Pocd real event help

in a community I stay at consistently a child and her mother began speaking to me and I could tell the child wanted to be my friend which is fine and the mother was having the child speak to me and make friends with me (she is very little im assuming 8) . To them I am their friend u know because they are little. They are my friend also but like a little kid friend? I guess haha but it does make me feel weird and it makes my pocd act up and my brain tells terrible things at me but I do ignore it. I feel sortve a maternal feeling towards the child and another baby they bring around. They are so adorable and very sweet. They are innocent and remind me of when I was little. But I do feel weird interacting with them or having these feelings bc I grew up in a bad and weird sortve family that being around kids makes me uncomfortable. I do get baby fever but ive never felt an actual care for a child besides my little cousin. Now I feel it slightly for these two because they both have such childlike wonder and I hope it never changes!! How do I get over this? They asked me to baby sit as well so I don’t really know what to do. :(

mindfullymaddie

Date posted: 22d

if you dont feel comfortable baby sitting it is more than fine to tell them you cannot and use whatever excuse you like but i do think taking the offer up could act as good exposure therapy! youre doing good for being around them anyway. ive always told people i dont get on/ im scared of children but i dont tell people its because of my harm ocd its nice to see you feel maternal and caring towards these children. what helped for me is my older brother having a daughter she is lovely and my best friend now baby sitting her helped me get over my harm ocd a lot when she was younger and things are a lot easier now she is older

dee012

Date posted: 22d

@mindfullymaddie I did tell her that I do have issues being comfortable around kids or handling them the right way bc I had a dysfunctional type of family so I don’t really wanna say or do the wrong thing and I was an only child but I also told them that babysitting my baby cousin helped with that a lot and so does her letting her daughter play with me and stuff. After that I think that’s when she brought up the baby sitting. I just feel weird and I am also regretting saying that part as well. I didn’t bring up ocd tho. I just get scared that any little thing I do is pdo or harmful. It drives me crazy lol. But im getting better at handling it. I just have avoided kids a lot and wonder if this exposure would be good I do get these weird disturbing “what if” thoughts Like what if I hurt them or do something bad There’s no proof it just scares me

mindfullymaddie

Date posted: 22d

@dee012 if you’re comfortable telling her you have ocd that’s a perfectly fine reason to say no. if shes polite which she sounds, most people wont ask further details and you wont have to tell her the nature of your ocd thats to tell a therapist not a friend also i can understand how telling her the nature of your ocd may erupt more questions/worry/concern on her behalf as long as you dont actually want to act on nasty thoughts let them be what they are! just thoughts :) but if you feel comfortable the options there! you can even say something like “you know how you asked about babysitting? id love to in the future if thats okay with you! but right now im struggling with my (mental health/ ocd/ etc) so im going to have to pass you up on your offer but definitely/maybe soon!”

dee012

Date posted: 22d

@mindfullymaddie I think the thoughts just being there freaks me out. Like thoughts alone is enough to make me not even want to be around children anymore. I think this theme is my worst one. Because harm OCD, like the nature of the thoughts are more acceptable under intrusive thoughts umbrella, but POCD thoughts alone cause me to feel disturbed and anxious. I think another fear of mine is the groinal response . I’ve had it happen before plenty of times but I don’t want it to happen when im baby sitting

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

POCD and changing baby diaper - please help

Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.

lissamls

Date posted: 17w

pocd? help

i've been very sad these days, i saw a child on TikTok and i had thoughts calling her hot, it seemed like i liked it and i was very anxious and very scared. i cried a lot, i kept replaying the video several times because it seemed like i was attracted to her and only when i was sure that I wasn't attracted to her i skip the video. but then i went to watch the videos of this kid again to see if i was really attracted or not again and i got nervous about being attracted to her "chest" and i kept looking to see if I was really attracted or not 😭 i wasn't, but one thought scared me a lot, which was "you were only attracted because it looked like an adult's chest." i was very nervous, i cried a lot because of this. I'm not attracted to children, I never have been, why does it seem like i am? i don't want to look at children anymore, im too nervous. i'm not attracted to her, all of this makes me sick and sad, it's all very uncomfortable and scary. but I've been questioning myself a lot about the last thought, i can't stop questioning myself. every time i see a child my brain asks if i'm attracted to them or if i think they're pretty. i can't stop crying (sorry for any mistakes I'm using a translator)

roszip-0toMd...

Date posted: 15w

Please help!!!

TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Pocd real event help

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community