A therapist on this app can tell me I'm not alone and it's pretty much OCD without coming out and saying that exact, but I will still seek reassurance? I don't understand why. Why can't I be satisfied? Does that mean I'm guilty and am a P? Pic below to confirm I'm right on what she said. She said it's OCD pretty much right?
I have done this and tried to reason. I think to myself who in their right mind could not know facts from lies. It's something I've never experienced and would never wish upon anyone else. Keep pushing forward l. You got this
@Anonymous Have you seen my posts regarding what happened friend? It's just so hard to get past.
@Anony1314 No I have not
@Anonymous Can I send it here friend
@Anony1314 Yes
@Anonymous I really need some help friends and therapists. Please. Am I the P I was always scared to be? Or am I still the amazing mom I once was? I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?
@Anony1314 I have not had this exact situation. I have other forms of ocd. It's so time consuming. I am in therapy and it is helping but I struggle with harm ocd. About the time it settles it pops up again.
@Anonymous So what are you saying friend? are you saying I'm a monster?
@Anony1314 Absolutely not. I was just saying I don't know what your going through because mine is harm ocd but my heart hurts for you because I wish non of us had to deal with this horrible disease.
Totally understandable! I know how frustrating it is when our compulsions don’t work 😅 The reason we don’t believe reassurance is because we are trying to reason and use logic but OCD is NOT a logic disorder and doesn’t respond to logic. Scientifically, Ocd isn’t in the logical part of our brain. Ocd is more an emotion based disorder- so all it cares about is how anxious, sad, or disgusted we feel. Ocd doesn’t care about us trying to reason with it. So at the end of the day- we can seek all the reassurance in the world and it will feel like it was all for nothing, and actually, it pretty much is! Because Ocd will constantly throw us more doubt no matter what. It’s a never-ending cycle with compulsions
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