kaysf
- Date posted
- 5y
Sunshine1Sunshine1
- Date posted
- 5y
I realate to all of this girls. Just know your not alone. ?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m also scared about being asexual like I was crying and having a full blown panic attack yesterday because of it
kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y
what makes you worry about that?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
The thought about never finding a guy sexually attractive actually scares the living shit out of me even tho I know I’ve experienced sexual attraction before it’s like my ocd is making me anything but what i am heterosexual
kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y
yep i felt that. that’s what ocd does tho. and to be honest sometimes i even doubt that this is a form of ocd for me if i’m like omg what if it is ocd but then i actually turn out bi and i get really freaked out
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Same and one thing that scary with me is I’m not a boy crazy person but I know deep down I’m into boys so that also bothers me and makes me feel depressed but I do think it has to do with my mental health
kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y
not to be rude but i kind laughed at the part where you said it worries you that you’re not a boy crazy person bc it worries me that i am a boy crazy person. because i’m like omg is this just a cover up. and i get freaked out. and also because i saw something on social media of a girls friends saying she taught them all how to flirt with guys and how to do sexual things with a guy and she always had a bunch of boyfriends, and she’s gay no. so that kind of triggered me because she was boy crazy, and i kind of am too. but my hocd makes me think i’m bi because for some reason when this all started, it stuck with me that i like boys so then i was like omg you’re bi. it sucks because i don’t actually want to be with a girl or do anything with a girl but then i’m like do you and you just don’t know it. it’s awful
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@kaysf I agree completely and it pisses me off that people will go lesbians love happy lives and accept the possiblity you are one and it’s like I know deep down I’m not and I just don’t want that to happen
kaysfkaysf
- Date posted
- 5y
@cloudqueen me tooo. i know deep down i’m not. but then again i don’t because i’m like do you really know? and i’m not sure about you but sometimes i get groinal responses and those freak me out soo much. to be honest feminine girls don’t trigger. it’s androgynous women who look exactly like men, who freak me out. and i don’t want to be rude saying that. so the reason they freak me out so much is because at the beginning of my hocd i was like omg they look like men so would i be attracted to them like men and i created a mental attachment because i freaked out so much over it. also because there’s been times when i see a lesbian who looked exactly like a man, like even my friends who are straight said “he” was hot and then i found out she was a girl and i freaked out. but a girl on the comments of that said that straight girls were attracted to her PHYSICALLY because she looks like a man and we are attracted to masculine features and to us it looks like a man. just like a straight boy would most likely be attracted to a boy who had long hair and had feminine facial features and dressed like a female and all of that. but it freaks me out bc i’m like omg if i find her physically attractive would i want to date her or do stuff with her. but tbh i’m always less attracted after i find out its a girl but then i question that and i’m like is this just me in denial
Related posts
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 21w
hocd
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 19w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 16w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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