- Date posted
- Yesterday
need help in this situations please !
Hey everyone, I’d like to get your perspective on whether this sounds like OCD or if it’s something I should bring up again in my relationship. last week there was a situation with my boyfriend: I assumed he would pick me up from work because he usually does. This time he didn’t. I knew from his location that he was at the bar. When I asked him if it was more important to him to stay at the bar and watch his friend play the slot machine, he just gave this kind of caught/embarrassed smile and laughed. Then he said that the real main reason was his knee pain. He did actually injure his knee a few days before, but the day before this he had still picked me up despite the pain, and by now the pain wasn’t as bad anymore. So for me it was clear: the main reason wasn’t his knee, but that he preferred to stay at the bar. In the end, after I kept pressing him, he finally said: “A little bit.” → meaning that he admitted he wasn’t completely honest with me. But that didn’t come out on its own, it was because I pushed it out of him. After that he justified it again, saying that he was still basically honest, because the knee pain was true as well. And at the very end he said that in his view he had actually been honest anyway, since he did say from the beginning that he was at the bar and found it interesting. I want to say that my boyfriend is generally a very honest and good person. That’s why it’s even more confusing for me that I can’t let go of this situation. I keep feeling like I want to bring it up again. So I’m asking myself: Am I reacting too intensely here because my mind goes straight into “all or nothing” thinking? Does this sound like OCD-driven distrust/need for reassurance? Or would you, in my place, bring it up again even though we’ve already talked about it? This situation really triggered me, and I keep ruminating about it. another situation from yesterday : yesterday there was a small situation with my boyfriend that I can’t stop thinking about. We used an online spin wheel to decide who should get ice cream. His name came up, but he didn’t want to get the ice cream at first and tried to talk his way out of it a little. At the beginning, he only said we would do one spin, then later he suddenly said he thought it would be three spins – and shortly after emphasized seriously that he meant it that way. For me, this felt completely contradictory, because I could tell he really didn’t want to do it. It’s not about the situation itself, but that he says he was honest, yet it doesn’t sound honest to me at all. My mind keeps spinning on it, while other people would probably just laugh it off. Does anyone else experience this? How do you handle moments where words and actions seem to contradict each other, even when your partner genuinely means what they say? Does that also sound like ROCD to you? need advice feel like shit..