fababean
- Date posted
- 5y
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
I was also sexually abused by a cousin only a few years older than me. I also never feel like it "counts" because other people have been through horrific things done by other adults. But it does. I remember the onset of my OCD being after that, and it truly affected me. I would not be surprised if the abuse you went through affected you so much that it contributed to you developing this theme. Remember people with POCD are severly and utterly against hurting a child, they avoid children at all costs. They would never, ever, ever do such a thing. You have an anxiety disorder, that's all. You're not capable of anything like that.
cheeseduckcheeseduck
- Date posted
- 5y
Crazy that y’all are talking about the onset of OCD symptoms coming up after a sexual abuse incident. The same thing happened with me, and I never knew if it was legitimate. It was an older kid at my baby sitter’s house. In kindergarten. After that is when I started having debilitating panic attacks and horrible paranoia about people poisoning me or being imposters of themselves, out to kill me. These were all related to a danger/death obsession that has since plagued my life on and off. But it’s really wild for me to hear that other people had such a similar onset of OCD
fababeanfababean
- Date posted
- 5y
@CheeseDuck Same. After experiencing that I felt waves of terrible nervous nausea and stomach aches. I became extremely sexual too. As a young child I had a sexual experiences with a girl my age. I still think about her and wonder if she hates me for it. I once believed to be pregnant from all the sexual feelings I had.
fababeanfababean
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. You are kind. I need to find a therapist to help me through this. I do not want it to keep me from possibly beginning my own family one day.
lizzy123lizzy123
- Date posted
- 5y
I have ptsd from childhood sex abuse from children just a few years older than me. I struggle with hocd from it. I was abused by both boys and girls. And saw porn at too young an age. I struggled with pocd for a little bit too. Ptsd and ocd are very similar and can co-exist.
fababeanfababean
- Date posted
- 5y
I too was introduced to pornography at a young age. About 5. I experience violent sexual fantasies that I want inflicted on me.
lizzy123lizzy123
- Date posted
- 5y
They may be memories. Or variations of memories. Thats how ptsd intrusive thoughts work. Fear of things happening because of past events. Are these fantasies unfomfortable?
SoniclenSoniclen
- Date posted
- 5y
You can add me to this list. I’ve been on here before talking about developing repetitive safety behaviours as a child and then being plagued with a wide array of obsessions including sexual abuse, violence, responsibility, relationship and even paedophilia. I have had six months of therapy which has included EMDR- and frankly I recommend far more than something so blunt as exposure. I go against the grain: I think under ocd is often ptsd. These obsessions keep the brains panic under control and if that is threatened then the ptsd threatens to come out the box. The obsessions are manifestations of this. The link between trauma and nasty obsessions makes perfect sense. Explore your traumas, look at what is behind them. Maybe do exposure to drain the compulsive behaviour of life but the origin? Forget it. You need exploratory therapy, and EMDR has repeatable clinic randomised trials supporting is efficacy. Do it, a part of your brain is trying to master the abuse to counter the way you were ‘mastered’. This is natural instinct - brain sees a threat and wants you in control, but you were NOT in control when you were someone else’s sexual plaything. None of us were. THATS where your mind needs new learning.
lizzy123lizzy123
- Date posted
- 5y
Emdr is the way to go with trauma!
Related posts
Tireddd
- Date posted
- 23w
Something i read that made anxiety spike hard
I was checking out a community of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and there was a post that said that pedos sometimes don't even know that they are that, or they don't realize it, like a racist person who won't admit that they're racist. I also saw a comment that mentioned that a ped0 tried to groom them and then when the victim realized, the predator simply said that "they were going to therapy and that their behaviours were a product of childhood abuse" They also said that people like that often did mental gymnastics because they had a personality disorder. This made me feel extremely anxious because, what if that's the case for me? I did things from 10 to 15 years old that made me extremely afraid and shameful, and thinking about the possibility of being that, i didn't abuse or groomed anyone but i saw disturbing things on the internet. Stating the things i did are sometimes accompanied by saying the abuses i experienced as a child, this worries me that it is a gigantic mental gymnastics to evade responsability or to deny being a paraphilic. This is horrible
Lulu~
- Date posted
- 20w
Someone please help me right now
I’m a csa survivor which made me develop hypersexuality while actually being a asexual individual. (Where I did CP and talked to groomers and sexted, ect ect) A few months ago I’ve started to heal, but the fact that I’ve seen so many private parts since I was idk, young? I imagine them everywhere, it’s really frustrating and sometimes I also get intrusive thoughts about other kids or my siblings. It’s deeply distributing but I also kind of think of it from a curious kind of aspect which I despise too. Honestly I have a hard time with any kid in underwear, my intrusive thoughts have been ALOT the last months and they’re really really overwhelming. I also easily go into overanalysing them or even trying to figure out more clearer the thoughts to “test myself”. I think, I hope. Idk it’s scary
sanshine
- Date posted
- 17w
I'm scared....
𝕊𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 😞𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎 ℙ𝕃𝔼𝔸𝕊𝔼 𝔻𝕆ℕ'𝕋 ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻 𝕀𝔽 𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕀𝕃𝕐 𝔻𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕌ℝ𝔹𝔼𝔻 𝔹𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕄𝔼𝕊 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕂𝕀𝔻𝕊 hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. 😞😞😞😞 I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scared😞😞😞😞
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