i hate hocd. i literally saw a video of a guy and i thought he was attractive. nothing about him seemed girly. but then i noticed he was wearing a shirt with a rainbow across it and i was like omg is this really just a masculine guy and i got freaked out and went through his whole account until i made sure it’s actually a boy

yea. it’s. it even so much as i’m attracted to them physically. i’m not attracted to women who look like women, at all. i notice when they are attractive, but i’m not attracted. it’s just the women who look verryyy much like guys that sometimes i’m attracted. but, and no offense to you i have nothing against it, it just seems weird and wrong FOR ME to do anything romantic or sexual with a woman

@kaysf and I'd guess that's in much the same way that it feels depressing and uncomfortable for me to be romantic with men? i find feminine traits attractive regardless of gender, so you probably just find masculine traits attracting regardless of gender. these thoughts you're having are completely meaningless and, at the end of the day, even if you are gay, you can choose not to be with a woman if that's uncomfortable for you. we have free will for a reason

@ocdumbass Yes, that's very reasonable but I guess it doesn't help someone who knows they are having unreasonable thoughts and doubts... Probably the best way to deal with it is the general suggestion about intrusive thoughts: Acknowledge that it crossed your mind but do not act on it, do not carry out any compulsions and don't try to reassure yourself. Just show your brain that the thought is harmless and that it does not have to react. Of course it's way easier said than done but all the advice I've read boils down to that same thing..

@? ilshid I’ve done that but problem is when you do this you still know that deep down something is wrong that’s what I struggle with Also because some things don’t make you anxious today but make you anxious the following day I would have sex today for example and feel great but feel like shit when I have it the following day because my mind is not like yesterday don’t know if I’m making sense

@Mod22 Kind of! If you're relaxed during sex one day and you're so preoccupied with it but no intrusive thoughts make their way into your mind, then it feels great. But then you have it again the next day and you are a little distracted you get the intrusive thoughts? Because that's what happens to me. And I'm actually so afraid that it will happen, that I might be triggering myself because I almost expect it to happen.

@? ilshid Yeah sometimes I feel like I’m triggering myself and sometimes I hate it when I give no thought/ feelings to Hocd almost feels like I’m accepting my fate and what’s crazy is I function well during sex Instant boner Super Hard and horny but the after effects ? and some thoughts during sex also distract me a bit I don’t know what’s wrong

@Mod22 What's really bothers me is the extreme amount of guilt that I feel if I get an intrusive thought during sex. My mind instantly starts thinking "why would I even think that, do I want that?"

@? ilshid Shit I feel that too, even when I’m not thinking about this I’m still depressed af, and I could be craving sex and in the middle of it I start to get these thoughts and also, my mind would say you are kissing like a girl or some shit like that and it would throw me off a little

@Mod22 Yeah, for me that's probably the worst. because sex used to be this really relaxing experience and now I'm more often than not really worried that my brain will find a way to ruin it and make it a and experience filled with guilt.

@? ilshid It’s been 8 months I’m honestly tired of this shit

@Mod22 Ouuuuchhhh, for me it's going to be over a month but I'm getting much better so that's encouraging but of course I'm worried every day that I might relapse and it might get to be as bad as before. I just posted a new post / threat about it... I guess that more people must have similar experiences

@? ilshid They are somewhat similar

Can I ask if you just knew you were lesbian? No thinking about it back and forth?

@advice? can't speak for anyone else, but i didn't just Know, so i think anyone who tells you that is full of shit. the way i figured it out was that i felt uncomfortable with men expressing romantic feelings to me and i felt depressed at the idea of being in a relationship with one. at the end of the day, sexuality is complicated and all you can do is what you're comfortable with. labels are just words, after all, and in the words of a zen master i met recently: "words are simply convenient delusions"

@advice? forgot to mention, did always know i liked women. took me a while to figure it out, but once i did there was no back and forth whatsoever. it was whether i was attracted to men too that caused me all that confusion

@ocdumbass Can I ask how you knew you were attracted to women? Did you develop feelings and romantic crushes on them? If you don’t mind answering.

@advice? Are you Suffering from Hocd?

@Mod22 Yes, I can’t stop seeking for reassurance

@advice? I was just about to say that what you are doing is seeking reassurance deep down you know you are not Lesbian you were living really well and comfortable with your sexuality until this brain misfiring I’m suffering from it too but the advice you are seeking might just get you way too deep into this

@Mod22 I know, I just know I can’t be lesbian but then it’s like there’s not way of knowing for sure and it’s scary. I’m already so far into this. Thoughts are deep.

@advice? Mine too but asking gay and lesbian people how they knew isn’t the answer you looking for either

I suffer from HOcd and what kaysf said is relatable we weren’t like this before the whole Hocd and also we felt the same way you felt on your comment we just have Hocd thoughts and they are unwanted we didn’t choose for them to be there the same things she is doing I’ve done them it’s just that our mind is really trying to trick us the same way as all the other Ocds I’ve been Confident with my sexuality for all my life I’m 21 right now and only got Hocd This March I’ve had so many encounters with women and never doubted it And now this that’s what makes it frustrating Deep down we know we straight but the voices in our heads sometimes tell us otherwise

@Mod22 I understand, I tried to offer potentially helpful information through my comment. I know the thoughts are not wanted because I get them too, albeit about other things