Help guys

I hugged my daughter. While hugging her, my chest brushed against hers. I didn’t repeat the movement, but I panicked right after and backed away. I felt a wave of fear, guilt, and shame. Then I started spiraling with thoughts like, “What if that was intentional?” or “What if I wanted it to happen just a little and didn’t think of the consequences in the moment?” I didn’t feel pleasure, but I felt completely consumed by guilt and anxiety afterward. I’m scared that maybe I had a slight intention or didn't stop fast enough, and now I can’t stop questioning what it meant or what it says about me. I’m trying to figure out if this was just OCD or something worse. I feel terrified and unsure, and I just want to be a good mom.

POCD

Guest1488484

Date posted: 21d

Hey there again. I think we need to help you make a strategy that will help you figure out when you're analyzing and asking for reassurance. I think what you need to do, whenever you feel the disease taking hold and the panic overwhelming you is to stop for a moment and realize that you're spiraling. If you can identify this, you will be one step of the way to being able to ignore whatever it is the disease is telling you.

Guest1488484

Date posted: 21d

Are you starting ERP at any point? I think you should do it as soon as possible. You cannot let the disease ruin your life in this way.

its_mckenna

Date posted: 21d

Definitely just ocd, you didn’t want it to happen.

Stay.Fluid

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21d

First, I just want to say it will help in the long run to think of your OCD as a difficult, but manageable obstacle (not “the disease” like the individual referred above) Second, I am a fellow mama who struggled for months with pocd and it is something I don’t struggle with anymore at all. I’m actually pregnant with my 2nd! 😃 try your best to not practice any avoidant behavior with your baby or your OCD will keep growing with power. Try to hug your daughter even if it’s uncomfortable. Give your daughter kisses on the forehead or cheek. Snuggle. And third, it would benefit you greatly to practice ERP or use “maybe, maybe not” responses instead of spiraling with “what if” scenarios. Let me know if I can help with some specific examples of things that could help you. You’ve got this!!!

Anony1314

Date posted: 22w

A VERY distressed mom. Someone anyone help!

Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 22w

Is this truly an OCD episode? Just a mom trying

Just a little side note: I know this post has been made MANY times by me. However, I had a therapist respond to my post today saying that I need to reach out to my therapist on this because the context was not clear. This made me more stressed and ruminate more. It's not the therapist fault; but not I wonder if I'm really the monster. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow) but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD?

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 20w

Did I go crazy? Gave into thought. Comment please

My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.

POCD

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