I want to share my HOCD journey sorry if it’s a long read. I started having issues at age 13, didn’t know what it was because this was pre internet, I am 46 now. I finally got diagnosed and treated at age 23. Medication did the trick for me for about 20 years. I reduced the meds and relapsed. I have had symptoms again off and on for the last couple of years and had a setback a week ago when there was a drag queen at a party that I went to.....I smoked that night for the first time in years and the combination threw me for a loop. I called my psych and have gotten my meds adjusted and signed up to start ERP on Monday. I have never done it and felt it was time to kick this thing in the teeth once and for all. I know it seems like the end to many of you, but just persevere it will get better. I have dealt with this off and on my entire life, but I also have a degree, a good job, am happily married to a VERY understanding woman and have 8 wonderful children. I am in a valley at the moment but I’ll be damned if I am going to back down to this disease. We can all get better with time meds and therapy. God Bless

Sexual Orientation OCD

KC_88

Date posted: 6y

Thanks for sharing. Best of luck getting to the top of the hill again!

Sunshine1

Date posted: 6y

This is great, thank you for sharing!! Good luck to you! ????

js94

Date posted: 6y

This is what I needed to hear, thank you Kirk

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 6y

How do you sign up to start erp? Also thanks for sharing! I’m with my boyfriend and he knows everything about my hocd and he is super seeet and understanding as well so it gives me hope because I know I want to marry this man! Hocd is just the absolute devil and makes me think I’ll leave him for a woman. Its horrific

Kirk1334

Date posted: 6y

I located a therapist group that specializes in CBT specifically for OCD. I called them and asked if they do ERP. I actually have to drive 2 hours away to do it, but think it’s worth the trip.

js94

Date posted: 6y

Kirk how did your hocd start ?

Kirk1334

Date posted: 6y

It started when I was young, I can remember feeling the need to “confess” everything I had done to my parents at about 9 or 10. When I was 13 my grandfather tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. Innocent enough, but my ocd mind thought that if I liked it, how did I know I wasn’t gay? It snowballed from there.

js94

Date posted: 6y

Yeah mine started in college when i couldn't get an erection. I used to have to pray a certain way and check the locks a certain amount of time. But the hocd is what has been demonizing me for 6 years now. If u dont mind me asking, what medication are you on and how can i overcome this

js94

Date posted: 6y

Also, how did it affect your dating life?

Kirk1334

Date posted: 6y

I think it affected my dating life some, but it would come for a while and go away for a while, so I had breaks. I am on Luvox and Zoloft. As far as getting rid of it, get a good psychiatrist to get you on meds and go to a therapist that does ERP.

js94

Date posted: 6y

I'm on luvox as well and anafranil. How did u come open about this to your wife or girls u were seeing in the past

Kirk1334

Date posted: 6y

I only ever really told my wife, never really thought it was anyone else’s business. I just explained ocd and then the symptoms etc. she was/is very supportive.

js94

Date posted: 6y

Yeah your right it isn't anyone else's business. That's awesome. What r ur symptoms of hocd ? And thanks for taking the time to talk to me kirk.

Kirk1334

Date posted: 6y

My symptoms are similar to everyone else, fearing that I am “secretly” attracted to guys, checking and rechecking, then fearing my response to the checking wasn’t strong enough.

js94

Date posted: 6y

Yeah thats exactly how I am too.

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