Loop about another male while married

Me too! Sometimes I’ll express a OCD thought and it hurts my husbands feelings even just briefly and then I’m a terrible person

Yeah I get caught up in analyzing the thoughts that I can’t stay focused on anything.

I feel that. Been in a cycle for 9 months now

Do you have thoughts about not loving them anymore or just thoughts about others?

I have been looping in something very similar for a little over a year now on and off. It is extremely distressing. It started when a male coworker flirted with me before knowing I was married. I panicked and pretty much ran away and I went home and had a mental breakdown. It's actually the way I discovered I had OCD. I felt like I was going absolutely mad because I was heavily ruminating on the interaction and started replaying it over and over and trying to solve or fix it..and then I was having sexual thoughts about a co worker and sexual blasphemies that made it incredibly difficult to even look at him..the thoughts were so distressing that I would go home and cry... I became so depressed because I couldn't understand what was going on or why I was having them. I almost believed they were true and hated myself more for it because I'm happily married and have a beautiful family and it was far from what I wanted to do and broke my heart even thinking of it. I didn't understand why the thoughts kept coming though...and then when I noticed the thoughts were spilling over into other individuals I realized I needed to reach out to a therapist. I don't think it helps though that I have C-PTSD as well and a lot of sexual trauma. So I think I've developed a cross over of symptoms and someone flirting with me was just the thing that made me spiral into an entire mental breakdown for over a year. I'm still dealing with thoughts but I'm learning to understand now, that they're just thoughts with no meaning and I need to ride with them sometimes..even if they're uncomfortable.

Almost the same thing happen to me

Here is my story. I was addicted to pornography most of my life. Lust has always been an issue. I can see a women attractive or not and my next thought is sexual. I hate that about me. It’s always been this way. Last September I started noticing this pattern of thoughts towards a friend of my wife. Might I add she is attractive, but it doesn’t go further than that. I don’t like her personality but the thoughts would t stop. Then she would pop into my head during intimacy. That was 9 months ago and I can get them to stop. Then in November I’m driving my kid to school and heard this voice or thought say I didn’t love my wife anymore. I also can’t stop it. So now if I hear divorce or words like that it triggers me. I just want my life back.

Tried ERP therapy and hated it. I already sent with what’s causing the anxiety and felt it made it worse. So did antidepressants

So what are you doing now?

I’ve had these too. Ever since I got engaged, I’ve had extremely unwanted comparison thoughts about a coworker. They made me feel unworthy to be married and like I was holding some “big secret” about not talking about them. It’s a long road, but let me tell you the biggest thing OCD uses against you is guilt. I have to remind myself I’ve never cheated on my partner nor would I want to, and I’d never leave my partner. Comparing them isn’t fair and I don’t have to compare or compulse to feel worthy of my husband. Honestly the best thing for me has been to shrug off those thoughts like “hah that’s stupid” and then think of something nice of my husband. The grass is always greener, and as humans we always see attraction. The biggest step is what we do with that. Not acting on it proves we are loyal people. Cheaters don’t feel bad for what they do.

It’s a scary place. Like did I actually somehow stop loving my wife for no reason? I’ve always believed love is a choice and will continue to do so, but doesn’t make it any easier.