anyone else on here with hocd, can we talk? please

wow it’s so crazy how much we relate! but i’m glad because i thought i was the only one who had all these crazy triggers and thoughts. so thank you! i feel much better knowing i’m not alone

@kaysf literally earlier i was sitting with my mom eating dinner and i got the thought of “what if i came out to her rn” ans i suddenly went omg no in my head and got all scared

yess, this is exactly it! thank you for sharing.

@empathmind No Problem

what’s up?

thank you for responding! so my hocd tells me that i’m bi. and ik that recently, beinf bi has sort of become a trend i guess. so i keep seeing all this stuff on social media about these girls saying they always just thought girls were pretty and what not, just the normal thing for every girl. but then they tried stuff with a girl and realized they were bi. and that’s my biggest trigger with this. i fear that i’m bi and i don’t know it and one day something is gonna happen and i’m gonna realize it and idk how to het over this trigger or at least lessen it

@kaysf i totally get you. i made a post about this the other day. on tiktok there are a bunch of videos about girls talking about how they found out they were a lesbian/bi. there are also a bunch of posts where ppl are saying “oh if you like ____ then you are bisexual”. for example, if you like harry styles that automatically means you are bi. i get super frusturated with these posts because they are just making a joke/stretching the truth but they aren’t aware that there are people like us who will completey internalize these comments. i obviously don’t expect them to know..how could they? but people tend to make jokes/stretch the truth on social media for comedic purposes which is a trigger for us.

@kaysf and i worry about the future too. im constantly questioning and worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet or will never even happen. the thing is with ocd, is it a form of trying to take control but like x10000 aha. we obviously can not control the future so that’s why you are always seeing the phrase “except the uncertainty” on this app. i truly believe that this is what has to happen in order to overcome ocd. but this is WAAAAAY easier said than done. it’s a process.

@empathmind that’s exactly where i saw this. everytime i’m on the fyp i see this stuff and it triggers me so much. i’m scared all these things are gonna happen to me. i literally have been cuffing my jeans since second grade and now that it’s a thing that’s a stereotype for bisexual people, i don’t do it idk this stuff just scares me cause it makes me think that i’m gonna realize i’m bi later in life

@empathmind it is. it’s just so hard because my mind tells me that if i accept uncertainty i’m just gonna realize i’m bi

@kaysf i totally get it, the fyp is a risky place. what i have noticed about myself, personally, my ocd makes act almost like a sponge. if someone says that they are this or experienced that, i automatically internalize it and believe that i am the same way. this happens with almost anything. so when someone says they are bisexual because _____, i automatically and subconsciously try to relate myself to the statement even if it doesn’t make any sense. and this isn’t exclusive to HOCD. i remember one time i was watching that ted bundy documentary on Netflix and i got so triggered because i was suddenly trying to convince myself that i could become a murderer. like whaaaat? i think ocd latches on to your biggest fears and forces you to ruminate on them to like ..control the situation? idk it’s so messed up.

@kaysf i totally get it. im too afraid to just let my mind have the thought of “i am bi/i am a lesbian” because i think that would mean that i am validating it.

@empathmind exactly! like when i used to read online about hocd as a compulsion it said that the difference between hocd and being in denial is that when you’re in denial you get anxiety when you think about coming out and with hocd you don’t. but recently i get intrusive thoughts of me coming out and i get anxiety but i get anxiety bc i’m like omg no why would you even think that why would you need to come out if you’re not bi and all that so i get anxiety about “coming out” bc i’m like why would i do that if i’m not bi but bc i read that online it makes me think i don’t even have hocd and i’m just in denial