moral , event , cheating OCD i need help please !!

I’m currently in a very emotionally stressful situation with my partner. We had a huge argument because I did something I had promised not to do again: I looked at my ex-partner’s profile. To me, it didn’t have any real emotional meaning. It was impulsive, meaningless, almost automatic. But my partner was deeply hurt – and I understand why. I told him about it. We talked. It was hard. But after that, things got even worse for me. I suddenly remembered that it didn’t just happen once. And since then, I’ve been stuck in this thought loop and I don’t know if it’s OCD or not So, should I tell him that it was more than once?”– if I should tell him, even if it might mean he’ll leave me. Should I confess this? I urgently need advice. I don’t know if this is OCD or not – the thought suddenly came to me in that situation. I have been formally diagnosed with OCD. But if I know that my partner would see this as very serious and might possibly leave me over it – shouldn’t I still tell him? I feel so awful and I’m having panic attacks. Is this OCD?

Nl123ehe

Date posted: 6w

So I have this issue of checking not because I want to see my exes page but because I am worried I accidentally followed or unblocked or something and my fiance understands it’s ocd and not cheating. So maybe explain the intentions rather than the actions and ask them to understand why you do this. They should hopefully be understanding and you should work your hardest not to check but if you do, it is okay and forgive yourself. It’s not cheating or a big deal.

marryyyy

Date posted: 6w

@Nl123ehe I didn't do it out of interest in these people as individuals, but really just because. I also looked at what kind of women he followed and which ones he followed, not because it bothered me, but without any ulterior motive. I did it once or twice and looked at the women, but really without any interest. It simply had no meaning for me and was almost like a mechanism. I told him about it once, and then I realized it happened more than once. The situation is very stressful for me. Unfortunately, he didn't understand it at all.

marryyyy

Date posted: 6w

@Nl123ehe it was really just like that not because I was interested in it

marryyyy

Date posted: 6w

@Nl123ehe I really don’t care whether he has a girlfriend or not. I did the exact same thing with my other ex, so I honestly don’t know if there was any OCD involved or not — I just can’t tell. I’m completely emotionally indifferent toward my ex-boyfriends.

curefan6

Date posted: 6w

i feel like you feeling the need to tell him about all the other times you’ve looked at your ex’s profile is a compulsion. i don’t think you need to tell him, i would just try your best not to look at your ex’s profile anymore, even if it has no particular intent. i do the same thing sometimes and it’s only out of curiosity and to see what they are up to in life. i don’t have any desire to leave my boyfriend for them or cheat on him.

marryyyy

Date posted: 6w

@curefan6 I honestly had no intention behind it at all, and he knows that. But for him, it’s about the principle, and this one ex of mine really seems to trigger him. I had told him I wouldn’t do it again, and like I mentioned before, it truly didn’t mean anything to me — otherwise it would’ve been present in my mind, and I wouldn’t have done it.

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

DannyO507

Date posted: 9w

I need help

So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.

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moral , event , cheating OCD i need help please !!

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