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- 5y
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- 5y
It only makes sense because of OCD! I promise, what you’re describing is 100% OCD. You’ve never pictured your life with a woman or had feelings for one. When I was in the closet I had feelings for women, often. I pictured my life with them. I really, really, did. And when I came out it was this moment of “wow, this makes so much sense!” If you’re sexually and romantically attracted to your boyfriend. If you love him and don’t want to lose him. Then I promise you, you are not a lesbian. I am extremely close to so many lesbians and we’ve talked in depth about their experiences and they’ve never loved or been sexually attracted to men. This sounds very much like OCD. And like I said, I’ve experienced both. Being queer feels absolutely relieving and right. If you’re worried, or think you’ll lose him, I’m willing to guarantee you have nothing to worry about, girl! This sounds nothing like the queer experience and everything like ocd lies!
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- 5y
Thank you so much, I'm trying to even figure out if I'm bisexual or not during this time because it all just feels so damn real its genuinely made me question myself. I honestly wouldn't mind being bisexual, it's just of course OCD has to tell me to adopt a full blown lesbian lifestyle. I'm happy youve found a comfort in who you are btw❤️❤️
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- 5y
I appreciate you taking the time to talk about this!!❤️ it’s complex for me because I have HOCD (at least I think) and I’ve had sexual attraction to men, but really only have felt those feelings in my mind and when I would actually have an encounter in real life, I would feel kind of bored and uncomfortable and anxious. I also have a thing where in my life I have become absolutely obsessed with women who are smart, powerful, usually much older than me- it takes over my life and I spend much of my waking hours just thinking about them and feeling so strongly about them, wanting so badly to be part of their life- but the feelings have never been sexual. All of these things make me so confused and it’s just maddening when you’re obsessed with them every single minute of the day ?
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- 5y
Of course! I’m a bi woman. And I swear, even though I had it internalized, I have always known. And when I accepted it, it felt RIGHT. And I know OCD. Because my OCD feels wrong. Coming out as bi felt right and good and there were never intrusive thoughts, even though I was nervous. OCD feels wrong. This never felt like that. They’re completely different feelings. If these thoughts feel intrusive, I’d bet my life that it’s not real.
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- 5y
As a bi woman, is it that you are interested in dating both men and women? Or is it strictly sexual for one gender and romantic for the other?
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- 5y
1-If your bi were you bi from birth? 2-Can you be straight later in life 3-how does the word fag/gay affect you when people say it and make jokes about it 4-Why do lgbt ppl always want straight ppl to be gay or convince them their gay(like James Charles)
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- 5y
@Peridottttt 1) Yep, I’ve always been bi. 2) Nope, I will never be straight. Labels can change overtime but I’ve never met a person in the community who has come out and then later identified as straight. 3) When people use those words in a bad way, especially people outside of the community, it hurts me. It really hurts, we’ve been oppressed throughout history and using slurs just makes me remember that a lot of the world still hates us. 4) We really don’t. We often encourage people and try to make them feel comfortable and accepted if they’re questioning (questioning is different from OCD, I promise! Questioning isn’t intrusive, OCD is). James Charles is a power hungry manipulative person. People like that come in all sexualities, straight included. Some people are just bad. But as far as I go, and the people in the community that I know, we don’t care if anyone’s striaght. We don’t want to convince them they’re gay if they’re not.
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- 5y
@KBright Omggg thank you for taking your time and answering my questions but I’ve got a few more if you don’t mind
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- 5y
@KBright I’ve heard a couple ppl that was bi and now is straight... what?
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- 5y
It’s very much both! I want to date both men and woman, AND it’s sexual for both. And I’m comfortable with that. Also, since you were concerned, I want you to know that having a low sex drive doesn’t make you asexual! I’m very familiar with the community :)
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- 5y
Aww, that’s so sweet! I want you to know that labels are just that - labels. If your primary concern is losing your boyfriend, then nothing else matters! OCD is such a bully, and it targets what we love most. You love him, and that’s that! But I promise no lesbian has ever been in love with a man, haha! You’re going to be 100% okay. ?
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- 5y
Hey thank you for this. For me I know I am lesbian and i suffer form hocd because I only get really uncomfortable about being with a women ( no hate tho it’s for me how I feel) and somehow does not make feel like me. Still somehow it can take me over and make me think I really have feelings girls and that’s annoying I only get anxiety for it and nothing more...sometimes it make me think I want it even I know I don’t so yeah but when I have good moment it’s always about boys and about my real crush who is boy so yeah does not make a sense
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- 5y
Helloo
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- 5y
Are you hocd?
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- 5y
YeH I think not diagnosed but similar thought
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- 5y
Yeah can you invite more ppl with hocd/gay/lesbian, let’s just talk and ask questions and not be judgmental
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- 5y
Thoughts*
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- 5y
I have HOCD, it's rough out here
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- 5y
I’m a part of the LGBT community. I don’t have HOCD but am more than happy to answer any questions if you need me to!
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- 5y
Yeah I don’t talk to anyone In real life about my hocd nor feel comfortable talking to them about my hocd because they would say I’m homophobic and that I’m gay and didn’t know or I’ll turn gay later in life smh ?♀️
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- 5y
I'm worried I'm just Asexual now. Do asexual people enjoy sex? I enjoy it but i have a low sex drive.
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- 5y
Promise I won’t call you homophonic. OCD is sooooo complex. You’re okay, love!
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- 5y
Can I ask what the sexuality is and how you realized that was your sexuality?
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- 5y
@advice? Your * sorry. Please don’t share If don’t feel comfortable sharing.
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- 5y
Today someone told me that hocd is homophobic and scared to be gay, and they asked my why would they be scared of being gay? I didn’t want to argue because they didn’t understand ocd I’m kinda upset that they think we’re scared of being gay and we could slowly over time change our sexuality this was very triggering for me ??
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- 5y
The queer experience is SO different from the OCD experience. I’m happy to help distinguish them is anyone has any questions!
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- 5y
My entire ocd thing started when I was sleeping in the same bed as my bestfriend when we were traveling together and I enjoyed her company in the bed and then I thought "what if that makes me gay?" and then it all went down hill from there. I then woke up in panics with the thought "your gay!" and I would cry to bf because I thought I was going to lose him. I kept researching and researching and my attraction to men started to fade and that made me even worse. I never pictured my life with a woman, nor have I ever had feelings for them but now this is all I can think about and I'm scared I'm just in denial ?? I love my bf and I don't want to lose him. I am sexually and romantically attracted to him but my mind is telling me I'm a lesbian???? How does this make sense. Please help??
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- 5y
Thank for not saying I’m gay because I have hocd or convicted me that I’m gay
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- 5y
I have hocd I hate my life
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- 5y
We can talk about it here periottttt
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- 5y
Do u have any tips ?
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- 5y
First listen to NF a rapper about ocd Second talk to an ocd therapist Lastly calm down, know it’s a lie and smileeeee ??
Related posts
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- 19w
I haven’t been diagnosed with it, but I feel like nothing else describes me better. If you do have this feeling and thoughts, what are some ways to lower your anxiety ?
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- 7w
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
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- 23d
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
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