Anyone been cheated on & struggling to feel enough

-Partner and I are still together since I found out 1 year ago. -he has been actively working on himself and has gotten therapy, and really doing well. Has done everything I’ve asked, and he’s a better person from therapy -OCD has flared from this trauma -we have been in couples therapy, and I’m in individual. -lately have been struggling with the feeling of just not feeling like enough, insecure, and needing constant validation that he loves me I’m really just trying to seek support from others who have been through similar, and are still in the relationship. Please don’t be rude. You really don’t know what it’s like until it happens to you. I said before it happened to me I would leave anyone that did that, and you really just don’t know until you experience it.

Young adults with OCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Chloemirandaaa thank you so much! You made me cry 💜💜

Cefowler10

Date posted: 1y

I’m so sorry your going through this!! I went through something extremely similar!! My best advise is to try and do what you can to make it work, BUT with that being said do NOT put all your time and energy and resources into this to the point where your mental health is not okay. Do not risk your mental health for somebody who disrespected you to begin with. I genuinely hope you guys will be okay and that you can get a little peace soon <3

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Cefowler10 Thank you. I’m at the point where I’ve put so much into it already. I was definitely not okay a year ago, I’m doing better now, but it’s still hard when things come up. Any advice for getting through “I don’t feel enough” feeling?

Cefowler10

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Absolutely!! The best thought I’ve been able to use to counteract the “I don’t feel enough” thought is that WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN ENOUGH!! You are sitting here working your butt off and caring and putting your heart into this you are proving in real time to everyone here YOU ARE ENOUGH!! It sounds like your boyfriend was going through his own insecurity’s and unfortunately the consequences turned on you. Nothing you did could’ve prevented this from happening. The thoughts always gonna be creeping in the background but you can’t dispute undeniable facts if you are doing everything you can right now, and that means you are MORE than enough!!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Cefowler10 Thank you so much. You are a very kind person. 💜

FiddyK

Date posted: 1y

I'm right there with you. My wife of 6 years emotionally cheated with a coworker. Then she left me. And immediately tried to start a relationship with the guy before realizing how stupid that would be. Then I found out and she has been feeling guilty ever sense. We have plans to maybe try again in a few months after doing self care. But I'm scared about trusting her again. Cheating is completely out of character for her so it was a big shock to me and her included. She suffers from possible bipolar and depression and adhd. Not to mention lots of past relationship trauma. My OCD is definitely on high right now. I wish I knew what to do.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@FiddyK Yeah I keep hearing that with time trust will be rebuilt but it’s been a year. I don’t think I’ll ever fully trust anyone. It was very traumatic for me, and I’ve never experienced this level of betrayal in my life. It’s so painful because you think your best friend and love of your life would never do anything to hurt you but it happened. He risked hurting me, not intentionally but because he had his own issues. He has since improved on those issues since working on them (we’ve acknowledged what may have caused it to happen). It’s just shitty. Everything was so perfect and it was like gone in one minute. I don’t want to let him go, because the good is still there, we have potential to get it back and have improved so much since I found out. It’s just my own shit I’m struggling so much with and I just feel alone with it

Soph0709

Date posted: 1y

@FiddyK Can I ask what you mean by emotionally cheating? I'm worried of this happening to me :/

FiddyK

Date posted: 1y

@Soph0709 Basically it's when someone becomes emotionally attached to someone other than their partner but without the physical intimacy. Like they flirt and confide in someone else over their partner and develop feelings for that other person. I suggest looking it up to get a better idea before worrying about if it is happening to you.

Soph0709

Date posted: 1y

@FiddyK thank you!

tulip2

Date posted: 1y

My partner and I of 4 years actually parted ways today after they cheated about a year ago. We tried to rebuild the trust and connection but my insecurities flared up my OCD and I've just haven't been myself. Constantly seeking reassurance, hating the way I look, being paranoid all the time. Despite the fact that they were working on themselves as well and truly dedicated to me and mending things. We came the the realization that we've become dependent and it's better for both of us to split ways. It's really scary, because we've been through so much together but we've promised to support each other even if not in a romantic relationship. I'm not saying breaking up is what's best for you, but for a long long time I thought it wasn't for me. I thought leaving would never be the right choice, until it was. No matter what, prioritize yourself and your health. 🩷

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond