So i deleted the app cuz i saw about a girl who lost her hocd and even forgot about it bc she deleted the app and I immediately deleted jt but omg im on my period and i honestly cant, so many thigs have been triggering me and i keep thinkinf about the past i like i litteraly cant stop thinking about how i missed out on life because of this and how im born in this stupid borin cityy where nothing is happening and kids in America are like living the life and here everyone is the same and boring and there everyone had so mych friends and i know it isnt like that for everyone but i just eish i had that. And i wish i could feel christmasvibes and i wish i could feel wintervibes adnd i keep on whining to everybody about how sad this life is and about how i dont feel anything but no ones anderstund which makes perfect sense because i didnt tell anybody shit about whats going on and of course no one will Unferstand and i keep on trying to act like what is happening to me is normal and i keep on being confused like wtf why do i feel like this, is this normal maybe this is just normal to be scared of being gay but it freaking isnt. Idk why im trying to squeeze hocd in a normal box it just inst idk why i keep trying to normalize it so that i can feel okay and normal but it just isnt but theres no on around me who feels like me and it makes me feel alone in this stupid town. I had so many dreams and i wanted to live like it never bothered me thst i lived in a dead town with no teenagers around me because i had freaking big dreams but now that those are gone it bothered me more than ever. What if inwas born in America with big ass school with so kany people and i got to sleep over and party? Than maybe i wouldve never had this because i got to live. I feel so trapped here. But more than ever because im trapped in my own mind that is trapped in this stupid town and i have NO motivation to work hard and ge t out of here because my hocd got me so depressed that i dont even desire to live my dreams anymore. Ughhh i havent been this stressed before and i didnt even start about how ever since hocd i eat badly and i dont excersice but im not gonna start bc im annoying and sorry for this rent..

Sexual Orientation OCD

Esosa

Date posted: 6y

Look, outside of the HOCD, maybe this is a sign that you need to priotitze YOURSELF instead of a boyfriend. I know that we’re all obsessed with getting involved in relationships or feeling the giddiness of a crush on a boy but that’s not all there is to life. You’re the only thing that you have in this world so you might as well treat yourself well. You know what would be the biggest fuck you to your OCD and depression? trying your hardest to do what you love REGARDLESS. It’s not easy, but it’s better to fight for your peace and do things that make you feel uncomfortable than to let this take over your life. Finally, all these kids that you’re looking at who are living “the life,” are most likely unhappy. There’s a life of theirs beyond what they show you. I really hope you feel better.

hocdgirlsummer

Date posted: 6y

Ugh girl preach, the message is soo motivating honestly!! Truly helpfull but (ugh i really cant just take advice without being negative for once?) like i know what u mean doing what u love regardless bur hocd got me in this black space that is like if u dont like boys, if u not urself, you not gon love anything. And no matter what i try it is like that. Everytime im having the smallest bit of fun my hocd says, nah u aint allowed to like this bc u dont like boys so what the fuck is ur life. And than i sit my ass down and be depressed again. So basically there isnt anything i love of am passionate about and im especially not as passionage or creative like i used to be and i am really sad about that. Im sad that i losr my passion and creativity, i know its still in here but damn i Need my old self to get it back. Its not gonna come out of this sad hoe i am. Anyway i do really f w the message u say and i think there are still way more ways to indeed improve myself so i can say fuck you to hocd and deprresion, like eating healthy and exercising, things that in general just healthy wether ur passionate about it or not. So hella motivating and makes me wanna change things up! Thank you :)

Esosa

Date posted: 6y

@hocdgirlsummer No problem. And remember, if your inner voice says “don’t have fun, worry about this,” then say “fuck you” and carry on.

eowyn321

Date posted: 6y

Just remember the word "normal" is an illusion. Everyone has their own baggage, fears and insecurities that they have to deal with. Those aren't what define us. Our willingness to challenge ourselves and to grow from our mistakes is what truly defines us. There are many people out there who are given every opportunity and they still have ocd. Look how many celebrities suffer from depression and/or other mental difficulties. You are not alone, and your ocd doesn't define you. Little goals each day are helpful because once you can start noting little victories, it helps to propel you to larger ones. Don't think about where you want to be, just focus on the next step. It sounds cliche, but it is so necessary to not get overwhelmed and to stay focused. Wishing you strength and peace.

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