fababean
- Date posted
- 5y
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
I was also sexually abused by a cousin only a few years older than me. I also never feel like it "counts" because other people have been through horrific things done by other adults. But it does. I remember the onset of my OCD being after that, and it truly affected me. I would not be surprised if the abuse you went through affected you so much that it contributed to you developing this theme. Remember people with POCD are severly and utterly against hurting a child, they avoid children at all costs. They would never, ever, ever do such a thing. You have an anxiety disorder, that's all. You're not capable of anything like that.
cheeseduckcheeseduck
- Date posted
- 5y
Crazy that y’all are talking about the onset of OCD symptoms coming up after a sexual abuse incident. The same thing happened with me, and I never knew if it was legitimate. It was an older kid at my baby sitter’s house. In kindergarten. After that is when I started having debilitating panic attacks and horrible paranoia about people poisoning me or being imposters of themselves, out to kill me. These were all related to a danger/death obsession that has since plagued my life on and off. But it’s really wild for me to hear that other people had such a similar onset of OCD
fababeanfababean
- Date posted
- 5y
@CheeseDuck Same. After experiencing that I felt waves of terrible nervous nausea and stomach aches. I became extremely sexual too. As a young child I had a sexual experiences with a girl my age. I still think about her and wonder if she hates me for it. I once believed to be pregnant from all the sexual feelings I had.
fababeanfababean
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. You are kind. I need to find a therapist to help me through this. I do not want it to keep me from possibly beginning my own family one day.
lizzy123lizzy123
- Date posted
- 5y
I have ptsd from childhood sex abuse from children just a few years older than me. I struggle with hocd from it. I was abused by both boys and girls. And saw porn at too young an age. I struggled with pocd for a little bit too. Ptsd and ocd are very similar and can co-exist.
fababeanfababean
- Date posted
- 5y
I too was introduced to pornography at a young age. About 5. I experience violent sexual fantasies that I want inflicted on me.
lizzy123lizzy123
- Date posted
- 5y
They may be memories. Or variations of memories. Thats how ptsd intrusive thoughts work. Fear of things happening because of past events. Are these fantasies unfomfortable?
SoniclenSoniclen
- Date posted
- 5y
You can add me to this list. I’ve been on here before talking about developing repetitive safety behaviours as a child and then being plagued with a wide array of obsessions including sexual abuse, violence, responsibility, relationship and even paedophilia. I have had six months of therapy which has included EMDR- and frankly I recommend far more than something so blunt as exposure. I go against the grain: I think under ocd is often ptsd. These obsessions keep the brains panic under control and if that is threatened then the ptsd threatens to come out the box. The obsessions are manifestations of this. The link between trauma and nasty obsessions makes perfect sense. Explore your traumas, look at what is behind them. Maybe do exposure to drain the compulsive behaviour of life but the origin? Forget it. You need exploratory therapy, and EMDR has repeatable clinic randomised trials supporting is efficacy. Do it, a part of your brain is trying to master the abuse to counter the way you were ‘mastered’. This is natural instinct - brain sees a threat and wants you in control, but you were NOT in control when you were someone else’s sexual plaything. None of us were. THATS where your mind needs new learning.
lizzy123lizzy123
- Date posted
- 5y
Emdr is the way to go with trauma!
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roszip-0toMd...
- Date posted
- 23w
Please help!!!
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
happygirl15
- Date posted
- 22w
POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
please44I
- Date posted
- 21w
Pocd (again)
I know I'm not attracted to children, there's no proof I am and no indication that I am. Yet why do I still get these sexual intrusive thoughts? Why do I still feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel disgusting, distressed and confused when I get them? Why do I get them in the first place yet I still don't feel anxious enough? I'm really confused about this. I'm not going to do anything to a child or think of a child that way yet at the same time It gets all over in my mind. Is it just me like uncovering some attraction to children that was buried and where would it even come from I've always been attracted to men that are older than me (not like grandpas or something but 1-6 years older) so why the hell am I even getting these thoughts now? I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want this to happen. It feels I'm betraying everyone especially myself
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