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- 5y
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- 5y
Thanks for sharing. Best of luck getting to the top of the hill again!
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- 5y
This is great, thank you for sharing!! Good luck to you! ????
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- 5y
This is what I needed to hear, thank you Kirk
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- 5y
How do you sign up to start erp? Also thanks for sharing! I’m with my boyfriend and he knows everything about my hocd and he is super seeet and understanding as well so it gives me hope because I know I want to marry this man! Hocd is just the absolute devil and makes me think I’ll leave him for a woman. Its horrific
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- 5y
I located a therapist group that specializes in CBT specifically for OCD. I called them and asked if they do ERP. I actually have to drive 2 hours away to do it, but think it’s worth the trip.
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- 5y
Kirk how did your hocd start ?
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It started when I was young, I can remember feeling the need to “confess” everything I had done to my parents at about 9 or 10. When I was 13 my grandfather tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. Innocent enough, but my ocd mind thought that if I liked it, how did I know I wasn’t gay? It snowballed from there.
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- 5y
Yeah mine started in college when i couldn't get an erection. I used to have to pray a certain way and check the locks a certain amount of time. But the hocd is what has been demonizing me for 6 years now. If u dont mind me asking, what medication are you on and how can i overcome this
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- 5y
Also, how did it affect your dating life?
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- 5y
I think it affected my dating life some, but it would come for a while and go away for a while, so I had breaks. I am on Luvox and Zoloft. As far as getting rid of it, get a good psychiatrist to get you on meds and go to a therapist that does ERP.
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- 5y
I'm on luvox as well and anafranil. How did u come open about this to your wife or girls u were seeing in the past
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- 5y
I only ever really told my wife, never really thought it was anyone else’s business. I just explained ocd and then the symptoms etc. she was/is very supportive.
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- 5y
Yeah your right it isn't anyone else's business. That's awesome. What r ur symptoms of hocd ? And thanks for taking the time to talk to me kirk.
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- 5y
My symptoms are similar to everyone else, fearing that I am “secretly” attracted to guys, checking and rechecking, then fearing my response to the checking wasn’t strong enough.
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- 5y
Yeah thats exactly how I am too.
Related posts
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- 24w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
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- 19w
Hey everyone, just wanted to post an honest update on where I’m at in my HOCD recovery. Right now, I'm stuck in what feels like a 24/7 spike — nonstop thoughts, intrusive sensations, identity doubts, and hyperfocus. The worst part? It feels real. Like I’ve “lost,” like I’ve accepted it, like I am gay. The thoughts don't feel like anxiety anymore — they feel like truth. I’ve been trying to do ERP, but the spike has been so constant I don’t even have to “do exposures” — the thoughts, feelings, and sensations are just there all day long. It’s like living inside an exposure. And it’s exhausting. BUT — here’s what I’ve been doing (and what I’m sticking to now): I say once: “These thoughts and feelings are welcome to stay for as long as they want.” I let the doubt, the feelings, the hyperfocus exist. I don’t check, test, or analyze — even when it screams at me. I live my life anyway — folding clothes, watching TV, eating, walking — with the storm in my head. Even when it feels 100% real. Even when I’m fully focused on it. I’ve stopped trying to feel better. I’m letting it all burn — and just not fixing it. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like progress.
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- 19w
This is killing me slowly day by day, im a straight female 20 years old, i started getting hocd after a break up with an ex and coming off intense use of 🍁🍃 for a few years on and off, i think it has messed up my brain so bad… my hocd is weird because ive been with men my whole life always wanted to be with men.. i also used to always question every relationship “do i love him? Does he love me? Am I with the right person?” Anyways after my hocd triggered my tocd due to researching hocd and finding they can often be linked, I started getting tocd and it’s worse then ever because it’s not who I want to be and I’m going back to situations where my abusive ex partner called me a “man” during a fight. I’ve always been a tomboy but never had same sex attraction. Help. This is killing me. I haven’t been able to study or leave the house most days, and work! I’ve lost motivation for everything and I’m in a dark hole. I need some success stories please
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