Holl1

Date posted: 8w

OCD

I’ve been triggered so bad this week I’ve had bad anxiety and feel depression coming on. Last night I had a thought oh let’s plan it and I immediately thought why would I think that and started crying bad. I’ve had these thoughts for 7 months I really don’t know why I’m having these thoughts, if I knew I would work on it. Like people say has something happened in your life for you to have these thoughts and nothing has happened, it all started off from what if thoughts , like “what if I’m a psycho” because I saw this fb post saying introverts are more likely to become psychopaths and it all spiralled from there I started getting thoughts about harm towards others and myself. What do you think guys should I treat it like ocd or do you think there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Harm OCD

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

treat is like OCD ‼️‼️ ive had this same thing in the past as a kid and even as an adult probably with all the other forms of OCD im experiencing right now and it is 100% OCD

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

you are not a psycho and you are not crazy

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

i know that me telling you that isnt going to change thoughts as well but it's true

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

there's a really weird way i lessened that form of my OCD (it never fully leaves you but you can still live your life and have happy moments and function) which i can tell you about it you want

Holl1

Date posted: 8w

@CassP0396 Yes please. There is times where I feel better and can live beside the thoughts. But this week I’ve been struggling bad , I’m so scared of my brain and constantly crying it’s because I was triggered again. I’m praying that these thoughts will go away I hate it so much

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 are you in therapy and/or ERP therapy? So the way I lessened it was thinking like my friend also has been telling me about my forms of OCD right now. When you get those thoughts and stuff think OK well maybe I am like that, maybe i am a psycho (even tho you arent ofc) And then just distract yourself with something else. If you can't distract yourself then just keep thinking neutrally over the thoughts like that over and over

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 When I was a kid I would have bad episodes with those same thoughts and sometimes I would just sit in a room and hide and cry it out because I didn't know what my family would think or others

Holl1

Date posted: 8w

@CassP0396 I’m not in therapy because I’m really scared about opening up and telling them about these thoughts even tho I know it would probably help. I will try this approach thank you so much. How long was you in these episodes for?

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 The thing with OCD thoughts like that is it's all very twisted and it doesn't feel right and that's very normal

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 You should definitely get into therapy, don't be scared because this is actually a very normal thing that people just don't talk about. I've talked to a few different therapists and right now I'm in ERP Therapy and I think it's starting to help a little bit, But it will take time. I also recommend looking into a psychiatrist because they can also help you with these Thoughts as well as maybe give some medication to help your mind. I really wish I had been able to get therapy and/or medication when I had those thoughts for the first time

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 As far as the episodes go I remember it being a very long time on and off as a kid, it was a while ago so I don't remember as well

Holl1

Date posted: 8w

@CassP0396 Do you still struggle with ocd now or has it lessened for you? I had a therapy session the other day and she said I just have general anxiety which I don’t agree with because I feel like I’ve had ocd starting from my teens and they’ve just switched themes.

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 no it's definitely OCD id say (however def get more professional opinions bc im no doctor/therapist/psychiatrist or whatever) because ive always had anxiety and i think ocd too. i was diagnosed with anxiety a couple years ago so i think i have both, but just like youre saying i think ive had the ocd switch themes over the years

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 so yes i do still struggle with ocd, i never knew i had it until recently because it's just peaked again and def in one of the highest peaks ive ever had if not the highest. sounds like we have very similar stories except mine started with the theme youre experiencing now and now has switched to another theme

Holl1

Date posted: 8w

@CassP0396 Yeah mine started off with contamination had that for about 5/6years and then I had a fear of my boyfriend cheating on me to now this theme. I can’t believe all the therapist I’ve seen tho have said I have anxiety and it’s not ocd. Like I get anxiety about other things but this is more of an obsession.

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 also, you need to tell them alllll of your symptoms, look for a therapist who specializes in ERP and go see them specifically and tell them all or at least some or a few of your symptoms. also tell people you trust around you about it (friends, family etc) or at least tell them and your ERP therapist and regular therapist about some of it if not all of it right away. I know it's scary but you arent crazy and you arent psycho and if you cant tell your family and/or friends then please AT LEAST tell your therapist and future ERP therapist. if it's still hard to talk about your symptoms (which knowing how i am likely ik it still will be hard for you to talk about it all too) then please at least just go see an ERP therapist and get some help and methods for these thoughts and stuff. I know how OCD has voices and holds me back sometimes from telling how i actually feel because i think something bad may happen from it but it's a lie and it's literally just OCD

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 likely you have both like me, and that's okay! i also had like a similar thing with germaphobia, the thoughts youre experiencing, and im realizing i had the cheating worry with my bf too (even though obv he would never do that bc he isnt the type at all to do something like that) before i really spiraled into this year's peak of OCD. again likely it's a misdiagnosis/they dont know youre having both and you need to tell them more of your symptoms (as scary as it is, ik you can do it and if you need help or anything im here for you whenever you need it!)

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 youre already reaching out for help on here and im proud of you!!

Holl1

Date posted: 8w

@CassP0396 Yeah I know thank you for your help! It’s really nice to hear other people experiencing the same thing , As it’s difficult to talk to family & friends they don’t understand it fully.

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

@Holl1 of course anytime! 🤍❤️‍🩹 ! trigger warning for below w eating disorder topics and others ! yeah when i tell you it isnt just you i literally mean it it's the same stuff for the most part, and like i said it sounds like we have pretty similar backgrounds with it all. i know it's hard to talk about it to family and friends too, and im here if you ever need to just talk or vent and i would recommend finding a support group or multiple groups also! one thing i found if youre interested and able to do stuff like online or in person meetings w people struggling with the same/similar issues was Obsessive Compulsive Anonymous's online meetings (OCA) which is a twelve step program, ive done a twelve step program before through Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA) and it was really helpful and just a wonderful community in general, they had a writing program as well which idk if that's in Obsessive Compulsive Anonymous (OCA) (i dont think it is) but it was super cool and fun when I was in Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA)! They also have in-person meetings listed on the site (ive only been to the Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA's) in-person meetings but im sure Obsessive Compulsive Anonymous (OCA's) meetings are good too!

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8w

Okay, it's doubtful you're a psycho. What you described appears to be textbook OCD. The What-Ifs are classic. Those of us with pure-o deal with it, including us folks who have to deal with harm OCD. You're also dealing with thought-action fusion, which is where the introvert-equals-psycho thoughts come from. Thought-action fusion is when we have an intrusive thought we immediately begin to ruminate that we ARE that thought, or we'll carry out the thought. People who don't have OCD have intrusive weird thoughts, too, but they just blow them off. We, on the other hand, agonize over them and become stuck on the OCD rumination treadmill. In reality, a thought is a thought is a thought, not an action or a threat, just a thought. Your harm thoughts are no more of a threat than a thought about baking bread, just a thought. Are you in therapy with a trained OCD therapist who used ERP therapy? If not, you may want to think about seeking one. NOCD can help you with this. You will learn to stay in uncertainty and to stay in the present, both invaluable ERP tools. For example, if you have an intrusive harm thought, you can say to yourself, "I accept the uncertainty that I will ever do it, because I don't know the future, and neither does OCD, but I'M NOT DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT PLOTTING TO DO IT, AND I HAVE A CHOICE." You're staying in uncertainty and in the present, which helps to take away OCD's mojo. One last thing: the fact that you're agonizing over these thoughts indicates that you have a conscience and are not a psychopaths. Psychos don't have consciences. Hope this helps.

CassP0396

Date posted: 8w

if you are interested/able to do online/in-person meetings or support groups and want to here's also another resource and support group/meetings online or in-person which my therapist and my "adoptive" uncle both sent me: https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/supportgroups/ i just joined this for an online meeting for support group but they have others that are in-person and some online as well!! just text and/or message the website to get a link for which meeting/support group(s) you may/do want to join and be put on the list for the meetings/support groups whenever they are!! I hope this helps in some way and gives you more support, ik it's all scary but if youre able to talk with even more people struggling with the same or similar things it helps a lot!! :)

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 22w

how do i know if i have OCD?

so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 21w

Hello everyone I need some advice

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 20w

Hello everyone I need some advice/insight please

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month and a half ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most out of absolutely NOWHERE. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

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