Someone please tell me they feel like they aren’t gonna ever get through HOCD and be able to marry and guy and have children... because I feel so alone and I just keep on asking myself why won’t God help me... I keep on thinking “what if it’s real” I just don’t know what to do and why this had to happen to me... I used to like guys and even loved a guy once and I just feel like it’s not even real anymore.... idk if I can do this anymore and every time I think I’m getting better I relapse after like a week.

I understand exactly what you’re talking about... I know that I need to go to therapy but I just can’t I don’t want to talk about it to someone else bc I’m scared they won’t understnad even though they would probably. And it really sucks rn bc I’m in college and everyone is so happy and it’s already ruined 4 months of my life and I just don’t know what to do anymore

@annie9 I think it’s also the fear that makes it feel so real... like whne I meet a girl and I’m not thinking about how I have HOCD then I feel nothing but when I am thinking about HOCD and meeting a girl it just hits me and it just feels so real

@annie9 Same I’m in high school and I feel like I’m sad all the time while everyone’s having a beautiful life. With what I just said at first, have you experience some thing like mines? I’m 15 btw I’m so young

@Peridottttt I’ve experienced everything with this disease and it sucks but one day we’ll get through it and I know that. Idk if you’re religious but I’ve been praying to God and lot recently and it makes me feel like I have a safe place just find your safe place and take it day by day... and also I know that I ahve experienced loss of attraction to boys during this disease which is normal but I’ve decided to literally not worry about boys rn and just focus on myself

@annie9 Yassss. 1. Will you go to hell if your homosexual? 2. I can’t imagine my life if I didn’t hear the word “hocd and it’s meaning” what do you think would be different if you never heard the word “hocd” 3. You said you experience everything with this hocd. But listen to my story cause I think it’s rare with hocd and idk if you have experienced it, I tested myself to see if I was a lesbian “would you be jealous if a girl likes another girl?” I didn’t want to be with that girl but I didn’t want that girl to like another girl. Someone told me I was being protective. Bet you haven’t experienced this rare case of hocd cause I’ve asked people and they’ve never experienced something like that

@Peridottttt I personally don’t believe that people who are lgbtq will go to hell. Although some scriptures in the Bible “says it,” God is also forgiving, we are all sinners, and he is the final judge about whether we’ll go to heaven or hell. And since Jesus invited “sinners” to follow him, I doubt that someone would go to hell for liking the same sex, regardless of what’s said about it.

@Esosa I ain’t homophobic but I wonder that because it would be dumb if they when to hell because rapists do worse and lgbt people done nothing wrong

@Peridottttt It’s really dumb that something as normal as love sends you to hell

@annie9 I'm not attracted to boys anymore only girls. It really sucks. I want to believe in God so badly, but OCD took my faith too. It's literally on a war path destroying everything I held dear. My core values even feel like they're crumbling. I wish I had a sign from God that I couldn't just brush off and say it was a coincidence, but I always do that. A few days ago I asked God to give me a direct sign that he was there for me. I wanted to get out of the house so I went to run some errands with my dad. I waited in the car while he went shopping so I could listen to music. A big work truck pulled into a spot directly infront of my car. The spot was actually meant to be the space for handicapped people to get out of their cars with their wheel chairs, but the man who got out of the truck was a disabled veteran who I could tell was having a hard to moving. I didn't want to tell him to get back in his car and move it. He had this little yellow sign on his car that I wasn't able to read without squinting, but it said "if you're looking for a sign from God, this is it." ? I was like ah, that's a funny coincidence. My dad says that it's significant, but I still can't help, but just blow it off. It makes me sad because I used to he a such a spiritual person, now nothing has meaning.

@hateocd123 When you said you aren’t attracted anymore? We’re you bi? Cause that the only way to change sexuality?

@Peridottttt I think it's all hocd and false attraction. We'll see. Maybe I'm just gay now. Idk. I'm trying to be comfortable with being unsure and even pushing it and trying to be comfortable with the idea of being gay. Honestly the idea of being in a relationship with a woman or having sex with a woman makes me want to throw up and die. ?

@hateocd123 Um so what you said earlier.... you said you aren’t attracted to boys but now girls? So you were lying?

@Peridottttt Are you good. Why are you being so unnecessarily rude? No I'm no lying honey. It common for HOCD to cause attraction to the same sex that feels real. I'm saying I don't know if it's real or not. Because of anxiety it's hard for me to feel anything for boys anymore. Sounds like you don't know what hocd is. Are you lying?

@hateocd123 Not*

@Peridottttt Yeah, thanks. You can f right off with that shi, b. :)

@hateocd123 Ohh no I was confused I am good I didn’t understand what you were saying sorry ?

@Peridottttt It's alright

@hateocd123 I have fucking hocd and I know what your talking about I thought you were saying that you were a lesbian just to accept the fact of being unknown, and I got confused cause then you said you aren’t a lesbian and I didn’t know what you were talking about. I don’t want any problems with this app, this app has brought me closer to people with ocd cause I don’t have people in real life to talk about this topic. I love this app, I think it was a misunderstanding for both of us

@Peridottttt Everyone on this app has OCD. You shouldn't be calling anyone a liar, misunderstanding or not. I'm sorry, but I will always defend myself.

@Peridottttt I'm sorry for being so defensive, but being called a liar is extremely triggering

@hateocd123 It’s ok, thank you for forgiving me. And I need to also learn to defend myself, I’ve had trama in my childhood so I need to learn to grow. Oh I thought you were joking at first and saying you weren’t bi so I got confused so I asked if you were lying. I didn’t mean it in the way you probably thought it was. And it’s ok

A lot of straight women have watched lesbian porn.

@hateocd123 Yeah I know but It is still scary