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- 5y
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- 5y
Girl, I'm pretty much in the same boat. We just have to let the thoughts pass and leave the groinal alone. I've had this for 6 months and have tried every possible way to get rid of HOCD and the only way that's shown any recovery progress is seriously approaching HOCD with a careless attitude. "so what if I found a woman sexy/attractive" "I got a groinal from a female? So what, moving on" "I feel in denial? Okay, then I guess I'm in denial, moving on" "I feel the urge to break up with my bf? Alright I will, but I'll do it later" (not actually breaking up, but holding it off in a way??). It's definitely not easy to do though I understand, I have been there girl! But you have to develop the skill of living with uncertainty "this may happen, and it may not, but what I do know NOW is that I want to be with my boyfriend/fiancee". It will definitely feel like you're lying to yourself 100%. Every OCD sufferer feels this and its normal. But you just can't let these "feelings" bother you. Try your best to observe the thought rather than engage with it
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- 5y
Ugh you’re so right! I’ve been really trying. Like finding some of this stuff sexy isn’t the same as wanting to leave him. Thanks for your reply, HOCD is a literal mood-killer
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- 5y
Remember that like 90% of female arousal is about our brain, not our genitals. Pay attention to what your logical mind is saying, not your pants ❤️ wishing you the best, HOCD is so hard
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- 5y
It really is. Even more concerning for me is that I have enjoyed looking at boobs in the past, but not in the way of like wanting to have sex with them , more like how desirable that is to a man? Lol OCD and sexuality may be the worst combo ever. Not a fan.
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- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 Omg same ? I'm like "I guess I can understand why guys love them so much" because I used to be so confused why they found them so addictive?
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- 5y
@NocturnalGyal Yeah, I’m thinking the turn on for me is like shit if I had those guys would be going wild for me.
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- 5y
I'm going through the same thing. I'm also having trouble with sexual disfunction. Now I get so scared that I won't be able to feel anything and that it means something if I don't, that I don't lmao. I get aroused and then the "what if" thoughts come in and my body shuts down. It sucks. I haven't told my boyfriend about the sexual disfunction altogether because I don't want him to be self conscious. I really love him and personally my favorite part of being intimate with him is being close to him and him being happy. Its It's starting not to matter so much and things are slowly going back to normal.
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- 5y
Hey I feel you! While sex is hard, the intimacy and closeness I feel after is incomparable.
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- 5y
I should add that sex used to be normal before hocd.
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- 5y
Same
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- 5y
Same ?
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- 5y
I wouldn’t worry about it! What you’re describing sounds totally normal to me - this is coming from another straight female (also engaged to the man of my dreams). I think we are turned on by more things than most people are willing to admit. You sound totally normal to me - just stressing about stuff we don’t talk about. ❤️
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- 5y
Thank you!! Congrats on your engagement!! I’m excited to be with him, I just need to get past like “oh I can’t look at him and get turned on” and enjoy what does turn me on with him. Thanks for your response!
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- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 You are very welcome and know you are not alone. I was talking with my mom about something similar once and she said “sex doesn’t have to be shooting stars and rainbows every time” - it made me realize I’m putting too much pressure on myself to have it be a certain way. Hang in there lady, this too shall pass.
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- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 And thank you! You too!
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- 5y
It’s so hard!
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- 5y
I get it. I mean I’ve only been with one guy and I’ve always had this sense of anxiety around sex so it’s been a ride for me. But, at least you know that you’ve had normal, non-anxiety sex before and you’ll have it again!
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- 5y
I hope. Sometimes I still get scared that it won't go back to how it was. I think if that was the case I could deal though honestly.
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- 5y
@hateocd123 ❤️ you are much stronger than you know. Hang in there and don’t let OCD win
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- 5y
@nervousanchovy99 Thank you; you too! ❤
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- 5y
Hey I am here and I suffer form same. It’s sucks but I PROMISE you it’s gonna be better. We can not lose hope there is gonna be better moments
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
- Date posted
- 13w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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- 12w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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