Struggling rn

I usually try to stay positive. But the past few days it’s just been hard for me. I just find it really difficult for people in my life to understand how debilitating ocd can be . It feels like people belive I should be able to do more or be just be over it by now. I honestly need support but I don’t really feel like I have it in my daily life. Recently my ocd has just been really big on contamination. To the point where my house feels like one big trap. I’m trying to get better but I feel like no matter how much effort I put into getting my life back. It just feels like I’m in quick sand…not getting anywhere. OCD has taken so much away from me. I just want my life back. I’m trying my hardest. Ugh It’s just been tough. The outside world hasn’t felt safe for months so it’s caused me to isolate and now my own place doesn’t feel safe. I’m just struggling tbh. I just neededto let that out and be vulnerable tbh 😕

Contamination OCD

Peacher

Date posted: 17h

I can relate to exactly everything you said. Do you want to talk about it? I’m here to listen

britkai

Date posted: 16h

@Peacher I really appreciate you. It’s just that my ocd got really bad almost a year ago. And I was finally getting better. Until something traumatic happened to me in the end of June. After that the world just felt and feels so scary. Every time I step out I feel so unsafe. Due to this I stopped driving and now I’m just isolated. My home was the only thing keeping me sane. But then my ocd started to attack that too the past week. And now I’m just so exhausted. I can’t even stand up to go in the kitchen without having to wash my hands or feeling impending doom. I try exposures and I’m trying everything to get better. But I have a lot of stressors and it isn’t helping my ocd at all. I don’t have a support system in my life. I have a friend who tries her best to understand what I’m going through and I’m really grateful for that. But she has her own life. I don’t ever expect her to take care of me. But if I’m being honest ocd is making even the bare minimum and necessities for everyday functioning really hard. I just could really use a friend that understands😕 I know it’s going to get better and I’m hopeful. But I’ve been saying that line for ages. I just want my life back. Ugh Thank you for letting me get that out. I hate that we’re going through similar things. If you ever want to talk about what you’re going through. I’m here to listen as well. But if not I just appreciate you being there.

Billy.C

Date posted: 14h

@britkai Hi, “I just want my life back.” I thought the same thing earlier today. It’s not the first time I’ve had that thought. It got bad for me around age 15 and that was about 10 years ago. It sucks when you tell people and go to get help and it’s still hard. The therapy is though, living with it is tougher. Anyway, just wanted to say I understand the feeling.

Peacher

Date posted: 11h

@britkai Thank you for sharing. It’s very courageous of you and valuable for others to understand how debilitating OCD can be. I understand. It’s really difficult when we’re faced with a challenge that increases the severity of our struggles after getting better and seeing light at the end of the tunnel. That drastic shift from a positive state to one where we feel distress really takes an emotional toll on us. It sounds like your safe place (home) helped provide comfort, but after a traumatic event, the world started feeling scary and unsafe, then OCD began compromising your safe haven, so you are feeling exhausted. Yes, why does OCD make even what should be simple tasks so freaking hard? It feels like nothing works despite continued consistent effort. All we want is to have peace of mind. Our lives back. You are very thoughtful and a good friend who is considerate of your friend’s space. This demonstrates resilience, and it is in these moments where your true character shines bright. You are a GEM! I appreciate your offer! I need to let my tear reservoirs refill after having the waterworks absolutely explode in many instances over this past week 🙂

Aprilshowers...

Date posted: 25w

My OCD

Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.

bun <3

Date posted: 22w

everything around me feels contaminated :((

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

Contamination OCD

flowerpetals

Date posted: 19w

word vomit

i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Struggling rn

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community