With ERP, they tell you to sit with anxiety, delay compulsions. I’ve been doing this for some time often seeing a bad trigger at 9am, keeping myself soooo busy all day, delaying compulsions and ignoring the issue but come 6pm when I’m free it comes back stronger than ever and I find the only solution is to do a ton of compulsions. While the anxiety went away while I was ignoring it, at the end of the day it comes back sooo much more stronger. Does anyone see this when it relates to contamination or other erp topics? Thanks.

What if you were to delay once every time the trigger comes up instead of trying to delay for hours. Maybe that's too difficult right now to wait that long. So what if you were to delay when the trigger comes up once and start there, increase your delays till you get to the point where you're in a place where the anxiety is not too high to be able to build up to resisting the compulsions? I hope this made sense, but what I was trying to say is build up how long you delay gradually till you can resist those compulsions. I'm not sure if this can help you.

Yea. So far I go to school and work so if I see a trigger and want to do a compulsion I set it aside for 8-9 hours but at the end of my shift and I’m home I get an anxiety attack if I don’t do compulsions. Sometimes I even wait days. Last week I had a trigger and I’ve been delaying wiping the item for a week now yet I still cannot move past it.

Also I saw the word ignore. Ignoring never worked for me but just letting it be there. I question if we are fighting the discomfort when we try to ignore it, but we take away some of ocd's power when we go towards that fear, anxiety, discomfort and want it which I know is one of the hardest thing to do but it weakens the ocd over time. I think about erp and ocd recovery and although we may have the generation of thoughts our whole life that ocd constructs, what's important is how we respond. If you are doing things while letting the thoughts be there, that is the process of recovery because ocd wants you to attend to the thoughts and fight them, not want them to be there, respond like they're important instead of letting them be there and living your life. As important as they may feel, they are still just thoughts. What if you were to take the risk and just let them be there instead of ignoring them? What if you were to take that time and do something for yourself while letting those thoughts be there? You're working so hard. You deserve it. I hope something I said can help you in some way. I have a few other suggestions that have helped me if you would like to hear them, just let me know. God bless you.

Lark, are you doing something too hard right now? What if you were to decrease the amount of time you delay till you can do nine hours without feeling so overwhelmed and anxious that the only way to cope is doing your compulsions?

Thank you Macy. Your feedback is helpful. I just have a lot going on in my life too. But when I “set aside” the anxiety I’m able to turn off the anxiety too but when I face it again it’s back with a vengeance. Really appreciate your help

Your welcome. I'm so sorry you're dealing with ocd. It is difficult. Do you have days where the anxiety isn't too bothersome and then other days anxiety is really high and you almost always give into compulsions? I'm wondering if there's a correlation between the days where the anxiety is low and I'm doing some sort of compulsions, so it's strengthened on the days where anxiety is high and that's why it feels so overwhelming? Yeah unfortunately having a lot going on can fuel ocd. I'm not sure if it's something you'd want to talk about, but for the past 2-3 yrs I've had a lot going on as well, so I know how it can affect mental health. Sometimes it can help getting it out and It's challenging for people to understand what it's like to live with ocd. If you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here.

Thank you so much Macy. For me, I am triggered by things I saw at a dirty bathroom at the mall where I work. Anytime I go to work now I am triggered despite it being ok or being dirty again. On days where I don’t have work, I don’t have this issue as bad. It’s such a relief in those days but I work 4-5 days a week so it’s still most days of tremendous compulsions and de contaminating.

Your welcome. Do you decontaminate while at work? If so, do you wait any amount of time before going into your compulsions? If you don't decontaminate at work, does any amount of time pass before you do compulsions at home or do you do them right away because you feel so anxious? Hopefully my questions make sense. And I just want to say I don't for the most part deal with decontamination obsessions, but I have a compulsion when it comes to feeling dirty and anxious and giving into a compulsion of taking a bath which has been one of my hardest compulsions to cut out. I can only imagine how high your anxiety is. These obsessions are very anxiety inducing.

Hi Macy. I think everything spreads like crazy even though I know it does not. For example if I see the blood then everything that day is contaminated so I do not. I consider my apt the clean zone so the minute I’m home the crazy routine starts.

Hmm does it help take some of ocd's power away when you allow yourself to think maybe everything is contaminated now, maybe it's not. When I'm ruminating about something, sometimes accepting the uncertainty is the only thing that can get me out of that cycle. So with erp, the whole point is exposing ourselves to the fears and obsessions and resisting compulsions, so if we are giving into the compulsions, it may be fueling ocd. However, if you're noticing the amount of time before you do the compulsion is being delayed a little more each time. That can be a way that may help tackle the ocd gradually so you are able to wait longer and longer each time. However, it sounds like you are feeling so overwhelmed that you are not quite able to do that which is fine and completely understandable. Erp is one of the hardest things to put yourself through, but I'm proud of you for taking that step. We need to start at an area you're not the most comfortable with but doesn't make you feel so overwhelmed and anxious that you give into compulsions. So are there any other fears, obsessions you have that don't increase your anxiety as much as decontamination? Are there any of those you can gradually expose yourself to? For example letting the thought be there and delaying compulsions? If there are not, I would recommend two things: you can do one or incorporate them both. 1. Change the way you do the decontamination compulsions in some manner. Don't spend as much time, use less cleaning products, basically don't do exactly what ocd tells you to do. Vary it in some way. 2. Or do your compulsions earlier in the day, so you're not as overwhelmed when you get home and end up giving in. If you do them earlier in the day, you're going to keep increasing the amount of time you delay them till you're not coming home and doing them. Please try this at your own risk. I am not a therapist, but it seems like right now that may be too high up on the anxiety hierarchy.

And keep delaying till you are exposing yourself to that fear and not doing compulsions at all. But please talk to your therapist about the second one. I don't want to accidentally make your ocd worse. The previous option is something I have done. It helps, and I found it on an ocd help website. The postponing I found on the same website, but it does make it trickier with compulsions in the equation.

Thanks Macy. Appreciate your tips

Your welcome, I hope they can help you in some way. You can do this! You are so strong to have made it this far :)