hocd sucks. even on good days there’s still this constant worry in the back of my mind that’s bothering me and sometimes i forget what that worry is, but i know there’s still a worry there so i try to remember what it is then i do. it’s like since i’ve gotten better i don’t actually think i’m bi, like the thoughts don’t seem as real. but then i get triggered or i get a groinal responses and i’m like uh okay maybe i am and i get freaked out and it just sucks. or i’m like ok what if in the future i realize i am. and i don’t want that to happen

what makes you worry about that?

yep i felt that. that’s what ocd does tho. and to be honest sometimes i even doubt that this is a form of ocd for me if i’m like omg what if it is ocd but then i actually turn out bi and i get really freaked out

not to be rude but i kind laughed at the part where you said it worries you that you’re not a boy crazy person bc it worries me that i am a boy crazy person. because i’m like omg is this just a cover up. and i get freaked out. and also because i saw something on social media of a girls friends saying she taught them all how to flirt with guys and how to do sexual things with a guy and she always had a bunch of boyfriends, and she’s gay no. so that kind of triggered me because she was boy crazy, and i kind of am too. but my hocd makes me think i’m bi because for some reason when this all started, it stuck with me that i like boys so then i was like omg you’re bi. it sucks because i don’t actually want to be with a girl or do anything with a girl but then i’m like do you and you just don’t know it. it’s awful

@kaysf I agree completely and it pisses me off that people will go lesbians love happy lives and accept the possiblity you are one and it’s like I know deep down I’m not and I just don’t want that to happen

@cloudqueen me tooo. i know deep down i’m not. but then again i don’t because i’m like do you really know? and i’m not sure about you but sometimes i get groinal responses and those freak me out soo much. to be honest feminine girls don’t trigger. it’s androgynous women who look exactly like men, who freak me out. and i don’t want to be rude saying that. so the reason they freak me out so much is because at the beginning of my hocd i was like omg they look like men so would i be attracted to them like men and i created a mental attachment because i freaked out so much over it. also because there’s been times when i see a lesbian who looked exactly like a man, like even my friends who are straight said “he” was hot and then i found out she was a girl and i freaked out. but a girl on the comments of that said that straight girls were attracted to her PHYSICALLY because she looks like a man and we are attracted to masculine features and to us it looks like a man. just like a straight boy would most likely be attracted to a boy who had long hair and had feminine facial features and dressed like a female and all of that. but it freaks me out bc i’m like omg if i find her physically attractive would i want to date her or do stuff with her. but tbh i’m always less attracted after i find out its a girl but then i question that and i’m like is this just me in denial