- Date posted
- Yesterday
need help please ! š«© ROCD
Hey, I really need your opinion ā I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. Iāve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriendās past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him ā but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. Sheās just a good friend of his best friend ā not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times ā once at a birthday party and once at a fair ā just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that sheās not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said thatās just not what heās into. He also said he didnāt ask about her ā these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met ā except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friendsā heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl ā 1.70āÆm. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didnāt? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was ākind of slutty.ā Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didnāt know if she was or not, and that he didnāt care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesnāt care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesnāt make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels āoffā again ā and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I canāt tolerate the uncertainty. Itās like an endless loop. These little āinconsistenciesā ā or what I perceive as inconsistencies ā make me spiral, even though I do believe heās being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesnāt feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and itās really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? Iād really appreciate your thoughts. Iām slowly ruining my own relationship.. Today, for the first time, my partner cried because of it .. I didnāt know how to deal with my thoughts, and seeing him like that made me realize that I really need to change something. Anything that doesnāt make sense to me feels unbearable. And as soon as I talk about one thing, the next thought comes into my head, something else that doesnāt make sense and leaves me feeling uncertain again. I honestly feel extremely helpless right now.. Just as a side note: I was officially diagnosed with ROCD in a previous relationship, not with my current partner, but in a past one.