Does this sound like something I should disregard as ocd? I really struggle with this it’s debilitating I’m scared my conjunctivitis months ago was caused by an std, but I didn’t know I had one in my eye until it turned up. I now have an eye lump in the same eye as the conjunctivitis (it appeared as the conjunctivitis went) so I keep thinking is an std as you legitimately can get them in your eyes. I’ve always had negative STD tests, but my main worry is: “What if I had one in my eye all this time? Maybe I was lucky and didn’t catch one vaginally anally or orally but I was unlucky and did have it in my eye? If I don’t wash my hands every time I touch my face or especially my eye, j could infect myself and my partner and he will wonder where it came from. He will obviously think I cheated, and he will leave me. My life will be ruined.” Everyone says I wouldn’t have it in my eye without it being in my vagina etc first but I can’t help but think “yeah but what if I did though?” Yesterday I tried to resist hand washing before using the toilet as ERP. BIG MISTAKE. I’ve been a wreck since yesterday thinking I infected myself via the toilet paper I touched after scratching near my eye, and now I need to wait a few weeks and get tested again. Can someone please offer some advice? Thanks

No no I know that, I WANT to disregard it, I want to be normal BUT I am not willing to take real risks with mine and my partners health and relationship. That’s why I wanna know if I’m being unreasonable or not. It’s only because you legitimately CAN get std related conjunctivitis I’ve panicked

@uwotm8 this fear is unreasonable. that's how you know it's ocd

@ocdumbass Well that’s my problem I can’t see when I’m being unreasonable and when I’m not!! To me it feels possible so not worrying feels irresponsible and not testing seems selfish

@uwotm8 a good way to tell if you're being unreasonable is to read back what you've said and list the facts. -you have had negative std tests -everyone says that you can't have it in your eye without it being in your vagina (also, STDs aren't that easily transmitted, otherwise everyone who used a public bathroom at some point would have one)

@ocdumbass I worried that I gave myself one from eye to hand to toilet paper to vagina/ass yesterday It seems so real and threatening I really love my partner I don’t want him to think I’m a shit person and leave me

@uwotm8 again, STDs aren't that easily transmitted. There is no STD in your eye, so there is no way you can transmit it to your vagina. Have you shared these concerns with your partner? It might help explain to them that you have ocd centered around this theme

@ocdumbass No itsna touchy subject. We talk about my germaphobia but not STDs. I’m convinced he has ocd himself. Last time I brought this up it caused massive issues and he perceived it to “open a can of worms” and he temporarily wanted to break up

@ocdumbass So I pretend I’m just a germaphobe nowni never mention STDs and fearing it leading to a breakup cuz he doesn’t get it

@uwotm8 if he’s so unwilling to understand something that’s effecting you so much, maybe a break up would be the right decision

@JazSargent Not that he’s unwilling, he’s really supportive- he finds the subject being around STDs too difficult and as his last relationship ended due to cheating, I can’t blame him for being a bit sceptical why I’m so scared

@JazSargent Also I am convinced he himself has undiagnosed ocd ha He seems to want to break up over really daft things if it’s not perfect

@uwotm8 it makes sense why he’s skeptical, maybe try to explain that avoiding the subject often makes those fears worse, plus i don’t think it’s worth possibly risking health (for example if he has an unrecognized std) because of it

@JazSargent He tested negative at the start of our relationship too

@uwotm8 i would just try to explain that avoiding fears like that makes them worse and even bigger the longer you spend avoiding them

@JazSargent I’m 100% not bringing up std fears again because I know what will happen so I’m just doing erp alone for now until I’m approved for therapy

@uwotm8 i’m sorry ://