user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

hocd

i’m scared i’m bi and in denial and trying to convince myself im straight.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w

Just letting you know you are not alone!! I literally struggle with this as well and is so scary.

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Anonymous i read what it is like to convince yourself you’re straight and it feels just like me.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

Try allow the thought just to be... I never realized how not gay I am until I just allowed the thought... Simple approach to OCD, do opposite what you're inclined to do, and it goes away

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@roxyto9876 Sorry for confusing you. I struggled with the thought and even a desire to be with another guy, and fought it, argued against it and all that. But by just allowing the thought, not fighting it, not agreeing with it, it lost its power.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

Same /: have u ever experienced tocd too?

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream not really. wanna talk????

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 Sure

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream okay basically i’ve had hocd and it was quiet for a while. it came back in a huge spike and now im scared im secretly bi and just trying to convince myself i am straight. it feels right but i don’t want it to be. i’m not freaking out that much. i know 100% i like boys but what if i am suppressing feelings for girls.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

I feel the same way unfortunately. It’s scary and i don’t want to be and before ocd hit i never questioned my sexuality ever.

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream i looked up what it would be like if i was bi and just convincing myself to be straight and it felt just like me and i don’t feel sick. i’m scared it’s true.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 Me too I’m scared it’s true

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream why does it feel okay? like being bi would be easier bc i could be with my bf still? what if i am just suppressing my feelings for girls and i don’t even have ocd?

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 I think that after awhile of ur brain being in over drive it gets tired and that’s why ur not freaking out or feel like u “like” it or it feels ok but it’s not true

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream but i can’t stop researching on tiktok and google about what it feels like to be bi or to have hocd? i’m so scared im bi and accepting it?

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 People who want to be bi or gay don’t do extensive research to figure out if they’re gay or not. They like who they like and they don’t care or put any thought into it. The same way us straight people feel when we like someone. Do you do excessive research ab being straight? No cause u want to be and u don’t have any problem w it. This is bringing us distress which means it’s the ocd talking and trying to convince u that it’s true

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream so it is my ocd and i’m straight? i’m not just convincing myself im straight?????? im also a strong christian

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 You’re straight - you’re what you always been before all this ocd doubt came into play. It plays on your biggest fears and makes you doubt yourself

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream it happened when i was 12 though

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 This theme?

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Dreamydream yes.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 Well that’s okay it’s still OCD related

anonymousssmm

Date posted: 10w

I’m going through the same thing and I understand you very well. Hope you feel better soon:)

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@anonymousssmm can we talk?

anonymousssmm

Date posted: 8w

@user74128588493 Sorry, I just saw that you replied to me week ago. If you still want to talk , we can:)

[Deleted]

Date posted: 10w

Comment deleted by user

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@roxyto9876 does it feel like you’re trying to convince yourself you’re straight and only like boys?????

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@roxyto9876 same!! can we chat?

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@roxyto9876 okay! do you have snapchat

johnsarry

Date posted: 10w

Worst feeling in the world i would like to say i have this and more it's horible. Bet you probably do to 😂

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 10w

It’s really tough when your mind keeps questioning things that matter so much to you. These doubts and fears can feel relentless, but you’re not alone in facing them. Help is here at NOCD and we can assist you in finding outside help if needed too. Would love the opportunity to work with you here at NOCD—just ask to be matched with me by our care team or any of our therapists who would also be able to help. Also, here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/bisexuality-so-ocd-the-invisible-so-ocd/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-straight-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-hocd-same-as-so-ocd/ If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/bisexuality-so-ocd-the-invisible-so-ocd/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-straight-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-hocd-same-as-so-ocd/

Serio?

Date posted: 10w

OCD will keep you stuck in a cycle of “what if this is real and I don’t do anything about it” and “what if it’s not real and I make a mistake”. It’s better to try to stop solving it and let the answer come to you

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@Serio? it feels real. it can’t be true. why do i feel calmer about being bi than gay?

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 like i knew gay wasn’t right but now bi im scared it is.

Serio?

Date posted: 10w

@user74128588493 Honestly I can’t tell you. Your emotions seem completely out of wack

charbo

Date posted: 10w

This is my biggest problem as well, it comes and goes and has been like it for years. I’m so drained from it and if I’m honest at this point I don’t even want to be alive :(

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

@charbo it was pretty quiet with groinals and scared im attracted to girls but my attraction to bf was so strong so i didn’t think about it now it came back and im sick. like what if i liked it and was suppressing it now it is just coming to the surface????

anonymous1348

Date posted: 23w

hocd

straight girl suffering from hocd, okay so when i was younger i looked at like a girl corn star insta for like 2 weeks and like did get aroused by it, didn’t think much of it still fancied boys, girls were like ew no to me, but its triggering my hocd so badly, like is it normal that i could look at a sexy pic of a girl n get aroused by it, but like a shirtless pic of a boy i wouldn’t, however i have insane attraction to men irl, i love my boyfriend, i love the idea of being with a man and hate the idea of being with a woman, this really freaking me out!

Sexual Orientation OCD

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 16w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

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