- Username
- soul1111
- Date posted
- 6y ago
The good news is this- you likely know you have OCD because you are on this app. It sounds like your intrusive thoughts have morphed and decided to focus on your son. Intrusive thoughts tend to attack things we highly value, so we know you deeply care about and value your son. If you are not familiar with it, you should look up Harm OCD. Try not to react to this thought because it’s just a randomly generated thought floating through your consciousness and it’s content says nothing about you or your desires. Everyone has weird thoughts from time to time. Do not buy OCD’s lies that this is significant or meaningful.
I know you are in a crisis and not in therapy so I am going to offer some reassurance. There are hundreds of thousands of people like you with OCD about hurting their loved ones who do not hurt their loved ones. OCD thoughts are “ego dystonic” - they do not reflect who you truly are. Some steps to take: Buy and read a self help book, like “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” or “The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD.” If you are in the USA, google “find an ocd therapist” The first link should be to the International OCD Foundation, which lets you search for OCD therapists who deal with your type of OCD every day. It is a good idea to seek professional help, even if it is just a book, instead of seeking reassurance. You can beat this disorder.
Does this mean that i won’t actually harm my child? I’m so terrified. Can I even find a therapist for this? I don’t want my children taken away from me if I try to seek help! ? I’m so terrified
They won’t take your children away - it doesn’t seem like this, but you don’t want intrusive thoughts, and deep down you know that. You know that you would never want to harm your kid, but the little voice at the back of your head screams “what if you did??” And even though you’re thinking “i would never”, that tiny tiny part of your brain is still there, and it can be really terrifying sometimes, but you have to seek help from a therapist that deals with this, and just remember, they’re intrusive thoughts that you know you don’t want to act in
I’m very new to all of these OCD feelings. They only started 4 months ago and now I’m terrified. I have so many racing thoughts I can’t even keep track and now the past 2 days thoughts of hurting my children!?? I’ve been reading about ocd and everything says that people with ocd are the last people who would ever hurt someone because the thought of it scares them and makes them disgusted. Is this true? I never want to hurt my children!
Did you only recently have a baby? If so, You may have postpartum OCD. You probably would benefit from starting some anxiety medication. You do not have to tell your doctor the full extent of your worries but can tell them you are having excessive worry every day. I would also strongly suggest listening to the OCD Stories Podcast and Chrissie Hodges YouTube channel
Hello, thank you but no. My children are 4 and 2?This only recently started a couple days ago. I’ve had ocd for a while but this is new
My heart hurts so much right now. I am a mother of two and I am afraid to be near my children. Two weeks ago, everything was fine. I never had an intrusive thought about them at all. My mother recently told me that my father SA’ed me and I do not remember it because I was too little to remember. Well, while trying to cope with that information… I had a terrible intrusive thought. “What if I become like my father?” “What if you’re attracted to you kids?” I instantly felt sick, I threw up and then I could NOT stop thinking. I keep getting this horrible sinking feeling near them. I keep crying and missing how simple it was before. I love them so much and it’s only pure mother love. I don’t even have any urges it makes no sense why I can’t let this thought go. I just want to go back to being their mommy. I was looking at videos of when they were tiny babies or even from a few weeks ago and just crying because it was just simple and life was amazing and I cherished my children… now I am afraid to be near them. I told my boyfriend because I was having such terrible anxiety from this and I’ve been in a dark place. He knows I’ve had other obsessions and panic attacks so he is being very helpful through this. He says he trusts me and knows I would never harm our kids. But I keep feeling so guilty for even having this thought at all.
I have had what I think is Harm OCD since the age of 10. My mom didn’t understand when I told her “I feel like I might kill someone” which ultimately led to me suffering in silence until the age of 20 where I was just diagnosed with GAD. Since being on Zoloft for over 10 years I did relatively well. I would have small flair ups, but was able to pull myself out of it. Now, since having my second child, I have completely relapse and I struggle almost daily. I was weaned off of Zoloft and put on Lexapro. Which seemed to work and now I’m back to square one. TL;DR My thought is that I would choke my children. It sometimes almost feels like and urge (my hands feel weird). This is the last think I ever want to do and it causes me distress to the point of panic. TW: Sucide. Sometimes I think it’s better if I’m just not here because I wouldn’t be a danger to my children. I often think about movies like shutter island and think I am like that mother. Or real some real like mother that drown her children that I saw on the news when I was a kid. It has also turned into Psychosis OCD at times where I am so afraid I am developing psychosis and that I would hurt my kids from that. Which comes with its whole own set of “rules” and fears. I’m just trying to find some confirmation that this is actually ocd or if I have something else. I’m just struggling. Thanks for reading.
I’m almost 3 months post partum. My baby was in the nicu for about 3 1/2 weeks after birth so we had a rough start. A couple nights after I brought her home I woke up for one of her middle of the night feeds. I made her bottle as usual and started feeding her. I was just looking at her and was all of a sudden bombarded by all of these terrifying thoughts like “what if I stab her.” I was so panicked and nauseated to the point of throwing up. I just knew those intrusive thoughts were the beginning of post partum psychosis and I was going to do something terrible to myself or my baby while in the psychosis. I couldn’t go back to sleep and just cried and cried the next day. I saw my obgyn and was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft and 5mg of buspar. Each day that passed after that I started to feel a letter better. Then I got my first post partum period. After my period I started having panick attacks and terrible chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack so I saw a doctor who ran some tests. Everything came back completely normal and was told I’m just having severe anxiety and am under a lot of stress. So I saw my obgyn again and she upped my Zoloft to 50mg and my buspar to 15mg. The first few days were terrible. I thought I was having a bad reaction to the medication my anxiety was through the roof and I felt absolutely hopeless. My harm ocd was so bad. I thought I was going to take my own life. Not because I wanted to but because I just felt so hopeless. I moved back in with my parents so that there was eyes on me at all times. I was still scared I was going to go into a psychosis and hurt my baby. I felt better after a few days and the medication had started working again. I felt completely normal up until my 2nd post partum period. I’m ten days off of my period and now I’m back at square one. My harm ocd has spiraled. I’m having terrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my baby. I know now I’m not going to go into a psychosis because if I was going to I would have already. When I’m having these thoughts and they don’t make me nauseous I start to obsess over whether or not I’m a dangerous person or capable of being violent. Now I’m stuck on that. The fact that I’m not dwelling on the intrusive thoughts the way I used to has made me question if post partum has turned me into a psychopath or sociopath. I question all of my emotions and wonder if I’m actually feeling the way I think I do or wondering if they’re generic emotions. I’m ferried. Please help.
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