Deleted post.

I also struggle with this same subtype, you are not alone in your struggles. God still loves us and He also knows our struggles. It is brave of you to share this, I often do not talk about my struggles with OCD because I don't want to be shamed or misunderstood. However, there are sometimes where I have been surprised by support I recieve. My therapist at NOCD has helped me a lot. I really hope you things get better for you, I am there with you.

I am so glad you received such great support here with your experience. I have it too and it gets really bad for me, but I will leave you with this, there is nothing you can do to change the fact that God loves you and is not judging you. You’re loved unconditionally, that’s a fact. Peace to you!

Thank you for sharing your story so openly. What you’re experiencing is incredibly difficult, and it’s clear how much pain and exhaustion you’re carrying. Religious OCD can feel so isolating, especially when those around you don’t fully understand. Please know that you are not alone, and your struggles are real and valid. If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-of-ocd/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/fantasies-versus-obsessions/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-overcome-ocd-intrusive-thoughts/

You're not alone in this i have been there too🥺🫂

Comment deleted by user

I'm so proud of you for telling your mom!!!! And actually, her response is good in my opinion. The fact that she took it seriously enough to cry means she isn't just discrediting what you are going through. It's very hard for people without OCD to fully understand it, so of course some of her initial reactions will include trying to explain it away. But I'm so glad you told her. I really think having her listen to some of Mark DeJesus would help, or buy one of his books....or have her look at the Ian Osborn website I mentioned. But be encouraged! You dropped a big issue on her, and the only reason it's so big to her is b/c she loves you very much. I'm a father, and if my daughter came to me with this, my first emotional response would be that I didn't want her to suffer. That's probably why she says things like she worried about what others may think. b/c she just doesn't want you to suffer in that way either.

But again - definitely don't feel discouraged or condemned. Even the thought "my faith is fading" is not what's actually going on. You are just fatigued. Jaimie Eckert talks about that in one of her videos - she gives the analogy of electrical wiring, and how if way too much current goes through it the wiring can get burned out. Our brains have alot of activity, and when OCD puts the threat level into overdrive for a really long time, the brain can get burnt out, and may just need some relief to heal itself. That is where therapy and medication can help ALOT. Also, here is a snippet from my book about the condemnation issue: _______________________________________ In The Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life, Hannah Whitall Smith addresses what this looks like long before OCD was ever defined. Just replace the words temptation and wrong with the phrase intrusive thoughts, and we can see how Satan could easily use this illness to his advantage. It seems hardly worthwhile to say that temptation is not sin, and yet much distress arises from not understanding this fact. The very suggestion of wrong seems to bring pollution with it; and the poor tempted soul begins to feel as if it must be very bad indeed, and very far off from God, to have had such thoughts and suggestions. It is as though a burglar should break into a man’s house to steal, and, when the master of the house begins to resist him and to drive him out, should turn round and accuse the owner of being himself the thief. It is the enemy’s grand ruse for entrapping us. He comes and whispers suggestions of evil to us, – doubts, blasphemies, jealousies, envyings, and pride, and then turns round and says, “Oh, how wicked you must be to think of such things! It is very plain that you are not trusting the Lord; for if you had been, it would have been impossible for these things to have entered your heart.” This reasoning sounds so very plausible that we often accept it as true, and so come under condemnation, and are filled with discouragement. _________________________________ If your parents are against medication for this (as many Christians are b/c of the stigma around this issue), here's another snippet: _____________________________________ Psychiatrist Ian Osborn, MD, writes: "Indeed, the majority of recent scientific papers on OCD deal with the biomedical aspect of the illness. Research in this area is so impressive that the United States Congress has seen fit to include OCD among a small group of mental disorders covered by the Mental Health Equitable Treatment Act. Thus, OCD has been officially recognized as being just as “biologically based” as diabetes or heart disease, and therefore deserving of the same insurance coverage." I love that Osborn states that OCD is “as biologically based as diabetes” because both conditions are treated by changing a chemical level in the body. Diabetes is treated by introducing insulin into the blood stream to lower blood glucose levels, and some medications used to treat OCD (known as SSRIs) increase serotonin levels. In terms of morality, I find it is hard to argue that treating diabetes by reducing blood glucose with insulin is any different than treating low serotonin levels with SSRIs. However, the way believers typically view the approach to coping with diabetes and OCD can be quite different. In high school, a diabetic girl in our youth group passed out during a sermon and was in dire need of sugar (her insulin shot had dangerously lowered her blood sugar level). Someone alerted the pastor, who immediately asked the congregation if anyone had candy or glucose pills. A few medical doctors, including my mom, rushed to assist the girl, while the pastor prayed for her recovery before proceeding with his sermon. Nobody stood up to protest the request for sugar, and I’m not aware of anyone who contacted the church leadership team to convey their disapproval. Why? Because diabetes is accepted as a medical (physical) condition by both secular society and nearly all denominations of Christianity. However, I have met numerous people, including close family members, who clearly object to using medication to treat OCD. Even for some who understand that OCD is partially a chemical problem, the stigma surrounding the use of medicine for mental illness is difficult to overcome. I believe that this stigma is rooted in the belief that OCD is in no way a physical or medical issue and is solely spiritual. If that were not the belief, then the same Christians that advocate for the use of medicine to control diabetes would claim that diabetes should be fought only within the spiritual realm. ___________________________________