wanting to fire my OCD therapist

A couple of weeks ago I went through a breakup and was mental reviewing and ruminating the entire relationship. My therapist asked me if we can’t talk about and focus on the OCD treatment (my main themes). I am surprised that my therapist did not recognize that this new situation in my life is turning into another one of my obsession. And the constant talking about it is ruminating and my inability to sit with uncertainly and discomfort of the breakup (ROCD) is OCD and thus needs to be worked on. I am really beginning to question how much he understands OCD and I’m surprised that as the client I have to educate him on it. I have been working with him for many months and I don’t think I’m making process. I’m also having a hard time connecting with him. I want to terminate. I can’t do this. Also in terms of my main theme, I also had to teach him that to some degree. He also doesn’t know terms like “mental review” or “ROCD”. Like the words we all associate with when it comes to OCD. I’m getting not so good vibes. How do I leave?!?

Relationship OCD

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 11w

Hey! If you are uncomfortable with your therapist you can mention it to them and they should be able to set you up with a different therapist. As therapists, I am sure they just want the best for you. It’s perfectly OK if they are not the perfect match & you need to seek help from someone else

Anonymouus

Date posted: 11w

@OCDxJosh I think I’m upset with not standing up for myself earlier. I will bring this up. Hopefully something can be worked out or if not a peaceful termination.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

Can you elaborate on this? Are you upset that the therapist is telling you to sit with the uncomfortable feeling that the new obession is making you feel? If so, do NOT fire that therapist. They're doing the correct thing.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

To add more context. I've gotten to a point where my OCD is way more manageable (after 20-30 years). Been having a rough few days with my Harm OCD where I have a fear of shooting myself in the head with my shotgun. Since I've been stressing about it so much lately, as I type this I'm sitting with my shotgun on my lap and the shells rifht next to me. I can easily load the gun and shoot myself. Very scary thought and I'm pretty sure I don't wan't to do that, but crazier things have happened and I totally could. I'm just making myself comfortable with that uncertainty and possibility.

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

Is your therapist an OCD/ERP specialist?

Gmoki

Date posted: 11w

Hi! I’ve actually just went thru a breakup myself, and my ERP therapist here on NOCD was the first person I told. Her response to me was so kind, and she was extremely attentive to me. However, she did not feed into the OCD compulsions I might’ve wanted her to, granted I was in a very vulnerable state. She even made it so that I see her three times a week instead of twice a week. We still focused on working on my OCD in sessions too, though. It sounds like maybe this is the kind of treatment you’d prefer as well. Please don’t let this fully discourage you from ERP, or any of the therapists on here. It’s ok to feel like you do not have a perfect match with your therapist. Therapists want the absolute best for you!!

bmaria

Date posted: 23w

Rocd ??

Please help. Been with my boyfriend for 15 months. 6 months into our official relationship I found out he kissed someone 1 week before he asked out officially. He told me he loved me at that time and I felt we were exclusive. He apparently did not . He also agreed he would not watch porn and lied once about it. I also have been spinning about the types of women he thinks are attractive and I find disgusting so I sent him pictures for months hoping he would say it looks gross but he didn’t and it killed me. Throughout the relationship I have been spinning about these issues really hard and it damaged my trust for him but I know he’s an amazing great guy I just feel very uneasy. It has been 1 year of me spinning about these issues and other little ones constantly texting him everyday and my friends about them to try to figure things out but I am unhappy . 4 months ago I had a severe breakdown and since I am severely depressed and anxious every day all day with thoughts of is this a wrong relationship , comparing him to other men, wondering if I would be happier with someone else. I have been seeing a therapist seeing a therapist one thinks I have rocd and a psychologist doesn’t . Nothing is helping me and I’m on Zoloft . I broke up with him a month ago and I’m still spinning in circles if I made the right decision or if I left over rocd and overblowing the issues that bothered me . Someone please tell me if you think this is rocd (edited)

Firefly girl

Date posted: 22w

Rocd and Soocd

Every morning I wake up im always fixating on something and texting chat gpt, whether thats my relationship or my sexuality. I try so hard to resist it but I just can’t handle the uncertainty or the idea of hurting him or leading him on. We aren’t even official because in the past my rocd caused an issue between us where it led to him breaking up with me so now I have a fear of his intentions being ingenuine, especially because friends and family have called him a love bomber, saying he used me for attention, and narcissistic. This takes over me because I feel like I will never be able to be happy with him or trust myself or the relationship because of what other people say. I am very content on my own and single, this is the first relationship where i have experienced debilitating anxiety and doubt about the legitimacy of both of our feelings to the point where I cannot function. I’m trying so hard to not feed into it and not give it energy but I just hate the idea of leading him on or being inauthentic to what I truly want. My current therapist who I only see a couple times a month doesn’t think I have ocd, which makes me spiral and think I should end it with him, especially because I always hear things like “The right relationship will add to your life” and I feel the opposite is happening not directly because of him but because my brain takes over and paralyzes me with indecision about if i should be with him or not. I know that his intentions are genuine, but I hate that everyone is so cynical and assumes they’re not just because my rocd and his emotional baggage created a messy situation. From the moment i met him I convinced myself it was too good to be true and my therapist even said I was self-sabatoging. But i hate not knowing if it is rocd and my insurance doesn’t cover NOCD. He is so patient with me and supportive but I keep hearing things like “the honeymoon stage is supposed to last 3 months” and “it shouldn’t be this hard with the right person” “you’re not good for each other” and my friends tell me i didnt do anything wrong etc bc he did at first say my ocd didnt affect him when in reality that led to him ending it initially. But he has been more upfront with his emotions but then my mom and people will say “more to come” “there’s so much more out there” and its just so isolating not having that support and wondering if im too young to settle and if I’m just an idiot convincing myself I have rocd when really i just don’t want to be with him/it is a toxic relationship. When in reality the only reason it is toxic is because i am so sporadic about whether or not I want him in my life because of my distrust in myself and my decisions. I love him but I know love isn’t always enough and I get existential fixating on what’s “meant to be” and what’s “supposed to happen” its like this debilitating urge to control everything and make everything go perfectly how it is supposed to go. Please help i just want to make the right decision and stop paralyzing myself with doubt

Huskydog

Date posted: 21w

I have a question.

I had my second session with a therapist and they told me they don’t think I have OCD. They think that I have just intrusive thoughts. They also said they don’t do diagnosis. I also noticed they did not ask me questions about my different themes.This has made me so confused. Even though I had a terrible fear that a therapist will tell that I don’t have it, (which is the main reason why I had not gone to one) I did suspect I had it because I identify with many of the symptoms. On the website it says that they treat it but I don’t think they are like a specialist. On the first session they described OCD mainly as needing to have things symmetrical and fear of contamination. I have a feeling that they don’t know much about it. I also didn’t mentioned all the themes I think I have because I’m scared to be misunderstood. I am not sure what to do. I can’t afford seeing an OCD therapist at NOCD. Can anyone give an insight, has something similar happened to you? Thank you!

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