- Date posted
- 5w
Cancer
It’s all I think about everyday. I just stare at statistics and wonder and hope and pray that I live. I don’t know how to stop the research. Plastic has become a huge trigger. I just feel terrified.
It’s all I think about everyday. I just stare at statistics and wonder and hope and pray that I live. I don’t know how to stop the research. Plastic has become a huge trigger. I just feel terrified.
thats real though, i have this bump on the side of my head and i went through a whole spiral on Google about cancer. Please know, you’re most likely okay🩷 You arent alone !!
@jisoosluv Thank you! It’s been like two weeks and I’m just tired
I've really spiraled with health concerns lately too. Googling every little thing, convincing myself I have cancer. Its exhausting! I totally understand
@ccweddell It’s so exhausting!! I’m just scared all the time
@itsmehi17 I know how you feel! I had some health issues recently and convinced myself it was cancer. I expected to have full blown cancer and to be dying. I spent the entire month googling every little symptom. Looking at statistics. Over and over again. Lost so much sleep. And it turned out to only be kidney stones! I was relieved, but any time I have any little symptom I immediately revert back to thinking I have cancer. Exhausting is the only word I can think of to describe it! Youre not alone. We just have to remind ourselves that these thoughts are because of our OCD. I hope you can find some relief soon ❤️❤️❤️
@ccweddell You too! This really sucks the life out of you. I just googled every thing I could like it would help me but I know it won’t
@ladymeni That’s smart! I should try it. It’s just so easy to know everything and feel “safe” even if it costs your sanity
literally me too. i wish it would stop. it’s eating me alive
@Magnumb1 Oh my gosh really? When did yours start? What are your compulsions? I’ve felt super alone in this!
Just a thought, what if you had someone block Google on your phone or computer with parental controls. It would be super hard for you, but google is the worst, you could type in I enjoy long walks on the beach and its going to say it could be cancer. If you can have someone help you and get away from google, it should slowly come down in level. Are you doing ERP? There has to be some good exposures you could do to bring that level down from absolute panic. My contamination fear is not cancer, but I have struggled in the past with googling anything and everything with my son's heart. I called the nurse line all the time, as I was able to resist googling things, I started to get better. I have also tried a lot of other things like hypnosis (both app based and in person with a PHD therapist who specialized in it), cortisol reducing frequencies to listen to, binaural beats, and now ERP and TMS therapy. It can feel so real, and the anticipation is the worst.
I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?
Been off this app for 2 years. Now I’m back with a terrible theme of getting cancer and dying. I can’t sleep, can barely eat, and think about it constantly. I’ve posted on Reddit to alleviate stress, but nothing works. I will die regardless and no one can assure me I won’t get cancer. I just want to stop worrying and feeling so scared all the time. I’m a med student and I want to drop out because I don’t think I can handle seeing people sick and not assuming it’ll happen to me
I keep reading about cancer risks and people who had it and didn’t know and I just went to my doctor but I want to go back already and recheck because I’m afraid. I just want someone to take a look and screen me for breast cancer because I’m getting pain but also I feel like I need screening for colon cancer because I keep clenching. I don’t know what to do I’m crippled by these fears.
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