Are people sexual intrusive visions/thoughts super weird and intense? This is very vivid so I’m so sorry but my visions are a lot of picturing me with my face in a vagina... so weird I know. But it’s a vision that is intense and constant and it’s so so weird. I obsess over if I would like something like that and could be okay with having for the rest of my life. The thought is gross but I then think is me saying it’s gross a compulsion or cover up. Cuz I sure as hell hope not. I can’t get down with vaginas in my face. But then I think could I. Dear lord I hate this. And just accepting that that thought/vision is there is the most uncomfy thing ha. Accepting any of the lesbian visions or thoughts are so uncomfortable.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

I e made out with so many of my friends. So many girls. Been with a girl sexually and never ever felt anything or questioned my sexuality until NOW too. Saw a gay couple on ig and got curious and saw their stories about being with her bf for 5 years then kissed a girl and left him to be with a girl. And then people comments on it were “yeah I was married and am now happily with a woman.” And it scared me shitless. I started randomly thinking what if that happens to me. And then my coworkers boyfriend made a joke saying that her and we’re gonna be lesbian together and literally have not been the same since. Now all this crap is making me scared that I have had a crush or do have a crush on my friend now because she is a trigger to this now. So I feel weird around her cuz it makes me think of all this. I would do anything to go back before I read those comments. I want my old life back ? I want to be happy with my boyfriend and only him.

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

OMG those comments would trigger me too ??? I got triggered really hard from Bohemian Rapsody ? I got so scared and anxious I didn't know what to think. I thought that I would end up doing that to my bf and I felt so scared and guilty. & & SAME! I felt nothing about it at the time when I kissed my friends, didn't even question it. I just knew it was for shits and giggles. But now all of it seems like proof and it's freaking me out. My bf knows about all of this and tells me it's normal for girls to do this type of stuff but im still stressing that it means something ?? or what if I enjoyed it but surpressed it??? Ughhh

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

Yes same! I've never had any sort of curiosity to be between the legs of a woman. At all. Never thought about it once as I knew that I just don't get down like that ?? but now these stupid thoughts are making me go insane and idk what's real anymore

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

I actually was with a girl once a couple years ago when I was drunk and it just happened idk. I didn’t go down on her but we did plenty of sexual things. And yeah it was fun whatever but the way I felt for weeks after was terrible. I was legit sick to my stomach. Felt weirded out by myself. And that’s why I’m confused because if I have been sexual with a girl before then how do I not just know that’s not what I want for the rest of my life. The fact I didn’t go down on her has made me worry about it because what if I would have liked it. And because I don’t have that confidence in that makes me think I do want it. It’s just a never ending cycle in my brain.

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 Yeah same! When I was a kid I partook in experimentation with another girl and we played girlfriend and boyfriend. And I csnt stop thinking about that. Also, me and my best friend at the time was really really drunk and we ended up making out and I felt so nasty after for about a week. We laughed it off obv and I pretty much never thought about it again after that. UNTIL NOW! I've also drunkingly made out with another friend of mine for a snapchat she sent to some dudes but like I said. Never thought about that shit until now. And it's killing me.

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