Has this made you guys rlly depressed? Like I’m just trying to accept it and I’m super depressed cause I don’t want that. I’ve read if you’re depressed and anxious about it, than you’re doubtfully that. I’m just scared.

But I’m not getting any relief from trying to accept it cause I can’t. It’s just not me :( I would never date another girl and I’ve always wanted to date a boy but now it suddenly seems like I don’t

Oof you saying latent just triggered me. It’s okay though. I freak out about that as well.

Ya....I’m trying to but it’s like I can’t and then it’s like my mind is trying to force me to like something I don’t enjoy and know I don’t. Like I don’t like it but my brain is like “are you sure?” And ya:/ does that sound like hocd?

I mean not my mind but my ocd

Okay I’ve had ocd since I was like 7 or 8, but I wasn’t diagnosed until I was about 15 and it was kind of a shock but made a lot more sense lol

@anne_powell Same thing except I was a lot older when I found out I had OCD. When I realized that’s what I had it was like someone opened a window and let the air back in. You’ll be okay - it takes some time and some therapy (even self coached therapy- I strongly suggest ERP) but honestly you can overcome OCD, especially this type.

I’m confused by your question but OCD made me very depressed for a long time because I didn’t know that’s what I had. I would always tell myself that I wouldn’t have these thoughts if I wasn’t gay. But that’s what ocd does, it really attacks your identity so you doubt the most basics things about yourself.

Noo what I meant was if you’re depressed you’re gay and sad you can’t be with someone of the opposite sex than your not gay

@anne_powell Oh okay I got it! Thanks hah

@blech123 Have you overcome this? I’m scared I’m never going to get better. I’m scared I’m never going to have a future with my bf and I’m so depressed ?

@Ocdandme123 I’ve overcame it a multitude of times it just keeps coming back for me:/

@Ocdandme123 I have, for the most part! I’m not sure how old you ladies are but I’m almost 31 and I’ve had OCD since I was maybe 7 or 8. I started having HOCD themes when I was about 13 but wasn’t diagnosed until I was about 25 years old, that’s almost half my life thinking I was crazy. My own mom, who is a social worker, didnt even know that HOCD is a thing or that Pure O is a condition. Unfortunately most mental health professionals aren’t trained to treat OCD, that’s why if you’re considering therapy it’s really important to go to someone who is certified to treat you (look for someone who has CBT or ERP certification). Good place for resources is the OCD Center of Los Angeles - reading one of their articles and taking the test on their website was such a relief. I was able to actually go there for treatment too once I moved to California. I’m now married to my absolute best friend and he’s an amazing husband who understands I have a mental health condition that isn’t easy to understand (haha I know that sounds funny). It still creeps up now and then (anxiety disorders like OCD like to take advantage of downtime, that’s why it’s hard for people like us to relax ? so every now and then I’ll relapse) but because of therapy I’m really able to remind myself that it’s OCD and these things are further and farther inbetween. It’s hard because people with OCD tend to place heavy importance on our reactions (if this happens it MUST mean this) but in reality our brains are reacting to all kinds of stimuli, and they can have reactions to just about anything. The more mental importance you place on something (checking groinal response, questioning yourself mentally, etc), the more you’re feeding into OCD. The point of this unnecessarily long post is that, like most things in life, if you take the time to understand, acknowledge, and treat it, you can 100% move forward with your life. The hardest thing for me was that I always thought things were black and white, but in reality they’re mostly on the grayscale and accepting that was a big change for me. I hope this helps!!!

@blech123 Phew I developed it first at 13 as well. Also can ocd try to convince you that boys are gross? I used to fantasize about kissing them and now when I do I freak out and get anxiety and I think my mind went to thinking they’re gross?? Idk cause I get turned on by them and stuff. This is the part that scares me so much. I want to end up with a guy. But I feel like my ocd doesn’t want me to. Like the thought of kissing a girl is gross to me but than I feel like I’m lying to myself. Have you ever heard or experienced something like this?? I’m so scared

@anne_powell ^i was also sexually assaulted by a male as a kid if that has anything to do with it. But there is one guy who I was never scared to kiss and that’s my ex who broke my heart 2.5 months ago and now I’m even doubting him:(

@anne_powell Yep, that’s a classic OCD trick. I’ve absolutely experienced this, and I think most people with this subtype probably have to some extent. It’s hard to relax and just enjoy the experience when you’re overthinking every second of it. Unfortunately as women we tend to have most of our arousal mentally - we want to emotionally connect with a man, and that’s a big turn on for us (of course guys have it easier ?) - so when we have a mental condition that causes that to backfire so to speak it’s really easy to go down the OCD rabbit hole. It was hard for me because I wanted to feel sexual reactions to men but at the same time I associated a lot of those reactions to symptoms of OCD. I didn’t know I had it for over twelve years so it was definitely hard for me to have a normal sex life when it was less anxiety inducing to just not have any sort of sexual interaction period. Fortunately my husband is super understanding and we took things sort of slow in the sense that specific actions or positions that might trigger me we steered clear of. In a weird way though I’m sort of grateful that I had OCD because it made me slow down and really learn about what I wanted my sexual life to be like. I now enjoy a pretty normal sex life albiet a few OCD thoughs popping up now and then ?

@anne_powell You poor thing, coupling OCD with sexual assault is definitely a double whammy. But being a survivor of assault doesn’t change your orientation.

@blech123 Okay it’s like my ocd is trying to convince me that guys are gross and making everything about girls when I’m like “but I find guys attractive!!” Then I get anxiety about finding one attractive and it’s so scary. Like the female body I think is beautiful but I’ve never wanted to do anything with it....especially going down on a girl makes me sick (or so I believe....my ocd doubts a lot). But guys I’ve always been turned on by them and legit like two months ago I was dancing with this guy and I got turned on and I was like alrighty then. And ya idk it’s like when they turn me on now I can’t just enjoy it I have to get all anxious about it (but I also get shy because I was sexually assaulted). Like even as I write this I’m scared that I’m lying and am just in denial. But that makes a lot more sense with the mental thing.....I was really attracted to my ex cause we were so close and I loved him so much. Another thing, did you get groinal responses with intrusive thoughts but you know it’s not genuine arousal? (There we go again thinking I’m lying; oh also, I’m scared I do think boys are gross but I don’t wanna hocd has messed me up:/)

@blech123 Ya, I was sexually assaulted for 3 years and witnessed the man sexually assault about 7 other girls and rape my best friend soooooo that kinda stuck with me. I developed ocd then, ptsd, anxiety, depression and ya I’m a basketcase

@anne_powell Breathe! These are all very classic and common symptoms of HOCD. I did and still do have groinal response to this day. But it’s different from the response I have to my husband. At the end of the day, I KNOW I love him. Even if I had the option to have the best sex of my life with a woman I wouldn’t take it because to me, all those good phsyical feelings don’t mean much with him - does that make sense? One of things about accepting HOCD is that you cannot 100% say you’re not gay, but you can say it’s highly unlikely that you’re gay. I COULD have a fulfilling sex life with a woman, but it’s unlikely I would since I don’t have emotional and romantic feelings that go with it.

@anne_powell You’re not a basket case - you’re an assault survivor. If you came out of what you just described without any sort of trauma I’d be more worried! You’re doing something profound and amazing just by already recognizing you have a condition and you’re seeking help.

@blech123 Thank you that means a lot. And you’re very right. I want to one day marry a guy and be happy with him and have kids with him. I wanna feel about a guy how I felt about my ex (he was my first love), and ya. I wanna do all of that.

@anne_powell You will ?

@blech123 I am struggling with my sex life with my bf. I have been with a girl before drunk and it was fun and yeah I liked it but I didn’t feel like that’s what I wanted over guys. But the fact I did that a couple years ago, makes me question if I would enjoy women more than men or my bf and that thought pops into my head every time we are sexual. I can’t stand it and it scares me. I get scared that because I know I could be sexual with a girl makes me think I could have a romantic feelings with them but I never have liked one. I never have wanted to be with a woman but my hocd is seriously making me doubt if I could be with a girl. And I can’t take it anymore because I love my bf and I want to stay with him and I just want my sex life back but idk how. It’s all scaring me so much. It makes me think I’ll have to leave to be with a girl cuz the thoughts/feelings with hocd are too much ?

@Ocdandme123 This sounds like a lot - I’m not a trained therapist so I can’t tell you what to do, but I really think you should check out the resources I mentioned above on the website. I can understand wanting to leave your boyfriend because it might seem like the easier/less overwhelming thing to do but don’t jump into making that decision - it’s often times not reflecting of what you want. Just because you’ve been with a woman doesn’t mean that you’re destined or now HAVE to be with one. And it’s okay if it did feel good - like I said before - stimuli of any kind can give you a reaction and it’s really easy to believe that people without HOCD never have them, but they do, they just are able to brush them off while we fixate. Have you spoken to your bf about what’s going on?

@blech123 I’m sorry for that being a lot. I’m just scared ? and yes he knows. He’s been so patient and supportive. I get scared I’m going to annoy him for how bad my hocd and fears are or my lack of sex drive will drive him away. I’m trying to be strong and push through. It’s just truly terrifying. I apologize.

@Ocdandme123 Oh my god no I didn’t mean you’re being a lot! I meant it sounds like you’re going through a lot! Ah stupid text ? I think it’s awesome you’ve been open with your boyfriend - being able to talk to my husband about everything has been SUCH a help. And this is part of you - don’t be scared to confide in him that you’re going through something. Sometimes it can actually be quite bonding and intimate to explore each other at a slower pace - that way you can connect mentally and your brain will focus on the other person and what you’re doing, not your intrusive thoughts. That being said, it’s a partnership, and you have to take that responsibility for your mental health (not that you’re not!!). But the first time you’re able to sit in your anxiety and obsessive thoughts and move through them and get out the other side, (not exactly feeling great but feeling calm) it really will make a difference. And it’s empowering to take control of your mental health.

@blech123 Oh haha okay sorry ? but thank you! I’m 24 and knowing people are out there who have been able to deal with this horrible shit makes me feel good taking to them. I appreciate it. I’m working on finding an ocd specialist! I have been seeing a therapist meanwhile just talk therapy so I’m excited to get better or try! Thanks again!

@Ocdandme123 Of course! Reply on this thread anytime you need someone to bounce stuff off of! ?