help please !!! ROCD

Does anyone else experience this? Every single look my partner has that somehow involves another woman, no matter who she is, triggers me. Today He looked at a woman multiple times. Today he told me he could understand if I got jealous over a young woman, but in this case, I was jealous about a 45-year-old waitress. We are both in our twenties. He apparently looked at her simply because there was movement, so everything was without any intention behind it. It didn’t come out of his mouth, “You don’t have to worry, I’m not interested in other women.” I asked him why he doesn’t say that, and he said that for him, it’s just obvious not to look at other women. Because he usually tells me that he doesn’t look at other women, and now suddenly he doesn’t say the sentence because it’s obvious to him and that’s why he doesn’t say it. Every look triggers intense jealousy in me. I also find myself worrying about contradictory statements, like when he says he doesn’t look at other women, but then there was a situation where he did look — and I can’t just let that go because it makes me feel so uncertain. Should I use ERP here, or does this sound like a real relationship problem? I’m really struggling to tell whether this is OCD or not, and whether I should practice ERP or talk to my partner. In my eyes, it’s a contradiction, and I can hardly stand not bringing it up. Next situation : I’m having a really hard time figuring out if my reaction is OCD-driven or if it’s an actual relationship problem. Some time ago, my partner and I had a conflict about him looking at a woman. At first, he said he didn’t look at her and didn’t even know who I meant. Later in the conversation, he said he had looked in that direction, but not at her specifically. For me, this feels like a contradiction — first saying he didn’t know who I meant, then saying he looked in the direction. My mind instantly goes to: Was he lying? Was he hiding something? and I can’t stop replaying it. I’m stuck wondering: • Is this just a change in wording/memory that I’m overanalyzing because of OCD? • Or is it a sign of dishonesty that I should address in the relationship? It’s so hard for me not to bring it up again to “get the truth,” and the uncertainty feels unbearable. This is why I’m unsure if I should treat it as an ERP opportunity and let the doubt be, or if it’s something that should be openly discussed. did it sound like OCD? should i do ERP here or should i talk about it ? i’m so helpless right now.

Relationship OCD

Jasmijn

Date posted: 2d

Hey, to me this really sounds like an ocd problem. You don't have to feel bad about yourself, because no one can really control the way their ocd affects them, but it shouldn't affect your partner so much. If you really think there are problems in your relationship that the two of you can't solve you should maybe look into relationship therapy. But to me, personally it sounds like you are over analysing something you can't be sure about. The situation you described is not a contradiction; he looked into a direction and did not specifically look at the people in that direction, including that specific woman. Does your partner know about your ocd? If so, maybe you could discuss this with him by asking him whether he thinks it's an ocd problem. It might help both of you understand

makingalistc...

Date posted: 2d

OCD attacks the relationships most precious to us. I have jealousy OCD themes with my husband, but I have to remember that he's never done anything remotely unfaithful. Every relationship is different, but to me looks are not an unfaithful act

danielleotero

Date posted: 2d

as a woman in her 20’s in a relationship i can relate to these feelings of uncertainty and the constant urge to over analyze situations - wondering if my partner is “contradicting” himself with the fear i will catch him in a lie i’ve learned over the years that while worrying about being hurt by someone you love is natural, some fears and anxieties are just that. fears and anxieties - they hold no place in the real world looking at people is natural as a human being it is natural to look at the people around you it’s even natural to recognize that there are attractive people around us sometimes however, i don’t think this means you or your partner are doing anything deceitful or ‘bad’ if you one day find yourself doing that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i understand that feeling jealous isnt something you could control and i’m sure if you could you would choose not to feel it but what might help is just understanding that as a human being there is nothing inherently wrong being done here <3 much love

danielleotero

Date posted: 2d

also - i do think this is OCD related you shouldn’t punish yourself for feeling this way - continue to try and be open/communicative with your partner or therapist (whoever you choose to confide in with your struggles)

robinocd

Date posted: 2d

Ultimately, he has to look at women. In life, in his job, walking down the street. They are people too, and he will interact with them. This definitely sounds like OCD and not a relationship issue.

marryyyy

Date posted: 4w

is this ocd??

Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)

Relationship OCD

marryyyy

Date posted: 11d

ROCD need help..

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..

Relationship OCD

marryyyy

Date posted: 8d

need help please ! 🫩 ROCD

Relationship OCD

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help please !!! ROCD

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