Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

POCD friends help please

I hate when my daughter tries to hug me. I try to avoid it if I can but yesterday I couldn't. She was coming in for a hug and I tried to stay still. I had a thought come up that if I turned a certain way she'd brush my bottom with her hand when she hugged me. I felt like I wanted to do it and turned my body. When she hugged me, her hand did brush my bottom and I panicked after she hugged me. I feel so much guilt for this. Why did I feel like I wanted to do this and let it happen? I have POCD, but this is just too scary to understand (edited)

POCD

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

I have acted on intrusive urges too at times and it is hard but remember as long as your intentions were good you are okay.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal Thank you friend. My intentions didn't feel well during the moment. But then after I panic and wish it didn't happen. Is this the same thing? Did I hurt her by doing that?

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 No you did not hurt her. But I know from your post that you not mean harm.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal But in that moment I wanted it to happen or it felt that way. You see what I'm saying?

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 I think that is the ocd I know from your distress that you meant no harm.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal You think that's OCD? Like had that ever happened to you before?

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 Yes like I have acted on my intrusive urges before and it really scary but as long you realize after you have no harmful intent or no sexual intent you are fine.

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 I know i didn't because I know i would never want to harm and I never had that sexual intent.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal Thanks friend. Did your OCD make you feel like you wanted to do that in the moment though?

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 At times yes.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal Do you believe mine was OCD too friend? Sorry for all the questions.

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 Yes but you did not abuse her as you had no harmful or sexual intent so you are ok.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal Either way I'm okay because the action wasn't abusive anyways though. Like I'm so scared friend

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 No it wasn't.

@sophiaevidal

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 I dont know i think you said you are seeing a therapist why dont you talk through this with them.

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal I'm sorry friend. Yes

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@@sophiaevidal So sorry for asking so many questions. I apologize

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous THANK YOU!! Thank you thank you!! Even if it felt intentional because I chose to turn? It's still OCD?

Knifed

Date posted: Yesterday

You didn’t mean it in a sexual way, intrusive thoughts mixed with ocd is a nightmare. I had the same problem knowing i’d never hurt my niece i still was terrified and never went near her because of the thoughts i’m doing better now. and i know you got this. You’re an amazing mom keep your head up

Anony1314

Date posted: Yesterday

@Knifed But it felt like I meant it. And then I turned. Still OCD?

Knifed

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anony1314 intrusive thoughts are monsters with that. if it goes against your morals that’s not what you want to do. I promise you that you’re good and truly i see that you’re an amazing person

Anony1314

Date posted: 25w

WHY ME? POCD MOMMA!! Do I even deserve to be hers?

My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had a**halted her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why other than the thought doing it but I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING out. Here I am not sleeping yet again! PLEASE someone tell me if I am a monster. Did I do anything wrong here? Do I need to turn myself in for hurting my daughter? I was doing SO well! What is this?

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 21w

VERY stressed and ruminating. Please comment POCD

Please read and comment kindly. Really looking for support. My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.

POCD

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