- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
that's ocd. also if you keep seeking reassurance, it won't get better. stay strong! you can do this!
- Date posted
- 5y
No no I know that, I WANT to disregard it, I want to be normal BUT I am not willing to take real risks with mine and my partners health and relationship. That’s why I wanna know if I’m being unreasonable or not. It’s only because you legitimately CAN get std related conjunctivitis I’ve panicked
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 this fear is unreasonable. that's how you know it's ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@ocdumbass Well that’s my problem I can’t see when I’m being unreasonable and when I’m not!! To me it feels possible so not worrying feels irresponsible and not testing seems selfish
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 a good way to tell if you're being unreasonable is to read back what you've said and list the facts. -you have had negative std tests -everyone says that you can't have it in your eye without it being in your vagina (also, STDs aren't that easily transmitted, otherwise everyone who used a public bathroom at some point would have one)
- Date posted
- 5y
@ocdumbass I worried that I gave myself one from eye to hand to toilet paper to vagina/ass yesterday It seems so real and threatening I really love my partner I don’t want him to think I’m a shit person and leave me
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 again, STDs aren't that easily transmitted. There is no STD in your eye, so there is no way you can transmit it to your vagina. Have you shared these concerns with your partner? It might help explain to them that you have ocd centered around this theme
- Date posted
- 5y
@ocdumbass No itsna touchy subject. We talk about my germaphobia but not STDs. I’m convinced he has ocd himself. Last time I brought this up it caused massive issues and he perceived it to “open a can of worms” and he temporarily wanted to break up
- Date posted
- 5y
@ocdumbass So I pretend I’m just a germaphobe nowni never mention STDs and fearing it leading to a breakup cuz he doesn’t get it
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 if he’s so unwilling to understand something that’s effecting you so much, maybe a break up would be the right decision
- Date posted
- 5y
@JazSargent Not that he’s unwilling, he’s really supportive- he finds the subject being around STDs too difficult and as his last relationship ended due to cheating, I can’t blame him for being a bit sceptical why I’m so scared
- Date posted
- 5y
@JazSargent Also I am convinced he himself has undiagnosed ocd ha He seems to want to break up over really daft things if it’s not perfect
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 it makes sense why he’s skeptical, maybe try to explain that avoiding the subject often makes those fears worse, plus i don’t think it’s worth possibly risking health (for example if he has an unrecognized std) because of it
- Date posted
- 5y
@JazSargent He tested negative at the start of our relationship too
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 i would just try to explain that avoiding fears like that makes them worse and even bigger the longer you spend avoiding them
- Date posted
- 5y
@JazSargent I’m 100% not bringing up std fears again because I know what will happen so I’m just doing erp alone for now until I’m approved for therapy
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 i’m sorry ://
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
- Date posted
- 17w
In September I had unprotected oral sex. I haven’t had sex in five years because even before that I was so ashamed and worried about sex. I finally did it and then a few weeks later while I was at work I started to be very itchy all in my underwear area like up to my butt. I didnt see any blisters or anything but when I googled it, herpes came up. Eventually I thought maybe it was the new underwear I bought and it went away after I stopped wearing them. However it’s returned twice, mostly when I’m really worried about herpes. I know this makes little sense because I don’t thinking about it would cause an outbreak but, either way I’m really nervous to go get tested because I heard there’s a high false positive rate and if I get a positive there’s a huge chance I will just become a recluse and never speak to anyone again. I already have so much trauma with sex, vaginismus, etc. I can’t imagine telling anyone I have herpes and then they 1) don’t want to be with me 2) now know this and could tell anyone they want Even if I don’t have it I was reading it could be asymptomatic and 80% of people who have it don’t even know, so now I’m worried I will get it no matter what sex I have. I can barely handle staying alive with just OCD but now with social stigma with herpes I will feel like I can not even live a normal life. I am already freaking out about it and don’t know what to do. I am worried to go get tested and it saying I have it, and then I’m worried to not and potentially spread it, I’m not even having sex with anyone right now so it’s not like I would. But I’m worried I will forget to wash my hands and touch something and someone else will touch it and then get it. I’m just having a really bad time.
- Date posted
- 13w
I've recently decided to get tested for HSV because I have kissed someone with HSV-1. I tested negative several months ago, but I want to be sure. Today I started feeling a tingling sensation and when I pressed my lips together I felt a bump there. So ever since, I've been trying to confirm if there is or is not a bump, where it is, if it's an early HSV breakout or an early pimple. The web searches say that tingle sensations usually means cold sore, but I know that as of a few months ago I tested negative and I have in fact had this tingle happen for zits along my lip line. So I'm super confused and dying to have an answer. I'm planning on heading in to a clinic for a test first thing tomorrow morning but if I can get any advice or knowledge I would so appreciate it, even if that advice and knowledge is helping me break from my compulsion to fidget with my lip or search up information.
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