i’ve been having harm ocd thoughts for like a week straight. graphic images of hurting my family. i would never ever want to hurt them. i dont think i can do this anymore. they wont go away.
Have you tried ERP? That will help you so much if you consistently do it properly :)
@OneDayAtATimee i haven’t because i’m scared
@elwtdlmlily - Understandable! <3 May I ask what part you are afraid of? I've gone through ERP therapy for both Harm Ocd and POCD. So maybe I can give some advice from my experience
@OneDayAtATimee i guess it’s like the “what ifs” of it all. like if i were to do something to expose myself like hold a knife, what if i were to actually hurt someone with it?
@elwtdlmlily That’s what ERP is all about my friend! You are there to face the fear that your brain has made up. It’s all about accepting the uncertainty and saying “maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” I know that sounds TERRIFYING, but the more you do an exposure, the more you’ll end up not caring, and the anxiety will rise and fall, allowing your brain to see that you can handle it, and it’s just a dumb thought our brain threw at us. But it means so much to you because it completely goes against your values and morals. And that’s why you’re upset about it. ERP will teach to understand that just because you have an intrusive thought doesn’t mean you need to engage with the thought, check things, perform rituals, or avoid. The more you do compulsions and give into the fear, the more OCD will bully you. ERP is life changing, and you’ll be able to handle things so much better! I believe that you can do those exposures and get your life back :) 🩷
@elwtdlmlily Yeah I getchu! :) Thanks for sharing 🫶 1. Ocd is ego-dystonic, meaning it goes against our values. If you don’t wanna hurt someone, you won’t. I know it doesn’t feel like it when our intrusive urges and thoughts are so strong, but we are in control of our bodies and OCD cannot make us do things like we are puppets 2. Thoughts aren’t danger. We often catastrophize and imagine scenarios in our head that have no reflection on the current reality. “Thought-action fusion” is a cognitive distortion in which we think that if we simply think a thought, then that thought is true or will come true 3. We don’t grow in our comfort zones. If we stay in the same place, we won’t make any progress. We have to make changes to see changes :) The only way out of the OCD cycle is to resist compulsions around our triggers (exposures). The only way out is through. Avoiding ERP because we are afraid would be an avoidance compulsion, which feeds your OCD. If you do ERP and recover, you will feel so much freedom. Possibly even more freedom than you’ve ever felt before! ❤️🩹 Doing ERP feels like a risk and it feels dangerous in our heads but it’s not. That’s all a lie from the Ocd. ERP is terrifying and painful and difficult. I won’t lie about that. But it’s soooo worth it. You can reclaim your life back from Ocd
@OneDayAtATimee Exposures also get much easier with time. The beginning is often the hardest time for people but as you get used to the distress of resisting compulsions, you’ll start to feel how much more peaceful life feels NOT doing compulsions. And you’ll realize how painful a life with doing compulsions was. You start to feel more like you’re living life just as the average person would 🙏
It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
hi guys, i’ve been having intrusive thoughts about harming my family for a couple weeks now and it’s been stressing me out so bad, but lately or at least today i noticed that when it happens i don’t get that anxiety feeling anymore when i have an intrusive thought and it’s scaring me so bad so like now im stressed bc im not having anxiety to them. and another thing is that my intrusive thoughts are weird like for example my mom was showing me her new eyeshadow palette and my mind was like “too bad she won’t get to try it.” and it scared me so bad guys like you dont even understand i feel so evil and i hate it especially that now i im not getting the anxious feeling. i hope this makes sense im just a little stressed rn
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