- Date posted
- 9w
- Date posted
- 9w
Yep. 100% relate. Here’s the ugly but, relieving truth. People don’t care. People don’t have the energy, memory or time to do the worst case scenarios we think about. The world does not revolve around you, us. People are consumed with their own lives, not ours. You’ll be okay ❤️ I understand how you feel. I know it’s hard. But i know you have the strength to let go of this anxiety. One day at a time 💪🏼
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 9w
I am so sorry to hear this! That sounds very stressful. It's completely understandable to feel anxious about someone knowing personal details from your past, especially when those memories feel sensitive or shameful. Many people with OCD experience similar fears about being exposed or judged for past actions, even when the risk is low. If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/i-was-told-i-had-love-addiction-it-was-actually-ocd/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/specialized-ocd-therapy-can-help-treat-the-cause-of-your-depression/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-making-mistakes-ocd
- Date posted
- 9w
I sooo know this feeling, I’ve been there. Believe me there will come a time where you will be over this and look back at this. No matter what you did, people won’t care longer than a few minutes. And if they’re in another country?! Come on, it’ll SO be okay.
- Date posted
- 9w
Can relate and can also tell you that with age comes some experience where you can look back at what you thought would be the most awful thing that could happen and it’s really not awful at all and 3 key things I have learned from feeling “held hostage” by what other people know about me. (1) so what? What’s the worst thing that can happen? People are so self involved they may chat about it for a day but memory’s are short and attention spans are shorter. There’s better things to talk about than your past “indiscretions”. Are you famous will it be on the news? No! (2) when people tell me something not meant for my ears, I immediately feel worse feelings toward them for gossiping than I do about the subject of the gossip. I often wonder about that person’s credibility. (3) my fear is worse than the outcome. In all the years I had the fear of being “outed” by ex friends-it never happened even one time. People aren’t as bad as we imagine them in our OCD brains. As a closing comment here’s something I learned while studying law. When answering a filing during litigation there’s 3 statements that a respondent has to state in the first paragraph of their answer. They are: a)admit b) deny c) no knowledge. You can choose which of these will be your stance IF your “friend” ever betrays you. Example/ I admit I was young and dumb at times. I deny that I was ever at XYZ doing XYZ. Furthermore I have no knowledge of what “ex friend” is talking about as I no longer speak to her. Admit, deny, no knowledge. Like everyone in the free world, you can deny everything. Just relax, it’s not going to happen and if it does, it won’t be as profound as you think.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
My ocd latches on to past mistakes. i fear that God is formulating a situation to “give me what i deserve.” I will string together completely unrelated events into the predictors/indicators that my ‘judgement day’ is near and all my wrongdoings will be exposed for everyone to see and my life will be ruined by finally getting the punishment i deserve. I fear that God is going to use someone who is out to get me, wants revenge, hates me, etc, to carry this out. The associated compulsion is that i keep track of my mistakes and practice arguments for defending myself so that when the time comes im ready for anything. I also punish myself with guilt so that i can “get ahead” on any bad feelings that i would experience on my judgement day. It’s all so exhausting. Does anyone relate? Does anyone have a similar existence? Would love to hear about others’ experiences. Thank you for reading.
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve posted this under a comment before, but if anyone has the time to read it and maybe share their experience or tips with me, I would really appreciate it. This is just kind of the reason why Idk if I only have OCD or if I should get checked for BPD aswell as emotional dependency is (as far as I know) not a common symptom of OCD and neither are excessive changes in emotions/moods. I think the worst part my situation is that one of my biggest and most damaging if not destructive obsessions I developed earlier this year was this constant fear that my friend would lie to me about meeting up with a boy she liked (we are both girls and queer, she didn’t know that about me until recently, but I’ve known that she is and we both sort of crushed on each other). Not just lie, but do it behind my back, keep it a secret, and then maybe even end our friendship without saying anything. And the thing is... that basically happened. Two weeks ago she started acting strange one day out of nowhere, and then I found out (through another friend) that he was coming over to her place. We had already talked about this before, I had cried in front of her and confessed how much it hurt me. I know doing that probably wasn’t the healthiest thing, but my emotions completely overwhelmed me in that moment. And even though nothing physical happened between them, it still felt like a betrayal. I’m not saying it was cheating, obviously not, we’re not in a relationship and it is unfair of me to try and tell her who or not to date, but it still hurts. Especially as weeks ago, we already had a detailed conversation about this. She told me she didn’t actually like him that much, and that if they were going to meet again, she’d be honest with me about it. But instead of being honest that day, she said nothing. Worse, she suddenly stopped talking to me, which made me think I had done something wrong so I completely lost my mind. She knows I’m emotionally dependent on her to some extent, so when she goes cold or distant, I spiral. And that day, I saw them talking and going quiet as I walked by, and then she literally turned to walk into a different direction. I don’t know why but it just crushed me. I thought she was mad at me, and I just felt like I was being shut out and lied to. And as I’ve mentioned, later that day, after eight hours of crying, another friend told me what really happened. She even drove me to her place so we could talk. We did talk, but since then, we haven’t had any contact. And it’s driving me absolutely insane. She told me it would be “people-pleasing” if she didn’t try to date him. And I know she’s kind of right, but she still lied to me. She didn’t care if that meant that she would throw away our friendship, or at least she treated it like it was worth less than a potential (!) relationship with a guy who, as far as I know, didn’t even respond when she told him she had feelings for him. It’s honestly devastating. I feel betrayed, discarded, and totally lost and I know I can’t even logically be mad at her as the reason she didn’t tell me is obvious and as a good friend I should just be happy for her, but my emotional side is so much stronger than my logic.
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- Date posted
- 13w
With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.
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