notsohappynow

Date posted: 29d

cancel culture

has anyone ever been cancelled or struggles w cancel culture ocd? can you share your thoughts on it? i was cancelled a long time ago online and its sort of shaken my confidence and seriously triggered my real events ocd and given me lapses in my memory as a result. i don’t trust people anymore bc of how much i lost and was accused of for things that were either out of my control, or misinterpreted against my intentions. would love to hear some thoughts from yall whether similar experiences or even similar fears. thanks :)

Help Seeker

Date posted: 21d

Cancel Culture can be really scary when you know that you did something bad in the past. What makes it worse is that even though you actively learn from your mistakes, course correct, and become a better person than you were before. The people pushing cancel culture either a) don’t recognize that people make mistakes, b) simply don’t care, or c) Haven’t really lived long enough yet. Keep in mind that a lot of people who push cancel culture are relatively young and probably didn’t screw up yet. There will always be moments that we WILL screw up down the line. And in the words of Superman himself, it’s a part of being human. But what I think really matters in the end is whether or not that we learn from our mistakes or not. That’s what I think will define us at the end of the day.

notsohappynow

Date posted: 21d

@Help Seeker i appreciate this, thank you. we were all relatively young, and while i’ve grown, i feel like those involved have not changed. it’s just saddening to see that im the constant villain no matter what. but, it’s been so long that i just don’t care anymore.

elliss2

Date posted: 28d

I get you I don’t know how many things (that people think about me) are actually grounded in reality, but no one should make someone else feel like trash. You can distance yourself or decide to not have contact with someone, but totally leaving them in a bad way is not helping (preaching this to myself) Of course we all hurt others unintentionally, but let’s try to keep it at a minimum Sorry you’re developing trust issues because of that. It’s totally relatable that this happened as a result, and it really takes some time to redevelop it.

notsohappynow

Date posted: 28d

@elliss2 thank you so much, i appreciate the advice. i need to accept where i made the mistakes and recognize that i was also a victim. js hard when i have such serious gaps in my memory bc of what happened eta: i haven’t broken the no contact as its been two years since that occurred and, while they’ve attempted to harass me on my phone number ive js continued to stay silent for both their peace and mine. just not a safe safe to break it and risk someone getting even further hurt

Codykat

Date posted: 28d

I had a pretty intense fear of being "exposed" as well. Only thing is, if I am to blame, then I assume many many others are as well, so it made me much less afraid because I know for a fact that quite literally millions of other people did the same thing as me, so it makes me feel slightly more at ease. Also the fact I was able to forgive others who had wronged me makes me have slightly more compassion for myself as well. Its much harder to forgive ourselves though, I understand your fears completely. If someone doesn't like us, they can take many things and frame them as deliberately malicious, when in fact they were not. Just know you are not alone, a community will always have your back. 🫶

notsohappynow

Date posted: 28d

@Anonymous thank you so much :( this is so comforting to hear

Codykat

Date posted: 28d

@notsohappynow Of course. You are absolutely not alone. Ocd is so isolating, but I know there is a good life full of love and care we are all capable of living.

elliss2

Date posted: 27d

@Anonymous Wow, I like your response 🙏🩵

Help Seeker

Date posted: 21d

Also, another reason why some people push cancel culture is because they have been harmed themselves, sometimes severely. And their actions can sometimes be a response to the trauma that they have received in the past. Another aspect that may have been a big source of fuel for cancel culture is the way that we put people that we look up to, especially artists and celebrities, on a pedestal. We have this expectation that they are the best people in the world, and when they fall short, it feels like a betrayal of trust. Thus, they act on those emotions. And sometimes, it IS justified when it comes to actually really bad people. But when it comes to people who realized they made a mistake, learned past it, grow from it, and have actively made themselves better for the people, it can be devastating because of how much that stain sticks. Digital footprints are a big example of this and it hurts like crazy

King Silly

Date posted: 17d

Yes I have

notsohappynow

Date posted: 16d

@King silly it’s so draining

King Silly

Date posted: 2d

@notsohappynow What have you been canceled for? You don’t have to answer but it’s nice to know that someone else here has been in the same shoes, I had a beware post made about me

notsohappynow

Date posted: 2d

@King Silly mine was regarding a lot of false accusations thrown at me whilst completely manipulating my messages in order to paint me as the villain. it was honestly a very dark period of my life. hbu?

str4berrycoo...

Date posted: 24w

a question about cancel culture OCD

like the title says, i also suffer from cancel culture OCD, even more these last two months in which i have noticed that several people have been deleting me from social media, in fact two days ago i had a spiral as someone recently blocked me. i won't go into it to avoid the compulsion to confess but basically i had issues before with my ex and some of his friends that he himself ended up involving, even though we are on good terms he made sure to make me look like i was the problem and several mutual friends have been detaching themselves from me. the thing is, i see many people say that to fight their cancel culture OCD they delete their social media and then just. disappear. but i don't want to do this - i don't want to hide, i want to stay in the public eye and create things, in fact, i am an artist. but since the last year now i live in constant fear and also somewhat sensitive to what others think of me thanks to the rumors about me and i'm afraid that one day i might be "exposed" or something like that; and i also feel like i'm "pretending" to be a good person all the time. so, with what i already said, how do i deal with this without having to resort to deleting my social media? i think that exposing myself every day and continuing to post things on social medias despite the constant fear and guilt i feel would count as ERP, right? thanks.

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 24w

ocd + interests + online discussions

i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???

"Pure" OCD

Givenup

Date posted: 18w

Pocd and youtubers

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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