdumbass Can I ask how you knew you were attracted to women? Did you develop feelings and romantic crushes on them? If you don’t mind answering.
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- 5y
@advice? Are you Suffering from Hocd?
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- 5y
@Mod22 Yes, I can’t stop seeking for reassurance
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- 5y
@advice? I was just about to say that what you are doing is seeking reassurance deep down you know you are not Lesbian you were living really well and comfortable with your sexuality until this brain misfiring I’m suffering from it too but the advice you are seeking might just get you way too deep into this
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- 5y
@Mod22 I know, I just know I can’t be lesbian but then it’s like there’s not way of knowing for sure and it’s scary. I’m already so far into this. Thoughts are deep.
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- 5y
@advice? Mine too but asking gay and lesbian people how they knew isn’t the answer you looking for either
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- 5y
I don't have Sexual Orientation OCD. I've also seen videos of people I initially thought were pretty men but later realized were women. The thing is it didn't bother me, I still thought they are pretty. I think (and I'm not a psychologist) that OCD makes you doubt parts of yourself that are important to you. So if it's important to you to be straight, then you wonder "what if I'm gay?" That's not important to me so I don't wonder because I don't mind if I'm not straight. Think about it this way: if you are gay, you will know. You won't wonder if you're attracted to someone, you'll think "holy shit, this person is hella attractive, I'd love to ask them out". So if that's not how you feel, I'm guessing you're not gay/bi. Then again, I am not a professional, other opinions are much appreciated
- Date posted
- 5y
I suffer from HOcd and what kaysf said is relatable we weren’t like this before the whole Hocd and also we felt the same way you felt on your comment we just have Hocd thoughts and they are unwanted we didn’t choose for them to be there the same things she is doing I’ve done them it’s just that our mind is really trying to trick us the same way as all the other Ocds I’ve been Confident with my sexuality for all my life I’m 21 right now and only got Hocd This March I’ve had so many encounters with women and never doubted it And now this that’s what makes it frustrating Deep down we know we straight but the voices in our heads sometimes tell us otherwise
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- 5y
@Mod22 I understand, I tried to offer potentially helpful information through my comment. I know the thoughts are not wanted because I get them too, albeit about other things
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- 5y
I’m so fucked up I forgot what being normal feels like, used to like looking at women talking to them etc but now it’s not the same it’s a constant struggle
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 16w
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
- Date posted
- 15w
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
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