Existential OCD- Seeking advice

Hello lovely community, I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with existential OCD, especially with a fear of life having no meaning. My biggest compulsion is doing something meaningful and checking if I feel different, like happy or elated or fulfilled, which usually leads me to feel the opposite. How do I prevent compulsions that are so automatic? Even if I’m just making jokes or hanging out with friends, I’ll automatically check how I’m feeling. I worry often that my OCD will get “worse” and become unmanageable. I’ll often check my emotions or thoughts or feelings to see how my OCD is in that moment, to see if its getting worse or better, which leads me to constantly be on high alert and very aware of my thoughts and feelings. I’ll also avoid doing things I love or overindulge to check my emotions. Any advice would be appreciated :)

"Pure" OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

I also have OCD and depression. My depression was getting really bad so I started doing BA( behavioral activation ) with my therapist. Basically I will spend an hour each day doing something that I enjoy doing regardless if I’m in a feeling depressed, anxious, irritated anything negative like that even if I have no motivation. Feel whatever feelings I’m feeling during that time but don’t stop the activity. If you haven’t already I would also say make sure you are doing ERP responses to these thoughts. Maybe I’m happy right now maybe I’m not. I may never know for sure and I have to live with that uncertainty. Honestly initially it seemed kind of dumb to me like it wouldn’t actually change anything but verbalizing these phrases in moments when I’m having OCD related thoughts has actually helped me over time.

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 2d

This hit me hard. I completely relate to this and often times can go either way because of this feeling. I either feel like doing a bunch of stuff all at once to make myself feel “real” or meaningful or I just kinda do nothing and it leads to me feeling like it’s all useless. In a non-compulsive way, I find that establishing a healthy routine helps with this. It is a sort of ERP to force yourself to sit with those unpleasant thoughts and compulsions. Do you have any tips that may help? Would love to hear them. :-)

Ella Weeks

Date posted: 2d

@OCDxJosh i don’t really have too many tips unfortunately! my themes switch quickly and i’ve never really gotten “over” existential ocd, rather it would shift to a different worry and i’ve been able to get over those. that’s definitely not to say its impossible to get over existential ocd- i just haven’t had moments of it long enough to develop coping skills. in general though, not engaging is very important for me. i’ve found just accepting my worst case scenario and then just going about my day is honestly the most effective tool i’ve found. even really leaning into it, saying “oh i hope x happens. i would love that” has made all the difference :)

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 2d

@Ella Weeks Yoo that actually makes sense yeah, I like the whole analogy of a robber behind a curtain. “They’re coming to kick your door in but they can’t see the door. If you keep your door shut (push away the thoughts and give in to compulsions) the robber succeeds and breaks your door. If you leave your door open (i.e. you invite the anxiety in and resist compulsions), the robber (ocd) falls on their face. I loooove that mentality, I’m so glad someone else gets it

Dee C

Date posted: 2d

From time to time I catch myself going down the existential OCD rabbit hole. When I do, I give myself some compassion and lean towards accepting the uncertainty (maybe, maybe not). I’ve come to realize that this is my OCD. I choose not to engage with the OCD thoughts or analyze my feelings and instead move on to the things I value. In my journey I’ve learned that I cannot control what comes to my mind or sensations I may feel but I can control whether to respond and bravely face the discomforts. And not to offer reassurance but you can too. I’m hoping this helps you in your journey!

Srtester

Date posted: Yesterday

Does anyone take Wellbutrin with Zoloft because of anxiety? I have had several major life changes and one just recently leaving my job so I started the Wellbutrin to help the Zoloft with anxiety.

Sosa2loud

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

Kind of Spiraling

Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️

mandiocd

Date posted: 13w

A meaning crisis

I’m currently reading existential psychotherapy by Irvin yalom. In his chapter.. “meaninglessness” the first paragraph he describes about a man who ended his life because he truly was overwhelmed with the “meaninglessness of life” and how doing absolutely anything was meaningless because it ended it death. The questions drove him insane and he committed. This was stated in this book and he also stated multiple people did end there life’s during an overwhelming meaning crisis. Please help. If anyone has been through this please reach out. I have stopped going to my nursing shifts. I’ve lost all hope. I believe I’m going through a horrible existential crisis. I’ve suffered from ocd my whole life but I think this might not be existential ocd. I can’t seem to create meaning in my life. I can’t seem to live without us having an inherent meaning. No answers or anything is helping. I’m really struggling. Please.

Existential OCD

mandiocd

Date posted: 8w

Existential ocd / numb

I get married in 5 days. And what’s suppose to be the happiest week of my life, is the most numb, dreadful and ocd-filled. I’ve suffered from what I’d call existential ocd for 2.5 years. It’s been so long with it that I THINK my theme has changed to.. “what if I never feel the same again?” “What if I never recover?” “What if I’m always left feeling numb and disconnected?” The existential ocd started with “life is meaningless thoughts”. They are still there. They’re relentless too. My brain just one day grasped that we die and immediately it led me to belief that because of death and because no one has answers.. life is meaningless. I developed very bad depression. And I think my ocd has latched on to this numb feeling. Let me say, I feel no positive or negative emotions. I can’t cry, I can’t feel, I don’t see a point, I don’t feel connected to anything or anyone. I get married in 5 days and I feel nothing. And let be clear, I love my fiance so so much. He is amazing. Everything I want and more. Everyday I wake up, my ocd is nonstop all day. I really don’t see a point in anything. I would say I have little to no insight OCD. I truly believe this is my life. Any advice appreciated.

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