Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.

Girl, I'm pretty much in the same boat. We just have to let the thoughts pass and leave the groinal alone. I've had this for 6 months and have tried every possible way to get rid of HOCD and the only way that's shown any recovery progress is seriously approaching HOCD with a careless attitude. "so what if I found a woman sexy/attractive" "I got a groinal from a female? So what, moving on" "I feel in denial? Okay, then I guess I'm in denial, moving on" "I feel the urge to break up with my bf? Alright I will, but I'll do it later" (not actually breaking up, but holding it off in a way??). It's definitely not easy to do though I understand, I have been there girl! But you have to develop the skill of living with uncertainty "this may happen, and it may not, but what I do know NOW is that I want to be with my boyfriend/fiancee". It will definitely feel like you're lying to yourself 100%. Every OCD sufferer feels this and its normal. But you just can't let these "feelings" bother you. Try your best to observe the thought rather than engage with it

Remember that like 90% of female arousal is about our brain, not our genitals. Pay attention to what your logical mind is saying, not your pants ❤️ wishing you the best, HOCD is so hard

I'm going through the same thing. I'm also having trouble with sexual disfunction. Now I get so scared that I won't be able to feel anything and that it means something if I don't, that I don't lmao. I get aroused and then the "what if" thoughts come in and my body shuts down. It sucks. I haven't told my boyfriend about the sexual disfunction altogether because I don't want him to be self conscious. I really love him and personally my favorite part of being intimate with him is being close to him and him being happy. Its It's starting not to matter so much and things are slowly going back to normal.

I wouldn’t worry about it! What you’re describing sounds totally normal to me - this is coming from another straight female (also engaged to the man of my dreams). I think we are turned on by more things than most people are willing to admit. You sound totally normal to me - just stressing about stuff we don’t talk about. ❤️

It’s so hard!

I get it. I mean I’ve only been with one guy and I’ve always had this sense of anxiety around sex so it’s been a ride for me. But, at least you know that you’ve had normal, non-anxiety sex before and you’ll have it again!

Hey I am here and I suffer form same. It’s sucks but I PROMISE you it’s gonna be better. We can not lose hope there is gonna be better moments